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Cool Ant Leaks From International Space Station, Major Evacuation Under Way

Funny story: Cool Ant Leaks From International Space Station, Major Evacuation Under Way

The Cosmos - Space paleoentomologists (WTF dat? 'Ed') at NASA's insect fossil cloning division are studying reports that a species of glacier ant indigenous to comets has gummed up the works in the International Space Station. Close-ups of a colon...

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Woman almost kills child by accident after ringing poison information line

Funny story: Woman almost kills child by accident after ringing poison information line

Lincoln, Nebraska- A woman frantically rang a local poison information line after her 7 year old daughter ate some black carpenter ants in the back yard. The operator assured her that the ants were harmless but advised against the child eating any...

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Russian Satellite Spots Ants On The Planet Mercury

Funny story: Russian Satellite Spots Ants On The Planet Mercury

MOSCOW - The Russian News Agency, Vodkavich has just announced that Russia's premier satellite Siberia 7 has just sent back some astonishing photos taken of the planet Mercury. A spokesperson for Vodkavich said that 17 of the 19 photographs clearl...

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Dutch woman accused of genocide; she murdered a million ants!

Funny story: Dutch woman accused of genocide; she murdered a million ants!

A Dutch woman has been accused at the International court of justice in the Hague of genocide because she massacred a million (not exactly counted because the rascals are cannibals and many of the dead bodies were eaten) ants outside her front door.

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Flying Ants - Helpful Tips And Money Saving Solutions With Martin Shuttlecock

Funny story: Flying Ants - Helpful Tips And Money Saving Solutions With Martin Shuttlecock

Flying ants eh? What do you do with them? Good question. On the face of it, flying ants are fucking useless. But are they? We sent Skoob Magazine's very own Martin Shuttlecock out to investigate. He unearthed the following facts down the pub: * The best way to deal with them, is to stamp on them, or hit the fuckers with a rolled up newspaper. *If there are literally millions of the bug...

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Local Man In Horrific Flying Ant Terror Shocker

Funny story: Local Man In Horrific Flying Ant Terror Shocker

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, who frequently describes himself as 'a suave and sophisticated man about town' (Somewhat misguidedly, it has to be said.) was reduced to a jibbering wreck last night following a horrific terror attack shocker perpetrate...

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Giant foot crushes Antville; 234 dead

Funny story: Giant foot crushes Antville; 234 dead

According to Mr. Redbody, guard number 3425 of the colony, rescue workers today searched for victims of a giant foot that tripped through several local colonies this weekend, killing at least 234 in Antville, where a devastating foot touched down and...

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Scientist Stunned! Frostbite Caused by Newly Discovered Ice Ants

Funny story: Scientist Stunned! Frostbite Caused by Newly Discovered Ice Ants

Washington - According to Col. Wilhelm Worste of the Army Cold Weather Research Station at Glacier Falls, New Mexico, tiny ice ants, which he refers to as tiny ice ants, survive in frozen tiny igloo like snow compounds and glaciers where they whittle...

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Colonel Juan Caught Up In Chernobyl Giant Radioactive Ant Scare/Panic

Funny story: Colonel Juan Caught Up In Chernobyl Giant Radioactive Ant Scare/Panic

Exiled Bolivian dictator and part time scribe for popular satirical website theSpoof.com, Colonel Juan, today revealed that he suffered a terrifying ordeal at the site of the Chernobyl nuclear reactor meltdown. The Colonel, a much reviled figure i...

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50-Cent Solution to Get Rid of Ants

Funny story: 50-Cent Solution to Get Rid of Ants

I saw the headline "50-Cent Solution to Get Rid of Ants" and it stopped me in my tracks. I thought, "man, not only is this guy one of the best rappers in the business, but he is stepping so far out of the box, we have to applaud him. Sure, he endorse...

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Pissants Observed Working Asses Off -- For What?

Funny story: Pissants Observed Working Asses Off -- For What?

That's the question a group of scientists are asking after observing a particular colony of ants "working their little asses off" day after day just outside their offices next to the main sidewalk. Dr. Jeff Dunkirk, lead entomologist in the new st...

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Halifax Ant Infestation Worries Beatle

Funny story: Halifax Ant Infestation Worries Beatle

Halifax, Canada- An ant infestation in Halifax, Nova Scotia has Beatle, Paul McCartney, worried. The world-renowned tune smith and musician is set to play Halifax on July 11th. "I can't stand insects," stated Paul. "...and apparently these are Eur...

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