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Funny story: Animal Rights Group Wants The Amish To Stop Using The Horse and Buggy As A Means of Transportation

Animal Rights Group Wants The Amish To Stop Using The Horse and Buggy As A Means of Transportation

NORFOLK, Virginia - The animal rights group known as PETA, which stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, has just announced its latest statement. Executive Director Mimosa Ledbetter has sent a message to the Amish community stating...
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Funny story: An Amish Internet Site Reports It Receives About 17 Hits A Week

An Amish Internet Site Reports It Receives About 17 Hits A Week

LANCASTER, Pennsylvania - There is an Amish Internet site that is run secretly by an Amish man in his early 20s. The young man obviously did not want his named revealed as this could cause him to be banished from the Amish community and branded a...
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Funny story: Missing Malaysian Jet Found in Basement of Amish Church Playing X-Box

Missing Malaysian Jet Found in Basement of Amish Church Playing X-Box

Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, a Boeing 777 wide-body passenger plane with 239 people on board, which disappeared an hour after takeoff almost a week ago and has since been the focus of a massive international search, has finally been located. The mi...
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Funny story: Amish Radicals Blamed for Super Bowl Blackout

Amish Radicals Blamed for Super Bowl Blackout

The 34-minute long power outage during yesterday's Super Bowl game may have been the work of Amish radicals, say police. "We have witnesses who saw a couple of guys in a horse-drawn buggy with a triangular reflector on the back force their way into...
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Funny story: Massive sinkhole proves Ohio sucks!

Massive sinkhole proves Ohio sucks!

DOVER, Ohio (ABSNN) - Fox's Karl Rove was absolutely right: "Ohio sucks!" Today Ohio proved it sucks when a four-football-field-wide sinkhole swallowed up a large section of Ohio State Road 513 just west of Dover. "Holy crap! I was just watch...
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Funny story: Pattinson cousin is only man in America who has never seen the Twilight Saga

Pattinson cousin is only man in America who has never seen the Twilight Saga

LANCASTER COUNTY, Pennsylvania (ABSNN) - A vast number of the farms in this Pennsylvania county have no electricity, no televisions, no telephones, no motor vehicles, no Honey Boo Boo. They are Amish folk, and yet, even the Amish know of the Twiligh...
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Funny story: Late Night Screening of Harrison Ford Movie Ignites Amish Fury

Late Night Screening of Harrison Ford Movie Ignites Amish Fury

A midnight screening of the 1985 American thriller film directed by Peter Weir and starring Harrison Ford and Kelly McGillis, Witness, has ignited scenes of violence and rioting throughout the Amish community in various locations across the United St...
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Funny story: Amish Apparel Hits Stores Tomorrow

Amish Apparel Hits Stores Tomorrow

The highly anticipated opening of Amish clothing store chain "Buckles" has many young people camping outside Malls, determined to be the first to own a ridiculous hat, with no functional use and a pair of uncomfortable Amish sneakers, with the trade...
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Funny story: Amish Pirates Seize Freighter "Bilderburger" off Portugal.

Amish Pirates Seize Freighter "Bilderburger" off Portugal.

From Independent News Agencies in Lisbon and a Portuguese cabdriver named Mac-The German freighter. "Bilderburger" was commandeered by "Yoder (the Boater) Geronimo and his gang of naval carpenters who quickly raised a barn around the ship and tra...
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Funny story: G'pickled Easter eggs all the rave this Amish Easter

G'pickled Easter eggs all the rave this Amish Easter

INTERCOURSE, Pa. - Although many people feel it's appropriate to pick on the Amish, the Pennsylvanian Germans are getting the last laugh. G'pickled Easter eggs are flying off the shelves of Amish food stores from Lancaster to Easton, Pennsylvania,...
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Funny story: The End Is Near...If You're Amish, More So.

The End Is Near...If You're Amish, More So.

New York, USA - Authorities here are preparing for the imminent Battle of Armageddon now that four Amish men have been arrested for drunken driving of a horse-drawn carriage. The Amish are known as a very devout Christian sect and locals here are...
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Funny story: Street Racing Amish Men Jailed

Street Racing Amish Men Jailed

Nine Amish men were ordered to jail for racing their horse-drawn buggies on a public highway an incident that had one responding police officer saying it was the worst drag racing event he had ever seen. The men, who cannot be named as I know no...
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Funny story: Bearded Man Spills Breakfast but Finds Car Keys

Bearded Man Spills Breakfast but Finds Car Keys

Horace Felchman, reformed Amish farmer turned general handy man was attempting to eat his breakfast at the Daisy Diner this morning only to have dropped a fork full of pancakes and pork sausage into his ample beard. Reaching in through the twisted f...
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Funny story: Amish Man Kills Wife, Self

Amish Man Kills Wife, Self

Bristol PA - A local Amish man attacked his wife during dinner yesterday, killing her in their home on Sundance Road. Police say the body of thirty-eight year old Elizabeth Morgan, wife of Joshua Morgan, was found by neighbors in a walk-in pantry cov...
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Funny story: Amish and Hassidic Jews Get Into Brawl About Which Group Is More Backwards and Humble

Amish and Hassidic Jews Get Into Brawl About Which Group Is More Backwards and Humble

Two religious groups squared off into an arguement that turned into a brawl as more than words were exchanged between groups of Hassidic Jews and Pennsylvania Amish. Fists and bottles both flew through the air as the two religious sects argued which...
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Funny story: Pikey County Amish elders 'shuffled paedo perv just like the Vatican'

Pikey County Amish elders 'shuffled paedo perv just like the Vatican'

Missouri - (Amishionary Position): Senior Amish community members ran around like headless chickens not knowing how to deal with paedo pervert Chester Mast, according to reports from the USA. The Pikey (sic) County (sic) father-of-two has now bee...
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Funny story: 'Diabolical' Liberty as X-rated patchwork quilts stun West End shoppers

'Diabolical' Liberty as X-rated patchwork quilts stun West End shoppers

London - (Nakes Ass Mess): "Don't blame the Amish for this explicit filth!" is how one shopper with a dislocated eyeball put it today. The offending exhibit at the Great Marlborough Street store's display of vintage nudity in the form of graphic p...
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Funny story: Amish Renounce Simple Ways; Hope to Complicate Lives by Year-End

Amish Renounce Simple Ways; Hope to Complicate Lives by Year-End

Lancaster- During a stunning press conference held earlier today, Amish spokesperson, Martha Lapp, unveiled an ambitious and coordinated plan designed to eradicate the Mennonite's modest and simple manner of living in an effort to complicate their l...
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Breaking News...

"I Made Up Global Warming" Admits Gore

"I needed a new campaign hook and that bit about me inventing the Internet just wasn't going to fly so I just thought up that one," said Al Gore, Nobel Prize winner and former Vice-President.

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