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Funny satire stories about alcoholism

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Nashville Man's Sorrows Learn to Swim

Funny story: Nashville Man's Sorrows Learn to Swim

After decades of successfully drowning his sorrows with whiskey, craft brews, and even the occasional black coffee, Nashville man Bryce Rutledge, Jr., was disconcerted to find that those tried-and-true drowning techniques no longer worked; it seemed...

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Parents who get pissed in front of their kids could damage them!

Funny story: Parents who get pissed in front of their kids could damage them!

UK scientists, after studying the behavior of kids witnessing their parents boozing have come to the conclusion; it is bad for them! This 'rocket science' discovery will rock the medical fraternity and hopefully teach binge drinking parents, who d...

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Allardyce Names Squad For 2018 World Cup Embarrassment

Funny story: Allardyce Names Squad For 2018 World Cup Embarrassment

Sam Allardyce has named his 23 man squad for the 2018 FIFA World Cup with Paul Gasgoine in alongside Kenny Sansom while Bobby Charlton and Gordon Banks miss out along with the late Stanley Matthews. Gasgoine impressed during Euro '96 scoring again...

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Area Man Convinced All of His Problems "Just Old Age"

Santa Cruz, California - 79 year old Santa Cruz resident Harry Rider discounted as "irrelevant" his personal habits in explaining a recent hospitalization. Mr. Rider was rushed to the hospital early yesterday morning after having smoked a gram of...

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Man who gets drunk daily denies that he's an alcoholic

Funny story: Man who gets drunk daily denies that he's an alcoholic

New York, N.Y. - Drew Dow of Roosevelt Island is an ordinary man with an extraordinary ability: his stomach uses excess yeast in his digestive tract to ferment carbs and sugar-dense foods into alcohol. This rare health condition is called auto-brewer...

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Dean R. Koontz

Dean R. Koontz, known (by colleague and competitor Stephen King) as "the Stephen King of the West Coast," dissociates himself with horror, saying, "To be a horror writer, one must be a horrible writer." He is not to be confused with his fictional alter ego, horror writer Dean Koontz. Koontz was born in Pennsylvania, under a host of pseudonyms, and conceived the plots of his first 33 novels whi...

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The Para Lytic Games - Day 3 Report

Funny story: The Para Lytic Games - Day 3 Report

Drinks all round as Brits hit Gold (Labels) - Four days into the games, and as predicted, the big two teams of Russia and Great Britain are dominating the medal table with five golds each. The shock of day two was the defeat of defending champion...

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Scottish Alcoholism is on the decrease - at last!

According to a study, Scots are drinking less alcohol than they were a year ago. Scottish adults still drink (on average) 115% more than their English counterparts, but the drop is encouraging. It now means more Scots are using milk on their cornfla...

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Rare Outbreak of Raccoon Alcoholism in Rural Missouri

PUXICO, MO- Last weekend a Puxico resident noticed peculiar behavior among some of the furry critters that live on his farm. The raccoons were displaying signs of increased aggression, momentary fatigue, and a lack of hygiene. The local wildlife serv...

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My Top 10 Reasons for Drinking Too Much

Funny story: My Top 10 Reasons for Drinking Too Much

10. According to my horoscope, that's what I was supposed to do. 9. My dad drank too much. 8. My girlfriend drinks too much. 7. Being sober around drunk people sucks. 6. Dry heaves are almost as good as crunches - and that's on top of my smoker's cough! 5. Artists, musicians and writers always drink too much - that's just the way it is. 4. I'm tired of feeling left out. 3. I'm...

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Gazza Embarassed By Super Injunction

Funny story: Gazza Embarassed By Super Injunction

Former England international Paul Gascoigne has revealed he took out a Carlsberg Super Injunction in 2005 to protect his privacy, but admits that it was a mistake. The Geordie, who made 57 appearances for England and scored 10 goals, has been wagi...

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The Queen Takes A Knee

The Queen of England takes a knee in front of Trump during the playing of the Stars Spangle Banner, joining the protest.
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