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Funny story:  Airport Security Finds 30 Pounds of Cocaine Under Fat Lady's Boobs!

Airport Security Finds 30 Pounds of Cocaine Under Fat Lady's Boobs!

While this might not be a drug mule case, security guards at Kennedy Airport say it was more like a cow-smuggling incident. An as yet unknown 300-pound woman was routinely being searched at the airport when a bag of cocaine fell out on the floor.
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Funny story:  Enraged Senators Schumer, Cruz Come Close to Blows on Senate Floor

Enraged Senators Schumer, Cruz Come Close to Blows on Senate Floor

WASHINGTON (AP) - On the eve of the massacre of children at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newton, The National Rifle Association won another victory. The victory shows the enormous power and control of the association over obedient members of the U.S. Se...
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Funny story:  Sarah Palin Embarrassed At Airport Security!

Sarah Palin Embarrassed At Airport Security!

Sarah Plain has once again spoken out about the Martin Bashir resignation. "I expect these personal attacks on me because I am a Christian, I am conservative and I want the USA to stay a free nation. So Mr. Bashir didn't say anything that will bot...
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Funny story:  Saudi airport rolls outs gay detector kits

Saudi airport rolls outs gay detector kits

Arabian Gulf - A bit of nifty detective work has identified the cutting edge security scanners as manufactured under licence in a First Anonymous Bank of Switzerland deal by a secretive, high tech Crawford, Texas corp. The address on the back of t...
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Funny story:  Kanye West Knocks Photographer Down At LAX

Kanye West Knocks Photographer Down At LAX

LOS ANGELES - Kanye West's luck may have just run out as he will most probably be sued by a photographer who was pushed to the airport terminal floor by the out-of-control rapper. Several eyewitnesses reported seeing West physically pick up the mu...
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Funny story:  Passengers demand the return of the Body Scanners

Passengers demand the return of the Body Scanners

Air passengers at Stockport Airport are demanding a return of the full body terrahertz scanners after the replacement has proven unpopular. The full body scanners were installed in 2005 and caused a massive controversy when it was revealed that th...
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Funny story:  TSA Blows Up Suspicious Passenger

TSA Blows Up Suspicious Passenger

Transportation Security Administration airport workers intentionally blew up a passenger today after he began acting suspiciously. "The male subject was very nervous, and he had no identification and no luggage, and he refused to identify himsel...
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Funny story:  Congressman: Replace TSA with New Airport Screening Program

Congressman: Replace TSA with New Airport Screening Program

Washington (SAPP) - To stop a mounting surge of complaints against the Transportation Security Agency (TSA), Congressman Westley Guilder (R-Texas) has introduced House Bill 1202 that would change the way TSA screeners handle passengers entering into...
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Funny story:  Heathrow Passport Control Queues: Tough Tits, Says Official

Heathrow Passport Control Queues: Tough Tits, Says Official

Members of the UK Border Force are enjoying holding up people trying to get through passpoprt control at Heathrow, we can reveal. Waiting times have been seriously affected by the Easter holidays with some passengers waiting for more than an hour...
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Funny story:  Cameron Warns Of Banning Incoming US Passenger Flights  From Britain!

Cameron Warns Of Banning Incoming US Passenger Flights From Britain!

The astonishing decision by 'Big Sis' to put passengers lives at increased risk from elderly terrorists by relaxing security procedures for the over 75's at US airports has brought a warning from Britain's Prime Minister David Cameron, currently in A...
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Funny story:  Newt Gingrich sets off metal detector at New York airport

Newt Gingrich sets off metal detector at New York airport

New York, NY. - In an effort to look more like the common man, Newt Gingrich grounded his private jet and booked a commercial fight to his weekend retreat in the Hamptons forcing him to suffer the same pat-downs and rectal probe we all do when we f...
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Funny story:  "Imminent Threat Of Terrorists Posing As TSA and DHS Personnel," CIA says

"Imminent Threat Of Terrorists Posing As TSA and DHS Personnel," CIA says

President Obama was informed yesterday about definite threats to the homeland from terrorists posing as TSA, DHS or other government officials. There was also specific intelligence about a female terrorist, a lookalike of DHS Secretary Janet Napolita...
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Funny story:  Airport Administrators That Implemented Nude X-Ray Machine Actually Porn Addicts

Airport Administrators That Implemented Nude X-Ray Machine Actually Porn Addicts

In the wake of the news that airports across the country will now be using machines that take nude photographs of passengers, x rays of a person's insides, and body cavity searches that are video taped, it has now been discovered that the administrat...
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Funny story:  TSA Charges UK Man with Attempt to  Smuggle Endangered  'Alligator Bags' Through Newark Airport!

TSA Charges UK Man with Attempt to Smuggle Endangered 'Alligator Bags' Through Newark Airport!

Minimum Wage TSA union workers, smarting from a series of law enforcement charges running from rape, murder, theft, drug smuggling, pedophilia, and sexual fondling and harassment attempted to make it all right by detaining a British man who claims h...
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Funny story:  Spider sparks terror alert at Manchester Airport

Spider sparks terror alert at Manchester Airport

A spider triggered an evacuation of Manchester Airport today when it was mistaken for a terror attack. It was not a massive mutated beast crushing planes under one of it's eight feet. It wasn't even a venomous spider. Or hairy. It was an ordinary...
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Funny story:  TSA Launches 'Finders/Keepers' to Battle the Deficit

TSA Launches 'Finders/Keepers' to Battle the Deficit

Washington DC - The Federal Government's army of airport security guards is being enlisted in the fight to reduce the nation's budget deficit. Under a new program called "Finders/Keepers," TSA agents will be empowered to seize any currency, jewelr...
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Funny story:  The TSA Says That Their Pat Downs Are Going To Get Even More Intimate After They Find A Grenade Launcher On A Flight Bound For Arizona

The TSA Says That Their Pat Downs Are Going To Get Even More Intimate After They Find A Grenade Launcher On A Flight Bound For Arizona

LOS ANGELES - Transportation Security Administration Spokesperson Clovis Baxter Shamnoodle met with the members of the media at LAX Airport. He informed them that due to the fact that a co-pilot aboard a recent Trans Air Arizona flight found a gre...
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Funny story:  Arkansas Man Arrested for Setting Up A Fake "Pat Down" Scam at The Mrs. Billy Clinton Airport In Hot Springs

Arkansas Man Arrested for Setting Up A Fake "Pat Down" Scam at The Mrs. Billy Clinton Airport In Hot Springs

HOT SPRINGS, Arkansas - Airport security guards apprehended an individual identified as Bucky "Buck" Fippyquack, 42, at The Mrs. Billy Clinton Airport in Hot Springs. One of the security guards Conway Earl Strayfoil said that he and his partner Ea...
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True Facts From Snoops #1335

Snoops: The average number of toothpicks people swallow in their lifetime? Three. Mostly from laughing after dinner.

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