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Funny satire stories about aging

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Kim Kardashian Is Getting Old

Funny story: Kim Kardashian Is Getting Old

Shakespeare said of Cleopatra that "Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety." However, it is surely different in our Modern Fast-Moving Age, and it is time to admit that Kim Kardashian is getting old. She is not as young as...

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Stallone on Latest Rambo Role: "It's a Bitch Getting Old"

HOLLYWOOD - Tweeting the other day, Sylvester Stallone revealed that he will be reprising his role as "Rambo" one final time. The movie will be called "Rambo: Last Blood." Details of the project have since started slowly dripping out of Hollywood...

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Excitement About New Year's Eve Fades With Age - Study Finds.

Funny story: Excitement About New Year's Eve Fades With Age - Study Finds.

Fayetteville, AR - A recent study by the University of Arkansas found that a person's excitement about New Year's Eve and associated celebrations tends to fade with a person's age. Lead researcher Vernon Springer, PhD, professor emeritus at the U...

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Sales of Hot Flash Barbie Skyrocket

Funny story: Sales of Hot Flash Barbie Skyrocket

Hot Flash Barbie is the newest addition to the Barbie doll franchise. Hot Flash Barbie features flushed skin, tiny beads of sweat on her brow and thinning hair. Accessories include a fan, a large iced beverage and a bottle of estrogen pills. "The...

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Forever Young: Elderly Girl Shares Her Priceless Strategies

Elderly Girl adores elderly people. They exude a sweetness and softness that is quite special. They have a vulnerability that is touching. They have patience, bravery and wisdom. Elderly Girl is glad they exist. She just doesn't want to be one of them. Instead, she has become a kick-ass person, a hell-raiser, an enigma, a renegade. Much to her surprise, she has turned back the...

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Elderly Girl Turns Aging into a Sexy New Fad

Thank god, bladder incontinence has become trendy. It's about time! Elderly Girl inspired billions of people to regard elderliness as alluring, sassy and brilliant. Now, hundreds of profit-mad companies have succumbed to her voluptuous wisdom by creating products that have turned 80-year-olds into the new hip-hop generation. She has urged the Obama Administration to award the Medal o...

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My Senior Moments for W/E: 8th July 2012

Funny story: My Senior Moments for W/E: 8th July 2012

Sunday 1st July 2012 * Woke up 0600hrs, angina pains bad, went to loo, as I passed through the kitchen, I took the burnt pan of veg stew off the stove and placed it lovingly in a bowl of water. *WC'd made a cuppa, took medications, and did a bit on the Spoof. Monday 2nd July 2012 * Up at 0500hrs, Spoofed a bit, took medications, made meal for the lovely Margaret, got me gigantic stack...

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24 Year Old Excited to Age Gracefully

Funny story: 24 Year Old Excited to Age Gracefully

Scranton, PA resident Kimberly Ellison plans to age gracefully. "I've decided I'm not going to wear makeup or anything when I get older," said Ellison, who turned 24 last month and who once had to google the unfamiliar term, 'crows-feet'. "I ju...

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Age is a very high price to pay for maturity!

Funny story: Age is a very high price to pay for maturity!

As I am getting older, more senile, and my health is deteriorating, I thought it would be nice to pass on some tips and advice for the youngsters while relating some of the happenings from my past, to help prepare them for the (if they live that long) approach of decrepitude. I have lived (using the word loosely) in Nottingham for most of my pathetic life, so I suppose this guide to life will b...

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Six-Year-Old's Mid-Life Crisis Predicts Young, Untimely Death

Funny story: Six-Year-Old's Mid-Life Crisis Predicts Young, Untimely Death

COON RAPIDS, MN-When six-year-old Jimmy Francis traded in his old model cars for a brand new red model Corvette, his parents knew something wasn't right. But it wasn't until he started spending a lot more time with three-year-old neighbor girl Haley...

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Homeless baby boomers overdue for death

Funny story: Homeless baby boomers overdue for death

Newly-homeless baby-boomers are dying minutes after leaving their former homes. As reported in the press here, it is expected that younger people will live shorter lives (up to thirty years less) if they are homeless. Our source, Dr. Offincaye, r...

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Vietnamese woman 'ages' 50 years in days, looks exactly like woman's mother who cannot be located

Funny story: Vietnamese woman 'ages' 50 years in days, looks exactly like woman's mother who cannot be located

SAIGON--Nguyen Thi Phuong, 23, is telling friends to just put up with the itch the next time they have an allergic reaction to seafood. Her husband and she claim that, after taking steroidal medication, she aged some 50 years in a matter of days.

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Pensioners' Thoughts on Life

Funny story: Pensioners' Thoughts on Life

We thought it worth printing, as a warning to the younger generation, and an example of lousy poetry. The memory goes, most times you go into the bedroom or den, And stand there thinking 'What did I come in here for then?" You'll misplace and lose things repeatedly, again and again, Forever losing your hearing aids, spectacles and pen, You may even forget the names of the children y...

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Does this Spoof writer qualify for a disability pension? Technology is driving me crazier than I was

Funny story: Does this Spoof writer qualify for a disability pension? Technology is driving me crazier than I was

Many years ago, around 1957,I was totally fascinated by the television set my dad bought when I was about 9 years old. A small black and white picture came into our living room each day, to amuse us and bring us World News. No needed to get off the couch to change channels, we only had ONE. We DID have to wait a few minutes for the t.v. to 'warm up' though. The test card showed when there...

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