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Funny story: A costly trip

A costly trip

Gateshead council has been ordered to pay £5,000 in compensation to a resident who suffered a fractured ankle after tripping on a payment. Jack Poundfoot was leaving the council offices when he tripped over a stack of money which had been dropped...
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Funny story: Star Wars Enthusiast Blinds Himself With Homemade Lightsaber

Star Wars Enthusiast Blinds Himself With Homemade Lightsaber

Darien CT: Months of painstaking research and design ended in calamity yesterday when a man accidentally blinded himself while in the final stages of developing a homemade light saber. The mishap is thought to have occurred when Star Wars enthusiast...
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Funny story: Oregon Crime Suspect Accidently Shoots Himself in the Balls!

Oregon Crime Suspect Accidently Shoots Himself in the Balls!

Salem, Oregon police have arrested and are now guarding at the hospital a man suspected of shooting an Uncle, then shoots himself in the balls while trying to escape the police. A neighbor heard a loud argument going on in another apartment and su...
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Funny story: Robert Pattinson Cuts Off Weiner

Robert Pattinson Cuts Off Weiner

The big news here just about an hour ago is that somehow or other, actor Robert Pattison has cut off weiner but we are awaiting more news on the subject. OK, here's a spokeswoman for Pattinson. "Ladies and gentlemen of the Press, I am here to a...
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Funny story: White Christmas Dream Comes True after Flour Truck Overturns

White Christmas Dream Comes True after Flour Truck Overturns

A truck carrying sacks of flour overturned on the I-64 ramp as it exits onto I-65. It spilled its load onto the highway below, and the high winds that blew east south east served to spread the snowy white holiday cheer. Several lanes of traffic were...
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Funny story: An Aspen Man Develops Road Rage After Buying Fake Pot From A Fake Pot Dealer

An Aspen Man Develops Road Rage After Buying Fake Pot From A Fake Pot Dealer

ASPEN, Colorado - The Colorado Highway Patrol is reporting that an Aspen resident recently developed what they consider to be the worst case of road rage in the history of the state of Colorado. A spokesperson for the CHP, Sergeant Cruxton Tartant...
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Funny story: Tony Stewart to Race with One Leg Tied behind His Back

Tony Stewart to Race with One Leg Tied behind His Back

Speedway, Indiana - Two major fractures are not enough to keep NASCAR's Tony Stewart out of the driver's seat. The versatile racer, who fractured his leg in two places in a minor-league dirt track event, has ordered his medical team to position h...
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Funny story: Gateshead Couple Fall on Hard Times

Gateshead Couple Fall on Hard Times

A middle-aged couple are recovering in hospital after a freak accident on their local high street. George and Florence Sellers tripped over a tightly bound parcel of newspapers which had been left for them outside their newsagents shop. They fell...
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Funny story: Health Alert, "Lawyerish Settlementitus", Infects People Across America.

Health Alert, "Lawyerish Settlementitus", Infects People Across America.

A new malady has been sweeping across America. It seems that when ever someone in America is involved in any kind of accident, they develop a wide range of health problems. The American Health Society became aware of this rash of complaints when o...
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Funny story: Upside Down and Nowhere to Go

Upside Down and Nowhere to Go

The lovely Mrs. Claire and I are hanging upside down in our car. This is not a comfortable position - trust me. After I'm sure we've stopped moving, I ask her if she's ok, which is really the only thing that matters to me. She assures me that she is, and asks the same of me. After a few seconds of silence, I state what was probably obvious to her: "Honey, I am so glad you're ok. I think we're...
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Funny story: Man gets out of bed the wrong way

Man gets out of bed the wrong way

A Goole man with a broken nose was admitted to Humberside Hospital yesterday morning after getting out of bed the wrong way. Errol Dover, 58, who usually sleeps like a log, bashed his nose against the wall shortly after his alarm went off. "It...
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Funny story: New Mexico man shot during robbery, or by accident, or some damned how

New Mexico man shot during robbery, or by accident, or some damned how

SILVER CITY, New Mexico (ABSNN) - Oddly enough, given the large number of guns and ammunition stores found in a gun shop, very few people have ever been shot in one, unless, of course, "they had it coming." Such was the case in this tiny New Mexico...
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Funny story: Safety Officer Pinned To Wall By Runaway Forklift Truck

Safety Officer Pinned To Wall By Runaway Forklift Truck

The horrendous accident occurred at somewhere around nine am this morning in a warehouse on an industrial estate in Burnley, Lancashire, owned by Spoffco, a novelty greetings card company. Alert employees immediately called the emergency services...
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Funny story: Abba Tribute Act Injured Onstage

Abba Tribute Act Injured Onstage

A performer with the silent Abba tribute act 'Mime-A-Mia' was left pole axed on stage last night after he collided with a previous act's unfinished introductory joke. The joke, an aborted one liner known as the ' A Man Walked Into A Bar' gag, had bee...
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Funny story: Birmingham man gets a bum deal in 'accident' claim

Birmingham man gets a bum deal in 'accident' claim

Dennis Lakass was disappointed to receive only £5.99 in compensation after his recent accident. This claim for compensation started when he got a text saying "you may be entitled to £1500 for the accident you had." Mr. Lakass sent details of...
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Funny story: Dorking pensioner traps testicles during shower

Dorking pensioner traps testicles during shower

A pensioner had to be taken to hospital after they caught their testicles in a shower seat last week. Dorking fire crews were called out to the pensioner's house in Dorking on April 6th to help cut them free after getting their private parts trapp...
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Funny story: Anti-slippers are a must buy for the safety conscious

Anti-slippers are a must buy for the safety conscious

The Safety in the Home Instructional Task-force has produced its recommendations to cut down on accidents in the home. The main outcome of the five year study is that the slippers are to blame for just over half of all home based accidents. "In fi...
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Funny story: Leg breaks man's arm on icy pavement

Leg breaks man's arm on icy pavement

A Cardiff man, Ivor Duffboddy, suffered a bizarre injury last week when his right arm was broken by a 28-pound false leg. The accident happened on an icy pavement outside the General Infirmary. An outpatient, George Hopper, waiting for a check-up,...
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Only 38% of Americans Can Name the 3 Branches of US Government

Recent poll results indicate vast majority of US citizens dumber than ever before. Cyber addicted, they flock to the latest Apple phones, seeking to redouse themselves in brain-dead video apps. Ugh!!

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