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Funny story:  US Government Abstinence Education Program Eliminated

US Government Abstinence Education Program Eliminated

President Barack Obama announced today that he has eliminated former President Bush's Abstinence Only Education program and has begun a new "Getting Laid is Cool" program. "We will never eliminate the desire for sex", Obama stated during a news co...
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Funny story:  Abstinence Program Giving Chimps Blue Balls

Abstinence Program Giving Chimps Blue Balls

Seattle, Washington - A new government program designed to encourage abstinence among primates has spread the dreaded teenage ailment "Blue balls" to chimps. The World Wildlife Fund, the organization originally pushing for the program has now admitte...
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Funny story:  Abstinence Only Education program to be Eliminated

Abstinence Only Education program to be Eliminated

President Barack Obama announced today that he will eliminate former President Bush's Abstinence Only Education program and begin a new "Getting Laid is Cool" program. "We will never eliminate the desire for sex", Obama stated during a news confer...
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Funny story:  Congress Will Abstain from Abstinence Only: "Obama says: Fcuk Yeah!"

Congress Will Abstain from Abstinence Only: "Obama says: Fcuk Yeah!"

The Bush administration's health programs were often determined by the careful study of chicken entrails. It was this method that prompted the intelligent design educational initiatives, the CDC campaign to promote chicken soup as an AIDS preventativ...
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Funny story:  To Promote Abstinence, Bush Begins 'Just say NO to vagina' Campaign

To Promote Abstinence, Bush Begins 'Just say NO to vagina' Campaign

President Bush and his wife Laura announced today that the federal government will attempt to promote their Abstinence Only program and discourage teenage boys from having sex with a new $1.2 Billion 'Just say NO to vagina' advertising campai...
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Funny story:  Abstinence Programs Found to Have Little Effect!

Abstinence Programs Found to Have Little Effect!

Much to the suprise of Bush administration supporters of Abstinence only sex education, graduates of these programs have the same rate of premarital sex as students who never were exposed to Just Say No Sex Ed (JSNSE) .
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Funny story:  Purity Dances and Abstinence Balls Highlight of Just Say No Campaign

Purity Dances and Abstinence Balls Highlight of Just Say No Campaign

Fundamentalist Christians have begun a new movement to encourage young girls to wait until marriage before engaging in sexual contact. Called "abstinence balls" or "purity dances," these events end with the teenager signing a con...
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Funny story:  Bush Loses Chess Match to New Supercomputer

Bush Loses Chess Match to New Supercomputer

In a surprise turn of events today at the World Championship of Chess, President and Chess Master George W. Bush was defeated by IBM's newest super computer.
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True Facts From Snoops #1335

Snoops: The average number of toothpicks people swallow in their lifetime? Three. Mostly from laughing after dinner.

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