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Funny story: Arizona School Board May Burn Science Books

Arizona School Board May Burn Science Books

GILBERT, Ariz. - A biology textbook, widely used in the state, has come under attack by a suburban school board in Gilbert. The school board has voted to exise or redact two pages in the book -544 and 545 -because they discuss sexually transmitted d...
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Funny story: Anti Abortion Activists Express Outrage Over Aborted Landing At Barcelona Airport

Anti Abortion Activists Express Outrage Over Aborted Landing At Barcelona Airport

Washington D.C. - The Susan B. Anthony List (SBA List), an organization whose stated purpose is "Advancing Pro-Life Leadership", has released a strongly-worded statement condemning the recent aborted landing by a 767 jetliner at Barcelona's El Prat A...
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Funny story: U. S. Bureau of Land Management wants to convert horses into horsemeat

U. S. Bureau of Land Management wants to convert horses into horsemeat

Faced with a financial downturn and possible bankruptcy, the U. S. Bureau of Land Management, which manages not only land, but also wild horses, burros, rattlesnakes, jackrabbits, skunks, porcupines, armadillos, and a number of other "wildlife resour...
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Funny story: "Patrol Militia" Hunts Abortion Doctors In South

"Patrol Militia" Hunts Abortion Doctors In South

Meredith Calhoun, known also as "Pistol Packing Mama" of Rapides, LA held a news conference here along with J. Burnside, Elisha Worthington, Joseph A.S. Acklen, and others who are members of the so-called "Louisiana Patrol Militia." Some 16 men and...
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Funny story: Cardinal Baloney Addresses Abortion and Contraception

Cardinal Baloney Addresses Abortion and Contraception

Catholic clergy and institutions have responded to the ACLU lawsuit against the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops over denial of "proper health care." The case involves a catholic hospital in Muskegon, which turned away a pregnant mother...
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Funny story: Personhood USA Wants to Charge Mother Nature with Crimes Against Humanity

Personhood USA Wants to Charge Mother Nature with Crimes Against Humanity

ARVADA, CO-Personhood USA, the lobbying group that believes the rights of a five-day old blastocyst trump those of the mother carrying it, is calling for charging Mother Nature with crimes against humanity for the spontaneous abortions of millions of...
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Funny story: Conservative Science

Conservative Science

We expect science to build upon the past. Aristotle to Watson and Crick. Archimedes through Newton to Einstein, and beyond. Some vestigial artifacts seem to slip through time. A woman of my acquaintance, with a master's degree in education, refused to hang washing on her clothesline during pregnancy. She believed there was a danger of the umbilical cord wrapping around the neck of the fetus...
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Funny story: Texas Prohibits Pet Neutering

Texas Prohibits Pet Neutering

Austin, Tex. - On Friday, the Texas Senate passed one of the strictest anti-abortion measures in the country. Gov. Rick Perry is expected to sign the bill after a Democratic filibuster blocked its passage last month. Buried in the bill is a provision...
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Funny story: Texas Republicans: Storks Bring Babies

Texas Republicans: Storks Bring Babies

AUSTIN TX (AP) In addition to passing controversial abortion legislation, the Republican ruled Texas house of representatives added two new amendments just prior to the final vote. Learning from North Carolina, there was no debate. Both amendment...
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Funny story: World Records 2013: Texas Executes Its 500th Prisoner

World Records 2013: Texas Executes Its 500th Prisoner

On Wednesday, June 26, Texas executed death row inmate Kimberly McCarthy, making her the 500th prisoner Texas has executed since 1982, and allowing Texas now to enter the Book of World Records 2013 for the most people executed by a sovereign state in...
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Funny story: New Texas Abortion Law to Protect a "Gleam in Your Daddy's Eye"

New Texas Abortion Law to Protect a "Gleam in Your Daddy's Eye"

AUSTIN, Texas--The Majority Republican House today took up debate on a new abortion law, considered the strictest in the nation, which would protect even the intention of a man to father a child. The law, called the "Gleam in Your Daddy's Eye Bil...
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Funny story: Republicans Announce 'Women's Safety Act of 2013'

Republicans Announce 'Women's Safety Act of 2013'

WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP) Speaker of the House John Boehner,(R-Hooterville) addressed thousands of chilled but thrilled supporters of abortion prohibition who had gathered along the Mall in frigid weather to attend the annual "March for Life" protest Fri...
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Funny story: Fiscal Cliff turned into mountain of prosperity by Senate

Fiscal Cliff turned into mountain of prosperity by Senate

Washington, D.C. - Senate leaders leaked to this reporter, today, that a solution to the Baby Boomer Fiscal Cliff problem has been agreed to. The basic idea is very simple. Not enough young to take care of the old. It is the creative solution that...
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Funny story: Crazy science reveals more abortions leads to less homos

Crazy science reveals more abortions leads to less homos

There seems to be a direct link with the rate of abortions and the rate of homosexuality as explained by the ever controversial Dr. Kerksy. "Everything in this universe is a chemical reaction. We humans are just chemical reactions and we add to o...
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Funny story: Cardinal Seán Brady Asks Irish Catholics to Protest Abortion by Avoiding Eggs

Cardinal Seán Brady Asks Irish Catholics to Protest Abortion by Avoiding Eggs

Cardinal Seán Brady of Ireland has issued a statement urging Catholics to forgo the consumption of eggs on Fridays in an act of protest against the introduction of abortion in Ireland. According to the Cardinal, the consumed egg - whether boiled,...
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Funny story: Akin's rape delusions expose a 'Congress of Crazies'

Akin's rape delusions expose a 'Congress of Crazies'

Washington DC - Rep. Todd Akin's recent comments about rape and abortion indicate that he is better suited for long-term stay in a psychiatric ward than he is for a Senate seat. Specifically, he told a television interviewer that in cases of "legi...
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Funny story: A Bonny Embryo Marinade

A Bonny Embryo Marinade

Nutely, NJ - Today a new recipe for mangled embryo is sweeping the nation. According to cooking legend, Marda Stewfart, the dish has both the most exquisite taste and presentation of any known to man. According to Stewfart, this dish was invente...
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Funny story: Pro-Life Campaigners Extend Protection to the Unborn Post-Eucharistic Stool!

Pro-Life Campaigners Extend Protection to the Unborn Post-Eucharistic Stool!

Leading pro-life groups have extended their anti-abortion campaign to post-Eucharistic stools. According to the pro-lifers, it is a "blasphemous, anti-life abomination" to empty one's bowels within 48 hours of consuming the body of Christ during reli...
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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