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Funny story:  "Patrol Militia" Hunts Abortion Doctors In South

"Patrol Militia" Hunts Abortion Doctors In South

Meredith Calhoun, known also as "Pistol Packing Mama" of Rapides, LA held a news conference here along with J. Burnside, Elisha Worthington, Joseph A.S. Acklen, and others who are members of the so-called "Louisiana Patrol Militia." Some 16 men and...
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Funny story:  Cardinal Baloney Addresses Abortion and Contraception

Cardinal Baloney Addresses Abortion and Contraception

Catholic clergy and institutions have responded to the ACLU lawsuit against the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops over denial of "proper health care." The case involves a catholic hospital in Muskegon, which turned away a pregnant mother...
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Funny story:  Personhood USA Wants to Charge Mother Nature with Crimes Against Humanity

Personhood USA Wants to Charge Mother Nature with Crimes Against Humanity

ARVADA, CO-Personhood USA, the lobbying group that believes the rights of a five-day old blastocyst trump those of the mother carrying it, is calling for charging Mother Nature with crimes against humanity for the spontaneous abortions of millions of...
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Funny story:  Conservative Science

Conservative Science

We expect science to build upon the past. Aristotle to Watson and Crick. Archimedes through Newton to Einstein, and beyond. Some vestigial artifacts seem to slip through time. A woman of my acquaintance, with a master's degree in education, refused to hang washing on her clothesline during pregnancy. She believed there was a danger of the umbilical cord wrapping around the neck of the fetus...
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Funny story:  Texas Prohibits Pet Neutering

Texas Prohibits Pet Neutering

Austin, Tex. - On Friday, the Texas Senate passed one of the strictest anti-abortion measures in the country. Gov. Rick Perry is expected to sign the bill after a Democratic filibuster blocked its passage last month. Buried in the bill is a provision...
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Funny story:  Texas Republicans: Storks Bring Babies

Texas Republicans: Storks Bring Babies

AUSTIN TX (AP) In addition to passing controversial abortion legislation, the Republican ruled Texas house of representatives added two new amendments just prior to the final vote. Learning from North Carolina, there was no debate. Both amendment...
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Funny story:  World Records 2013:  Texas Executes Its 500th Prisoner

World Records 2013: Texas Executes Its 500th Prisoner

On Wednesday, June 26, Texas executed death row inmate Kimberly McCarthy, making her the 500th prisoner Texas has executed since 1982, and allowing Texas now to enter the Book of World Records 2013 for the most people executed by a sovereign state in...
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Funny story:  New Texas Abortion Law to Protect  a "Gleam in Your Daddy's Eye"

New Texas Abortion Law to Protect a "Gleam in Your Daddy's Eye"

AUSTIN, Texas--The Majority Republican House today took up debate on a new abortion law, considered the strictest in the nation, which would protect even the intention of a man to father a child. The law, called the "Gleam in Your Daddy's Eye Bil...
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Funny story:  Republicans Announce 'Women's Safety Act of 2013'

Republicans Announce 'Women's Safety Act of 2013'

WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP) Speaker of the House John Boehner,(R-Hooterville) addressed thousands of chilled but thrilled supporters of abortion prohibition who had gathered along the Mall in frigid weather to attend the annual "March for Life" protest Fri...
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Funny story:  Fiscal Cliff turned into mountain of prosperity by Senate

Fiscal Cliff turned into mountain of prosperity by Senate

Washington, D.C. - Senate leaders leaked to this reporter, today, that a solution to the Baby Boomer Fiscal Cliff problem has been agreed to. The basic idea is very simple. Not enough young to take care of the old. It is the creative solution that...
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Funny story:  Crazy science reveals more abortions leads to less homos

Crazy science reveals more abortions leads to less homos

There seems to be a direct link with the rate of abortions and the rate of homosexuality as explained by the ever controversial Dr. Kerksy. "Everything in this universe is a chemical reaction. We humans are just chemical reactions and we add to o...
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Funny story:  Cardinal Seán Brady Asks Irish Catholics to Protest Abortion by Avoiding Eggs

Cardinal Seán Brady Asks Irish Catholics to Protest Abortion by Avoiding Eggs

Cardinal Seán Brady of Ireland has issued a statement urging Catholics to forgo the consumption of eggs on Fridays in an act of protest against the introduction of abortion in Ireland. According to the Cardinal, the consumed egg - whether boiled,...
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Funny story:  Akin's rape delusions expose a 'Congress of Crazies'

Akin's rape delusions expose a 'Congress of Crazies'

Washington DC - Rep. Todd Akin's recent comments about rape and abortion indicate that he is better suited for long-term stay in a psychiatric ward than he is for a Senate seat. Specifically, he told a television interviewer that in cases of "legi...
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Funny story:  A Bonny Embryo Marinade

A Bonny Embryo Marinade

Nutely, NJ - Today a new recipe for mangled embryo is sweeping the nation. According to cooking legend, Marda Stewfart, the dish has both the most exquisite taste and presentation of any known to man. According to Stewfart, this dish was invente...
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Funny story:  Pro-Life Campaigners Extend Protection to the Unborn Post-Eucharistic Stool!

Pro-Life Campaigners Extend Protection to the Unborn Post-Eucharistic Stool!

Leading pro-life groups have extended their anti-abortion campaign to post-Eucharistic stools. According to the pro-lifers, it is a "blasphemous, anti-life abomination" to empty one's bowels within 48 hours of consuming the body of Christ during reli...
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Funny story:  State Representative Banned for Saying "A***e"

State Representative Banned for Saying "A***e"

Liza Grey, State Representative for Michigan, was banned from speaking in the House of Representatives for saying the word "a***e" during a recent speech to the House. The word was used as the anatomically correct way to describe the part of the...
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Funny story:  Aborted baby: No big deal

Aborted baby: No big deal

Shanghai, China (SAPP) - Using a new technology developed in Huashan Hospital in Shanghai, China, researchers have shown conclusively that fetuses prefer abortion. After studying 3,666 fetuses, Dr. Tan Jun and fellow doctors in the abortion department of Huashan Hospital concluded that over 91% of them preferred abortion. During the grueling research, Dr. Tan and his team of experts designed a...
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Funny story:  Planned Parenthood Acquires Chick-fil-A Chain -- Offers Drive Thru Abortions on Sundays.

Planned Parenthood Acquires Chick-fil-A Chain -- Offers Drive Thru Abortions on Sundays.

WASHINGTON D.C. (AP) In a press release issued yesterday, Planned Parenthood announced that it had purchased the Cick-fil-A corporation and would soon begin utilizing locations that are normally closed on Sunday to offer drive through abortions inste...
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True Facts From Snoops #1335

Snoops: The average number of toothpicks people swallow in their lifetime? Three. Mostly from laughing after dinner.

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