Scranton, PA resident Kimberly Ellison plans to age gracefully.
"I've decided I'm not going to wear makeup or anything when I get older," said Ellison, who turned 24 last month and who once had to google the unfamiliar term, 'crows-feet'. "I ju...
As the parched land threatens to engulf Britain into a drought to beat all drought, the Government has received help from the Young People of Britain.
Their leader Joe Smelly (16) has pledged not to wash until the crisis is over. Young people in d...
Teens nowadays are looking more and more toward idiocy as a viable career choice.
"It's like those reality shows" stated one teen who only referred to himself as "The Retention." "You can't be smart and be on those, yet look at the money those pe...
Relative calm was restored to the streets and dark alleys of London last night following the Reichstag-like fires across the Nation's capital just twenty-four hours earlier.
Prime Minister David Cameron's made a cunning ploy to forewarn Monday ni...
In a bold move, the Conservative Liberal alliance has moved to make the wearing of so-called Hoodies compulsory for anybody under the age of seventeen.
The fashion accessory has become de rigueur among boys, and, increasingly, girls. It is often a...
Over 2,000 Spanish youths staged an overnight protest in Madrid against high unemployment.
A number of political commentators have compared the nature of the protest to that of the pro-democracy rallies that galvanised Egypt.
Certainly, many o...
BIRMINGHAM - A teenager - those evil youths - was found to be helping within his community today.
Rob Smith, 15, who is a teenager, and therefore a baby-eating monster - was helping an old lady across the road.
"He came up to me," recalled Dais...
TV star and Ghurka champion, Joanna Lumley, is to call in her mates in the Nepalese brigade to improve the nation's youth.
Having battled for the rights of former Ghurkas to settle in the UK, the actress has turned her guns on the current youth ge...
Newby mayor, Arthur Askme (yes he is STILL in office - he's barricaded himself into his office after hearing news that the villagers want to replace him), Isle of Wight, has invited three of the most devoted Spoof writers to speak to the youth of the...
Bye Bye Youth
(Sung to Bye Bye Love)
Yet another oldie to tap your toes to, whether you're rockin' to the oldies in your favorite rockin' chair or buzzin' past the nurses in your brand spankin' new mobility scooter. Who better to parody than the Everly Brothers, who are still alive to sing along to this one.
Bye bye youth,
Bye bye agility,
Hello senility,
I think I'm a gonna cry-y.
By...
Police are conducting a city wide search for a group of youths who callously left a pal hanging in a busy street, last Thursday evening, while out on the town drinking.
Reports suggest the group were out celebrating a work related job promotion, f...
The United Kingdom Library Association's annual gathering was 'utterly ruined' says their President, Lynnette Nanook, 68.
Nanook, who has been President for over 25 years, told us she has never seen such behaviour at a UKLA event in all her days.
As if life on the streets was not bad enough these days, we have learned of a frightening new trend which is being adopted by gangs of yobs and hoodies, the length and breadth of the country.
First there was 'mugging', then 'joy-riding'. More rece...
LONDON, England - According to Mr. Remington of London, a new anti-knife campaign including posters, tele and online adverts, music videos, and strippers is warning youth against using or even carrying knives.
This rouge task force of young anti-k...
We all look back on our youth through rose-tinted spectacles, remembering our naive wide-eyed innocence and conveniently forgetting how we bullied other youths; weaker, uglier and less popular youths - often demanding money and cutting their faces with a scalpel if they didn't reciprocate, or a few days spent in the 'hot-box of hell' to give them time to think about it. They always paid up.
Yes...
78 year old method actor Gary Coleman is to auction the secrets to eternal youth to the highest bidder.
The 80's superstar has fallen on hard times after investing the last of his royalty cheques from his show 'Different Strokes' in the stricken A...
This week, President Bush announced a new policy for his remaining months in office.
Say goodbye to lonely nights. Say hello to a hot sex life!...