In a move which some in the footballing world have called "petty", the English Football Association has decided to retract its earlier bid to stage the 2018 World Cup finals on the grounds that the decision has been fixed in favour of 'any other coun...
In an amazing turn of events, Russia, who will be the hosts of the World Cup in 2018, will be the overall winners. It has yet to be decided who the losing finalists will be.
FIFA have announced that the competition is not a fix, and that Russia wi...
MURDEROUS, semi-literate rage was building amongst English football fans last night as it emerged that the Football Association had played the film "Green Street" as part of their unsuccessful pitch to win the right to host the 2018 World Cup.
De...
Cyberspace - (Sore Ass Mess): Knees, elbows and other joints feature prominently in the soft-focus, hard core shots.
Today's online publication saw the Palace mount a furious rearguard action defending William's bigamous offer.
The princelet re...
Alastair Campbell has sensationally accused FIFA of inserting the 45-minute claim into what later became known as the 'dodgy dossier' that went on to form the British governments case for war with Iraq in 2003.
The document, 'Iraq: Its Infrastruct...
London - (Spy-Who-Gagged-Me Mess): Pals of blonde, blue-eyed Katia Zatuliveter reckon she's a sacrificial lamb for England's World Cup 2018 slaughter.
The 35CC-23-34 beauty faces extradition to Bloodyvostock in a tit (sic) for tat spat with Russia...
For those football fans planning ahead to 2018 - which we ALL know by now is to be staged in Russia, choose your airlines wisely.
This just in:
The Dagestan Airlines Tupolev airliner carrying more than 160 people overshot the runway after landing at Domodedovo airport outside Moscow, with all three engines dead.
More than 50 people were injured in the accident as the plane fell apart.
In a sensational move, which is sure to have seismic and seminal repercussions throughout the worlds of soccer and popular song, it has been announced from Bungenspiel Castle, the Bavarian Headquarters of the Eurovision Reichskommissariat, that the c...
MURDEROUS, semi-literate rage was building amongst English football fans last night as it emerged that the Football Association had played the film "Green Street" as part of their unsuccessful pitch to win the right to host the 2018 World Cup.
Det...
FIFA has been sent into meltdown tonight as it has been revealed that their president, Sepp Blatter, is in fact a high class female prostitute. The shock revelation was discovered in the fall out of the 2018 and 2022 World Cup bidding announcement i...
The Russians are airing a recent video of a drunken, hallucinating squirrel, apparently celebrating Russia's bid to host the 2018 World Cup.
The squirrel has bulging eyes and is staggering about mumbling incoherently in Russian. It cannot be conf...
London - (Balls-up Mess): Bollox PR of three shameless self-publicists is what did it.
A cyber postmortem says today the footie world just can't get it up for the Tosspot Trio.
Wannabe legends Cameron, Beckham and Wee Willy Windsor barely rais...
According to Wikileaks, England could have had three votes in the World Cup selection, however, Wikileaks reveals that there was only two bids, with England's bid going to Spain and Portugal instead of England.
"We're lucky we got one," said David...
As the terrible news that England's 2018 World Cup bid had failed started to sink in this morning, the Wikileaks website announced that the reason behind the snub was that FIFA officials believe that Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney...
London - (Nuptial Tosspots): You can blame Clarence House tosspots for this one - or whoever else picked the 65th anniversary of Hitler's Berlin bunker wedding to Eva Braun as next year's Wills and Kate nuptials.
That's the message from Zurich ton...
Zurich - (Offside Mess): Kate Middleton strippergram videos were being touted all over Zurich today in a last-gasp bid to secure the tournament.
But some ugly rumors claimed FIFA officials would have preferred Beckham/Cameron/Prince William three...
Germany - (Tentacles): An autopsy result on the prescient cephalopod says he may not have died from natural causes.
Alien pathologist Ray Santili found evidence that Paul's last prediction 'saw him pick Russia' as the successful 2018 World Cup bid...
Switzerland - (Gnomes Of Zurich Mess): The tosspot trio landed in Cloud Cuckooclock Land today ahead of the 2018 World Cup announcement.
Billed as 'England's Finest!' their schmooze of bribery-accused FIFA officials promises discreet - and Wiki...