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Putin denies Soccer World Cup to be played in Russia

In breaking news, the Kremlin has denied reports that the soccer World Cup will be staged in Russia in June this year. Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Laughitoff, speaking from the Kremlin Nerve Agent Denial Directorate, commented "We reject this...

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Forward passing banned by FIFA

Funny story: Forward passing banned by FIFA

They've gone ahead and done it. After fewer and fewer examples of the ball actually being kicked up the pitch towards the opponent's goal in the latest Euro 2016 Championships, FIFA have taken the bull by the horns and banned all forward passing...

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Don Blatter denies he's the Godfather

Swiss Authorities today announced a criminal investigation into corrupt actvities by Sepp Blatter (known variously as 'The Don', "'Sepp The Tongue'and 'Sepptic'",  the President of world soccer governing body FIFA. From his heavily fortified famil...

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England Retract 2018 World Cup Bid

Funny story: England Retract 2018 World Cup Bid

In a move which some in the footballing world have called "petty", the English Football Association has decided to retract its earlier bid to stage the 2018 World Cup finals on the grounds that the decision has been fixed in favour of 'any other coun...

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Russia Wins the World Cup in 2018

Funny story: Russia Wins the World Cup in 2018

In an amazing turn of events, Russia, who will be the hosts of the World Cup in 2018, will be the overall winners. It has yet to be decided who the losing finalists will be. FIFA have announced that the competition is not a fix, and that Russia wi...

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Fury after revealed that FA exhibited "Green Street" to FIFA in World Cup bidding process

MURDEROUS, semi-literate rage was building amongst English football fans last night as it emerged that the Football Association had played the film "Green Street" as part of their unsuccessful pitch to win the right to host the 2018 World Cup. De...

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Prince William's FIFA carpet burns pics posted online

Funny story: Prince William's FIFA carpet burns pics posted online

Cyberspace - (Sore Ass Mess): Knees, elbows and other joints feature prominently in the soft-focus, hard core shots. Today's online publication saw the Palace mount a furious rearguard action defending William's bigamous offer. The princelet re...

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'FIFA inserted 45-minute claim into dodgy dossier' - Campbell

Funny story: 'FIFA inserted 45-minute claim into dodgy dossier' - Campbell

Alastair Campbell has sensationally accused FIFA of inserting the 45-minute claim into what later became known as the 'dodgy dossier' that went on to form the British governments case for war with Iraq in 2003. The document, 'Iraq: Its Infrastruct...

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Accused Russian spy Katia Zatuliveter 'a scapegoat for England world cup flop'

Funny story: Accused Russian spy Katia Zatuliveter 'a scapegoat for England world cup flop'

London - (Spy-Who-Gagged-Me Mess): Pals of blonde, blue-eyed Katia Zatuliveter reckon she's a sacrificial lamb for England's World Cup 2018 slaughter. The 35CC-23-34 beauty faces extradition to Bloodyvostock in a tit (sic) for tat spat with Russia...

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Russian planes not the best. . .choose your airline with care

Funny story: Russian planes not the best. . .choose your airline with care

For those football fans planning ahead to 2018 - which we ALL know by now is to be staged in Russia, choose your airlines wisely. This just in: The Dagestan Airlines Tupolev airliner carrying more than 160 people overshot the runway after landing at Domodedovo airport outside Moscow, with all three engines dead. More than 50 people were injured in the accident as the plane fell apart.

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FIFA To Judge Eurovision Song Contest

Funny story: FIFA To Judge Eurovision Song Contest

In a sensational move, which is sure to have seismic and seminal repercussions throughout the worlds of soccer and popular song, it has been announced from Bungenspiel Castle, the Bavarian Headquarters of the Eurovision Reichskommissariat, that the c...

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Fury after revealed that FA exhibited "Green Street" to FIFA in World cup bidding process

MURDEROUS, semi-literate rage was building amongst English football fans last night as it emerged that the Football Association had played the film "Green Street" as part of their unsuccessful pitch to win the right to host the 2018 World Cup. Det...

Read full story View 'Fury after revealed that FA exhibited "Green Street" to FIFA in World cup bidding process'

Sepp Blatter Revealed To Be High Class Hooker

FIFA has been sent into meltdown tonight as it has been revealed that their president, Sepp Blatter, is in fact a high class female prostitute. The shock revelation was discovered in the fall out of the 2018 and 2022 World Cup bidding announcement i...

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Russians air video of drunken, hallucinating squirrel, celebrating Russia's winning bid to host 2018 World Cup

Funny story: Russians air video of drunken, hallucinating squirrel, celebrating Russia's winning bid to host 2018 World Cup

The Russians are airing a recent video of a drunken, hallucinating squirrel, apparently celebrating Russia's bid to host the 2018 World Cup. The squirrel has bulging eyes and is staggering about mumbling incoherently in Russian. It cannot be conf...

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Don't blame Putin corruption for England 2018 crap bid

Funny story: Don't blame Putin corruption for England 2018 crap bid

London - (Balls-up Mess): Bollox PR of three shameless self-publicists is what did it. A cyber postmortem says today the footie world just can't get it up for the Tosspot Trio. Wannabe legends Cameron, Beckham and Wee Willy Windsor barely rais...

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Wikileaks reveals who voted for English World Cup bid

Funny story: Wikileaks reveals who voted for English World Cup bid

According to Wikileaks, England could have had three votes in the World Cup selection, however, Wikileaks reveals that there was only two bids, with England's bid going to Spain and Portugal instead of England. "We're lucky we got one," said David...

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Wikileaks Reveal That England World Cup Bid Failed Because Wayne Rooney Is A Bad Example To Young Players

Funny story: Wikileaks Reveal That England World Cup Bid Failed Because Wayne Rooney Is A Bad Example To Young Players

As the terrible news that England's 2018 World Cup bid had failed started to sink in this morning, the Wikileaks website announced that the reason behind the snub was that FIFA officials believe that Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney...

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Royal Wedding overkill blamed for England 2018 flop

Funny story: Royal Wedding overkill blamed for England 2018 flop

London - (Nuptial Tosspots): You can blame Clarence House tosspots for this one - or whoever else picked the 65th anniversary of Hitler's Berlin bunker wedding to Eva Braun as next year's Wills and Kate nuptials. That's the message from Zurich ton...

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Breaking news…

Wallis Simpson And Meghan Markle

Somewhere in heaven, Wallis Simpson is smiling and applauding Meghan Markle’s wedding to Prince Harry: an American, an actress and a divorcee. Wow! Everything else is just sparkle. Smart guy, Harry.
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