Dear Constituents
I have had a very busy week trying to find reasons not to stay in the house. This is partly due to trying to avoid my wife who is constantly asking when we intend to go and visit her mother in Macclesfield.
Apparently (quote): "September is nearly on us, autumn is around the corner, the schools will be going back, half term will soon be upon us, Guy Fawkes night is waitin...
Wikileaks boss and wannabe lothario, Julian Assange, is believed to be going stir crazy, as he has now been holed up in the Ecuadorian embassy for over two months.
Embassy sources claim Assange's mood has darkened further since he was granted asyl...
Julian Assange, Wikileaks founder, currently camped at the Ecuadorian Embassy with locked in syndrome has been granted the right to die in a complex decision by The European Commission.
The British Government has decided to help Assange in his que...
WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange is planning to quit his refuge in the Ecuadorean embassy in London after accusing officials there of reading his emails.
Assange, who ran screaming into the embassy in June claiming asylum in a bid to avoid ext...
Our intrepid reporter has just phoned in his latest report, telling us that the well known geriatric crooner Wankadink Humpanoldbag actually died eight months ago. Apparently what we see is an excellent Japanese robotic clone, inch perfect. The voice is masterful and undistinguishable from the real thing, even down to the occasional gasping croak,which one would expect from such an aged person.
STOCKHOLM - WikiLeaks has begun releasing what it claims are 2.5 million embarrassing emails to and from the Syrian government. It is believed that at least 2.4 million of these emails contain hardcore pornography.
A spokesperson realeased a state...
Horace Mann of suburban Newberg has completed his purchase of all 26 volumes of Wikipedia including unlimited addenda and a promised Wikipedia Annual to be sent to him each year for the next five years on the anniversary of the purchase date.
Mr.
Washington DC - The Bush Administration will go down in history as the "Prankster Presidency," according to revelations made in a classified chapter of former Vice President Dick Cheney's recently published memoirs.
The top-secret material, which...
WORLDWIDE - The Worldwide Institute of Deludeds Exposing Conspiracies, Uniting Nationally and Trekkies (WIDECUNTs) has issued a formal statement calling for the impeachment of Wikileaks found Julian Assange for crimes against their community.
"All...
Danger Mouse, the unflappable cartoon secret agent rodent, friend of Penfold and enemy of Baron Greenback has had his middle name revealed by WikiLeaks.
The most remarkable aspect of the revelation is not that Danger Mouse has a middle name, a lot...
A previously unknown Agatha Christie manuscript was uncovered on Wikileaks by a graduate student at Whatsa Matta University, which is also, known as Whatsa Matta U. The manuscript is titled: Murder in a Hovel.
Unlike most of her mystery novels which take place in settings of wealth and prestige, this one takes place in a one room hovel that is located in a fishing village along the North Sea.
A source within the secret service is reporting today that just before dawn an armed Congressional Team from the House Ethics Committee (HEC), swooped in on the White House and confiscated President Obama's Blackberry under a Federal Seizure Fatwa pa...
With only three days to go until the royal wedding, Wikileaks have released full details of Kate Middleton's dress. The dress was to be kept secret, but a naughty tailor at Buckingham Palace is said to have sold the design to internet whistle-blowers...
Following startling speculation backed by photographic evidence of a massive scar on President Obama's scalp that he had 'massive brain surgery,' the White House refuses to confirm or deny Obama is on medication to compensate for operating with only...
SHERMAN OAKS, California - Charlie Sheen who up until recently was making an unbelievable $1.8 million a week for really doing nothing more than simply acting like himself on the hit comedy Two and A Half Men has made a big business announcement.
Charles The Warlock from the Planet Winus has informed his maid, identified only as "Cuddles" that he is in negotiations to purchase Wikileaks.
Cu...
Wikileaks founder Julian Assange was excused earlier today after being found guilty of treason.
Assange had been extradited to Sweden where he faced two charges of rape whereupon U.S. officials swiftly had him further extradited to the United Sta...
The US has briefed a number of foreign governments, including the UK, about the possible release of more diplomatic files by whistleblower site Wikileaks.
The state department said the release of diplomatic cables would "create tension" between US...
The Top Secret Pint Sized Leader (PSL) Project has been overshadowed by the Stuxnet computer worm performing a successful cyber attack on Iran's nuclear development capabilities.
The PSL Project was initiated in 2005, at a hidden multinational lab...