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Funny story: Wiccans set for Vatican parity at the UN

Wiccans set for Vatican parity at the UN

New York - Accredited observer status at the UN General Assembly has been awarded to the Organisation of International Wicca in a move granting parity with the Roamin Catlick church. Five permanent representatives will be sitting in the world's p...
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Funny story: Vegan Wiccan US Army chaplain's joy as Pentagon relaxes religious beards ban

Vegan Wiccan US Army chaplain's joy as Pentagon relaxes religious beards ban

Washington AC/DC - A meat eschewing pagan US Army chaplain is feeling mighty pleased today after the Pentagon finally backed down over a ban on religious beards in the military following 100 years of clean shaven tradition. "Praise be to Isis, mot...
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Funny story: First visual of the Christmas Comet scheduled for pagan New Year's Eve

First visual of the Christmas Comet scheduled for pagan New Year's Eve

San Ramon, California - Wiccans, eat yer hearts out: this year's Halloween celebrations should see the first glimpse of the astonishingly beautiful Comet Ison as it heads towards its debut transit of Planet Earth. Already dubbed the Christmas Com...
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Funny story: Wiccan scorn as David Cameron boasts of baking bread made from 'smart' crop circle wheat flour

Wiccan scorn as David Cameron boasts of baking bread made from 'smart' crop circle wheat flour

Los Angeles - A statement from the Supreme World Wiccan Council HQ has condemned UK leader David Cameron's suggestion that his home baked bread recipe has made him 'more intelligent'. The Brit Prime Minister has said he bakes his own daily loaves...
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Funny story: Armageddinouttahere! Wiccans rubbish Mayan calendar prophecy exodus

Armageddinouttahere! Wiccans rubbish Mayan calendar prophecy exodus

Stonehenge, Wilts - A British coven based near the prehysteric monument of Stonehenge has tipped off the press about the government's Doomsday plans for members of the Cabinet and the royal family. "They're all legging it to a nuke-proof 'austeri...
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Funny story: Romney says Obama used Wiccans to cause Hurricane Sandy!

Romney says Obama used Wiccans to cause Hurricane Sandy!

STUBENVILLE, Ohio (ABSNN) - Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney responded to the devastation left in the wake of Hurricane Sandy by passing out emergency relief supplies in this mid-sized Ohio city today. Romney praised 47% of the American...
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Funny story: Wiccans warn Barack about Friday's Blue Fool Moon

Wiccans warn Barack about Friday's Blue Fool Moon

New York - The Carnegie Hill chapter of Filthy Rich Pagans Anonymous is right up Barry's ass over Friday's lunation according to a new hex-messaging service launched today. A rare and stunning second August Full Moon lights up the heavens in that...
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Funny story: Gingrich Attacked by Wiccans Seeking Eye of Newt

Gingrich Attacked by Wiccans Seeking Eye of Newt

Late last night while taking his regular "constitutional" (Gingrich's preferred term for his nightly moonlight strolls through the woods, the moniker he feels best demonstrates his passionate commitment to the civil rights propagated by our Founding...
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Funny story: Rotating Brownout Interrupts Wiccan Full Moon Esbat

Rotating Brownout Interrupts Wiccan Full Moon Esbat

DESPICABLE, ME (Wiccan Broadcasting Network) -- The indoor full moon celebration of Isis Mighty Mother Coven last March 8 was interrupted by a scheduled rotating brownout. It was at 7:30 PM when the power shut off after the circle was cast, the gu...
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Funny story: Wiccan joy as Pentagon builds $80,000 Stonehenge replica at USAF training academy

Wiccan joy as Pentagon builds $80,000 Stonehenge replica at USAF training academy

Colorado Springs - "Silly excuse for naked revelry around a bonfire during the full moon!" is how one scornful US general put it as news of the Pentagon funding broke this week. However for the US military's motley crew of wiccans, pagans and asso...
View 'Wiccan joy as Pentagon builds $80,000 Stonehenge replica at USAF training academy'
Funny story: EU Trick Or Treaty? Pagan Feast Of Samhain Spells Death Of The Euro

EU Trick Or Treaty? Pagan Feast Of Samhain Spells Death Of The Euro

London - Astrologers are confident next Monday's feast of Halloween will see the final collapse of the long-running KGB ponzi scam of the Euro. Some reckon a trillion dollar EU bailout attempt is horribly tainted by bad karma going all the way bac...
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Funny story: Ancient Egyptian winged disc dazzles across the London skyline

Ancient Egyptian winged disc dazzles across the London skyline

London - A silvery sliver of a cirrus cloud filament complete with feathery down-arching end curls blazed a trail at sunset tonight across the waxing Harvest Moon. The dazzling spectacle exactly mirrored the ancient Egyptian Book of the Dead's Win...
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Funny story: Wiccan scorn as Pope JP II saint-making machine cranks up for Feast of Beltane

Wiccan scorn as Pope JP II saint-making machine cranks up for Feast of Beltane

Rome - The Vatican has hijacked Sunday's pagan New Year's Day to beatify a monster exhumed in a public freakshow. United Grand Coven sources said today veneration of the six year-old corpse - and a 'sacred' vile (sic) of his blood - is typical of...
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Funny story: One Nation Under Hex: Wiccans publish alternative history of the US Presidency

One Nation Under Hex: Wiccans publish alternative history of the US Presidency

New York - It's been dubbed Michelle Obama's master grimoire of ovulation rites for dummies - 'something that ex-First Daughter Chelsea Clinton-Lewinsky-Mezvinsky could sorely use right now!' The first print run hit NYC bookstores this morning and...
View 'One Nation Under Hex: Wiccans publish alternative history of the US Presidency'
Funny story: Obama Administration Hires Two Witches To Stop Oil Gusher

Obama Administration Hires Two Witches To Stop Oil Gusher

New Orleans, LA-- The Obama administration is completely out of ideas about how to stop the oil gusher in the Gulf of Mexico. Someone suggested that witches using White Magick might be used to stop the dreadful oil volcano and heal the sickly Gulf o...
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Funny story: Wiccan fears Queen won't survive Walpurgisnacht revelry

Wiccan fears Queen won't survive Walpurgisnacht revelry

London - (Portents): Her father's bejewelled swastika flag is already draped over a gold-plated coffin of black locustwood, hewn from Regensburg Castle's ariosophic forest. Tonight, the Windsor chapter of Hellfire Anonymous is on emergency standby...
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Funny story: Kristen Stewart will be crowned May Queen at Walpurgis Night rave

Kristen Stewart will be crowned May Queen at Walpurgis Night rave

London - (Maypole): The countdown to Saturday's Pagan New Year's Day sees the Twilight star invited to a Walpurgis Night rave high up on London's Hampstead Heath. Not to be outdone by Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Cordelia Chase being crowned May Que...
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Funny story: Wiccans warn of Monday's winter solstice shocker

Wiccans warn of Monday's winter solstice shocker

The Cosmos - (Armageddinouttahere!): Wiccas' harshest equivalent of a Federal Emergency Management Agency executive order was issued today. The astrology warning by the Global Sabbath Council says Monday's Yuletide solstice will will be a monster.
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Breaking News...

Wi-Fi signal named "Al-Qaeda Free Terror Network" Results In Long Delay For Passengers At Los Angeles Airport

'Our networks are usually named as variations on: 'Moms apple pie - God Bless America,' confirmed an Al-Qaeda spokesman. 'Otherwise it would be a bit f***ing obvious.'
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