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Funny story: Melania Planning First White House Garden And Fitness Program

Melania Planning First White House Garden And Fitness Program

Trump Tower, NYC - Melania is telling her new aids that not only does she want to help all of the ugly people of the U.S., but that she's also planning the very first White House garden. A nice place where fat kids can come over and they can all eat...
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Funny story: Tiffany And Barron Mad At President-Elect Trump

Tiffany And Barron Mad At President-Elect Trump

Donald Trump's primary daughter, Ivanka, has been tapped for role on the president-elect's White House transition team, joining Trump's main son, Donald, Jr., and his third-favorite son, Eric. Trump's other daughter, Tiffany, the only child from his...
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Funny story: Melania Trump calls White House "A Dump"

Melania Trump calls White House "A Dump"

New York, NY - Melania Trump returned from her visit at the White House residence and called her new home "a dump." She refused to speak with her husband, President-elect Donald J. Trump, for the entire helicopter ride home, and resorted to silent t...
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Funny story: New First Lady Melania Trump Announces Decorating Plans!

New First Lady Melania Trump Announces Decorating Plans!

First Lady-to-be Melania Trump outlined her plans for the White House in a press conference from Trump Tower. The Mr. President-Elect Trump's First Lady, Melania, has been picking out gold draperies, and gold furniture for the Red Room of the White House. When asked why she would change the color of the Red Room to gold, Melania just laughed and said "But darling! Don't you see, gold trumps...
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton To Make Direct Appeal To Less-Educated, White, Male Voters

Hillary Clinton To Make Direct Appeal To Less-Educated, White, Male Voters

In the final run-up to the US presidential elections, Hillary Clinton is hoping to ensure victory by winning-over the one demographic group that Donald Trump has yet failed to insult or alienate. That group consists of white American men without a...
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Funny story: Trump Measures Up Front Of White House For Big 'Uge' Sign

Trump Measures Up Front Of White House For Big 'Uge' Sign

Washington, D.C. - With his Republican Presidential ticket all ready pretty much punched, a self-assured Donald Trump and an elite team of 'big sign' installation experts made a quick trip down to the White House in Trump-Force One this week, to meas...
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Funny story: Trump Will Make the Space Shuttle Air Force One

Trump Will Make the Space Shuttle Air Force One

New York, NY Donald Trump announced some of the changes he will make when he becomes President of the United States. "For starters, I will be replacing Air Force One. My own plane is much nicer so I think the only comparable thing the government h...
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Funny story: It's Trump's Charisma, Stupid

It's Trump's Charisma, Stupid

Yes, it's his charisma! Donald Trump has charisma. At the last debate, Donald Trump stood masterfully like an elephant between a Chihuahua and the Canadian Mr. Sleaze. Editor's note: Isn't Canadian Mr. Sleaze an oxymoron? Looks more like an ep...
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Funny story: Zimmer Framing to the White House

Zimmer Framing to the White House

Now that senior citizens are running - or rather, pushing - for the White House with force, architects are preparing the President's Office for the possible arrival of septuagenarians in November. Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders are...
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Funny story: Barack Demonstrates Why he is President

Barack Demonstrates Why he is President

Washington Post: Washington. President Barack Obama today took the podium during a philosophical debate at Boston University. In a speech prepared by his advisers the President 'showed' awesome knowledge of Oriental and Western philosophy until h...
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Funny story: Freedom at Last for Americans

Freedom at Last for Americans

Extra Legislation to Protect 'Freedom'. Washington: Congress has passed new bills under instructions from Emperor Barack Obama to protect what he calls "citizens' inviolable freedoms". What does it mean? Well,... as a reward for giving up on their Freedom of Speech upon which America's 'democracy' is founded, American sheeple can now have their innate freedoms legally protected. They are...
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Funny story: Secret Legislative Action Regarding Firecracker Purchases

Secret Legislative Action Regarding Firecracker Purchases

The American government has just taken another step in the fight to identify homegrown terrorists. In the wake of such events as the Charleston Shootings, the lawmakers on Capitol Hill have taken another step to fighting this growing epidemic. In...
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Funny story: It's a bird, it's a plane, no, it's a 61-year-old mailman flying a gyrocopter onto the Capitol grounds!

It's a bird, it's a plane, no, it's a 61-year-old mailman flying a gyrocopter onto the Capitol grounds!

Washington, D.C. - An eccentric madman - oh, no wait! I meant to say mailman - wanting to make a political point landed on the Capitol grounds Wednesday (April 15). He flew down on some kind of contraption that looked like it was put together by a k...
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Funny story: Foghorn Leghorn Denied Access To New White House Transgender Restroom

Foghorn Leghorn Denied Access To New White House Transgender Restroom

BILLINGSGATE POST: Foghorn J. Leghorn, who just recently was granted "Free-Range" privileges by the "Great Emancipator", was blowing hot after being denied access to the recently designated White House transgender restroom. Foghorn is not your trad...
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Funny story: All the prezident's men

All the prezident's men

Barney Fife, former deputy sheriff of Mayberry, NC, and an "intimate associate" of Prezident Barry Obummer, is "stepping down as a longtime friend of the chief executive," the White House confirmed. Although the White House would not "speculate" o...
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Funny story: Despite polls, Hillary says no to servicing Mitt

Despite polls, Hillary says no to servicing Mitt

WHITEWASHINGTON, DC/AC - Hillary Clintoon is celebrating the news: forty percent of the respondents to a Phew Poll affirmed that they want to see a woman in the Oval Orifice. Clintoon (Hillary, not Bill), who may run for president in 2016, beamed...
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Funny story: White House Queen's Chamber swept for bedbugs as UK PM Cameron gets the fluffy pillow routine

White House Queen's Chamber swept for bedbugs as UK PM Cameron gets the fluffy pillow routine

Washington - British diplomatic sources are adamant there will be no Jeffrey Epstein-style peroxide hanky-panky for David Cameron when he hunkers down for a White House sleepover tonight. "Besides," First Attache Sir Humpfree Whorsely commented, "...
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Funny story: U.S. Government to be "Outsourced" - declares Obama.

U.S. Government to be "Outsourced" - declares Obama.

With the advent of a new bill that has mysteriously made its way through Congress to become law, the U.S. government has, to many minds, permanently dissolved itself and binned its own constitution for keeps. The Bill, hastily presented and passe...
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Holiday tips from Santa!

When interviewed, Santa clause was quoted saying "Remember, if you're going to jingle then please jingle all the way". So remember folks, Santa doesn't like a half-assed jingler.
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