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Funny story:  Queen's speech in summary

Queen's speech in summary

Her Majesty the Queen's speech to parliament today has achieved the impossible - all members of the House who were in attendance remained awake. Her Royal Majesty opened her speech with a plea to Wrigley's, the chewing gum manufacturer, not to lay...
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Funny story:  Wasting The Plebs Cash

Wasting The Plebs Cash

A top Government minister popped his head over the battlements of castle parliament today and shouted: "The Government should be allowed to waste taxpayers money!" He quickly jerked his head back inside before any of the plebs could throw stone...
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Funny story:  Well-spoken grandmother in multi-million pound hat makes speech about cutting back

Well-spoken grandmother in multi-million pound hat makes speech about cutting back

A well-spoken and well-preserved grandmother, Mrs Elizabeth Windsor, made a speech earlier this week in which she suggested that her colleagues, or, as she prefers to call them, "subjects" should cut back on the excesses of modern living and save for...
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Funny story:  London 'Must Pay To Clean Up Scots Oil Rigs'

London 'Must Pay To Clean Up Scots Oil Rigs'

An unseemly diplomatic row is festering between the Scottish Parliament and Whitehall following comments by the SNP energy minister concerning decommissioned oil rigs. Fergus Ewing told the Commons Energy Committee that Westminster should pick up...
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Funny story:  Oliver Letwin, the phantom rubbish bin thrower of olde London Town...

Oliver Letwin, the phantom rubbish bin thrower of olde London Town...

Westminster, LONDON: For years, Oliver Letwin, the Conservative MP has been hiding a secret. Many have known about it, but have not been able to disclose the details. Some have tried, but these details have been binned in public parks all over Lon...
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Funny story:  Lady Whip of West Ham:

Lady Whip of West Ham: "I am not giving it to you, **** off."

The Dungeon Theatre, West Ham, London: Lady Labour Whip Lyn Brown, West Ham's Dominatrix 'infamous' rant at the Houses of Parliament; "For F***'s sake, move out of my F****** way." "You are such a rude F****** man, you just walked right in front of me." "I am not giving it to you, F*** off." "You just do that and see what happens." "You are harassing me, leave me alone." Lady Do...
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Funny story:  Fairytale Marriage To Be Annulled - Shock!

Fairytale Marriage To Be Annulled - Shock!

The Royal Family, David Cameron, The people of the quintessentially English and Berkshire village Bucklebury, and that mental bloke who camped out for days on the pavement outside Westminster Abbey last week, have all been left reeling today followin...
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Funny story:  Squatters at Abbey Arrested

Squatters at Abbey Arrested

In a move predicted by some, the Police have moved in on squatters outside Westminster Abbey. 'This has nothing to do with the wedding' said Police Chief Bland (known to his mates as Blind) 'these people are taking over prime locations in London a...
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Funny story:  Abbey Closed for Wedding

Abbey Closed for Wedding

Just when the royal couple Kate and Will had got the Abbey Habit and wanted to start investing some money for their house, they found that Westminter's Abbey Branch had been taken over by Spanish heretics! Satandare, the company that took over the...
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Funny story:  Uproar in the House of Commons

Uproar in the House of Commons

There was uproar in the House of Commons last Wednesday during question time. The question put by Patrick Freeman seemed to many, naive and out of sync with the House's pragmatic approach to questions of governance; but its effect was undeniable. He had asked if government would take active measures to curb "national gullibility" in the wake of a general world wide acknowledgement of the...
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Funny story:  Royal Wedding Venue Switch - Church Of England In Turmoil

Royal Wedding Venue Switch - Church Of England In Turmoil

Church of England authorities were in urgent talks with Buckingham Palace and Clarence House today following the shock announcement that April's royal wedding will be at Westminster Cathedral. The Archbishop of Canterbury and his aides have been p...
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Funny story:  Growing Resentment as WikiLeaks Disclosures Show Who's Hot, Who's Not

Growing Resentment as WikiLeaks Disclosures Show Who's Hot, Who's Not

Britain's betters are responding with increasing petulance, defensiveness and typical misguided self-importance over the emerging stars of the smash hit multi-part series 'WikiLeaks." The disclosures, naming such leading lights as Gorgon Brown and P...
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Funny story:  Pope Benedict goes to wrong cathedral in Westminster

Pope Benedict goes to wrong cathedral in Westminster

The Pope made a very common - but highly embarrassing - mistake when he tried to take mass yesterday in London. He initially turned up at Westminster Abbey - knowing that is where the Kings of Queens of England have been crowned, where the greatest m...
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Funny story:  Killer loose in Westminster

Killer loose in Westminster

Raoul Aking, former MP and ex-prisoner, who knows the corridors of Westminster like the back of his head, is being sought by the Police after he killed his mistress's new partner. She was also badly injured in the gunfight. Aking has now threatene...
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Funny story:  Dog Handlers an Odd Breed at Westminster Dog Show

Dog Handlers an Odd Breed at Westminster Dog Show

One might assume that when the most fit and best looking animals are featured at the Westminster Dog Show, their human counterparts on the show floor might have similar attributes. In actuality, the event conjures up visual images akin to "Beauty an...
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Funny story:  MPs demand Brown heart attack

MPs demand Brown heart attack

Over 100 Labour MPs have signed an open letter demanding Gordon Brown has a non-fatal heart attack. The move comes as the Labour party is looking at desperate measures to ensure a hung parliament. Senior Labour backbencher Oliver Army said: "A...
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Funny story:  Gorillas Stage Rooftop Protest At Palace Of Westminster

Gorillas Stage Rooftop Protest At Palace Of Westminster

An estimated 47 Rwandan lowland silverback gorillas today stormed the Palace of Westminster to protest against climate change. The gorillas reached the roof and got up to lots of gorilla malarkey, such as throwing down turds on watching policemen...
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Funny story:  The Westminster Muppet Show

The Westminster Muppet Show

[opening music] Kermit the Frog: Good evening, ladies and gentleman, and on tonight's Westminster Muppet Show we have a host of stars, with all sorts of iffy haircuts, we have so many stars that - Heckler1: Get on with it! Kermit: Yes, but - Heckler2: I don't pay my taxes for this second-rate stuff! Heckler1: You don't pay your taxes! [laughter] Kermit: OK, let's move on, then. P...
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True Facts From Snoops #1335

Snoops: The average number of toothpicks people swallow in their lifetime? Three. Mostly from laughing after dinner.

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