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Funny satire stories about West Virginia

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Funny story: WV Gov.'s Name Serial Killer Worthy; Earl Ray Tomblin Follows Uncle Murda On List

WV Gov.'s Name Serial Killer Worthy; Earl Ray Tomblin Follows Uncle Murda On List

West Virginia Governor Earl Ray Tomblin has been included in a magazine's list of celebrities and public figures whose names make them sound like serial killers. Serial Killer Magazine recently asked their readers for input in compiling a Top 10 l...
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Funny story: West Virginia dress code aims to make teachers "best dressed" in country

West Virginia dress code aims to make teachers "best dressed" in country

ALMOST HEAVEN, WV - The West By God Virginia Teachers' Union is up in arms over a proposed dress code for the state's educators, which forbids flip-flops, jeans, tank tops, and facial piercings, among other "attire." "How dare they tell me how to...
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Funny story: West Virginians Drinking Only Wine and Mountain Dew

West Virginians Drinking Only Wine and Mountain Dew

For years educated West Virginians and outsiders criticized rural residents for serving children Mountain Dew. Now, a month into a water crisis caused by a chemical spill, all residents have become Mountain Dew drinkers. "I was very hesitant, but...
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Funny story: West Virginia Votes To Change The 9-1-1 Emergency Number

West Virginia Votes To Change The 9-1-1 Emergency Number

CHARLESTON, West Virginia - State Senator Marlene W. Pillwater [D-Philippi] has just announced that the state senate has passed a bill which will change the 9-1-1- emergency number. Senator Pillwater said that after a heated debate on the senate f...
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Funny story: Buffet, Gates Provide Re-Settlement To Africa For W. Virginians

Buffet, Gates Provide Re-Settlement To Africa For W. Virginians

Community organizers from two groups whose purpose is to better education, health, safety, and environmental quality have refused to stay in the state of West Virginia. They have opened up a website exposing the futility of working there and have...
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Funny story: Aliens Spotted Near W. Virginia Chemical Spill?

Aliens Spotted Near W. Virginia Chemical Spill?

A report has appeared in the West Virginia Mountaineer that some guards have reported aliens or very freaky humans near the chemical spill there. "I hope it's not humans that are mutating into what we saw but maybe aliens from another planet might...
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Funny story: CEO Of Polluting West Virginia Plant Gets To Find Out First Hand If Water Is Dangerous To Drink

CEO Of Polluting West Virginia Plant Gets To Find Out First Hand If Water Is Dangerous To Drink

Freedom Industries Explores Its Freedom To Pollute The Waterways Of West Virginia Freedom Industries, the more-important-than-humans industry conveniently located next to the major river supplying water to nine counties of a rural portion of West...
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Funny story: A 53-Year-Old Woman In West Virginia Bench Presses 800 Pounds!

A 53-Year-Old Woman In West Virginia Bench Presses 800 Pounds!

VIENNA, West Virginia - The Guinness Book of World Records is reporting that a woman in West Virginia named Polly Ester Calypso has just bench pressed an amazing 800 pounds setting the weight lifting record for women. Mrs. Calypso, who was divorce...
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Funny story: WV anti-bullying law unfair to Evangelical, straight kids says pastor

WV anti-bullying law unfair to Evangelical, straight kids says pastor

CHARLESTON, West Virginia (ABSNN) - Jeremy Dys of The Family Policy Council told state legislators Friday that West Virginia's anti-bullying policy in its 55 county school districts "is unfair to evangelical students." "We have been forced by an u...
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Funny story: Texas Secession a recession beater for Bumper Sticker Vendors

Texas Secession a recession beater for Bumper Sticker Vendors

ASININE, Texas (ABSNN) - Deep in the heart of this tiny west Texas town is the epicenter of the Texas Secession Movement. In an old, deserted looking storefront, on an equally deserted Main Street, a silk screen print shop company is working three s...
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Funny story: My life as a man #24

My life as a man #24

All is the way it should be! In the heart of every West Virginian is a storyteller. Our most famous spinner of yarns was the incomparable Pearl S. Buck. And while I'm no Pearl Buck; I do spin yarns. In my heart, dear readers, lives a poet. Unfortunately for you folks, that verser is a failed poet. My haiku is astoundingly bad. My free verse should be chained and hidden in a forgotten...
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Funny story: "King Obama" fortold in just discovered cave paintings

"King Obama" fortold in just discovered cave paintings

ORGAN CAVE WV - An amazing, and controversial, discovery was revealed inside a West Virginia cave this morning. A press pool was allowed to view and photograph a series of ten cave paintings that were discovered recently. Two paintings seem to be p...
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Funny story: President Obama To Fine The New Orleans Saints $10 Million

President Obama To Fine The New Orleans Saints $10 Million

MONONGALIA COUNTY, West Virginia - President Obama was in "Mining Country" speaking before a group of 700 coal miners and their families. As he spoke in front of The Federal #2 Mine, one of the largest in the state, he said that if he had not been...
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Funny story: West Virginia Family Torn Apart by Son's Hobo Dreams

West Virginia Family Torn Apart by Son's Hobo Dreams

Pete and Lucinda Strait of Morgantown, West Virginia, were devastated when their six-year-old son, Jack, informed them that he plans to be a hobo when he grows up. The news came as a particular blow to Lucinda. For Jack's entire life, she's done her best to instill in her son a sense of ambition and a drive toward professional success. But thus far, it's all been for naught; Jack has no interes...
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Funny story: Higher Education Stymied. Police Shut Down Meth Lab at Votech School!

Higher Education Stymied. Police Shut Down Meth Lab at Votech School!

Police and K-9 units shut down a Charleston, W. Va industrial arts school after discovering that students, teachers, and the head administrator were running a pharmaceutical lab producing high grade Methamphetamine, (Meth.) Attention was drawn to...
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Funny story: Wheeling, West Virginia Woodchucks Answer Eternal Question

Wheeling, West Virginia Woodchucks Answer Eternal Question

Walt and Whitney Wilson in Wheeling, West Virginia wanted to know "how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood." They were unsatisfied with the answer "as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
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Funny story: Westboro Baptist Church - "We just want to show God's love."

Westboro Baptist Church - "We just want to show God's love."

Following the recent coal mine explosion that killed 29 miners, Westboro Baptist Church members staged a protest spouting hate in the name of God, carrying banners that say, "Thank God for Dead Miners," "You Will Eat Your Babies," God Hates Your Tear...
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Funny story: Jennifer Garner to run for Homecoming Queen at George Washington High School

Jennifer Garner to run for Homecoming Queen at George Washington High School

SOUTH HILLS, CHARLESTON, WV (ABSNN) -- Hollywood honey, Jennifer Garner, has decided to return to her high school alma mater, George Washington High School, in the cake eating section of Charleston, West Virginia, South Hills, and run for Home Coming...
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Breaking News...

Obama... Ordinary like us.

Yesterday, President Obama was refused entry into a restaurant for not wearing a tie and later fined for double parking and... ordered to return his library books... and thrown off a tram...and...

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