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Funny satire stories about Wayne Rooney

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Rooney In United Stand-off

International marketing firm and social media gurus, Manchester United, have dropped their biggest hint yet that England Captain Wayne Rooney will be leaving the club. United's record goal scored has spent time on the substitutes bench this season an...

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Rooney orders zimmerframe!

Funny story: Rooney orders zimmerframe!

Ageing footy ex-superstar, Wayne Rooney, better known for his antics in after-party wedding celebrations so drunk that he forgot to remove his official England shirt, has ordered his first zimmerframe! After returning to his club, the once great M...

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Wayne Rooney's final wig attempt televised live on Facebook!

Funny story: Wayne Rooney's final wig attempt televised live on Facebook!

Facebook have decided to show a unique insight into the bald life of superstar footballer, Wayne Rooney, tonight! They will be live-streaming his road to baldness live and there will even be close-ups of several attempts to reconstruct his thinning,...

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Icelandic Vikings invade English rights to rule the waves and win hands down!

Funny story: Icelandic Vikings invade English rights to rule the waves and win hands down!

England, a long, long time ago ruled the waves! Pillaged, raped and robbed the riches of others and built an Empire upon those riches! Only the Vikings from Northern Europe managed to withstand these attacks and after last night's invasion they prove...

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Elizabeth Waynes

Funny story: Elizabeth Waynes

Fans of Queen Elizabeth took to Twitter today to celebrate her overtaking Wayne Rooney's England scoring record. As she has been on the throne for 63 years and Rooney is only 30 it is clear who has wayned the longest. The national anthem has been...

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Love him or hate him you just can't get rid of him, Rooney!

Funny story: Love him or hate him you just can't get rid of him, Rooney!

English soccer has been use to mediocrity over the last 45 odd years and the shining example of this habit is in the one and only, Wayne Rooney (who?)! After breaking the English scoring record once held by a rather more talented, Sir Bobby Charlt...

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Rooney Reveals Spring Fashion Wig

Funny story: Rooney Reveals Spring Fashion Wig

Breaking news just in from Manchester Uniteds' Carrington training headquarters ahead of their FA cup clash with Lancashire rivals Preston North End.Star striker and England captain Wayne Rooney has revealed his spring edition hairpiece which he will...

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England win World cup!

Funny story: England win World cup!

After 48 years of misery, upsets, lousy performances and overpaid Rooney, England have just finished first in the World Cup! The news has just seeped through after a donkey ridden by a Himalayan Sherpa, his five children and wife rode into Kathman...

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Scotland's Impact on England's World Cup Attempt

Funny story: Scotland's Impact on England's World Cup Attempt

Today the BBC reported on England's accommodation in Brazil. The rooms that the players will be staying in feature couches and mattresses that are HIV positive, Behind the hotel is a favella that resonates enough gunfire to ensure that none of the p...

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UK soccer gossip columns convinced Man United are signing 5000 new players!

Funny story: UK soccer gossip columns convinced Man United are signing 5000 new players!

Man United's new manager, Louis van Gaal, is signing 5000 new players according to the gossip columns in the UK tabloids. After United's demise last season every single newspaper is offering King Louis advice on who to buy and the list has reached...

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Adrian Chiles Is Wayne Rooney From The Future!

Funny story: Adrian Chiles Is Wayne Rooney From The Future!

The government has revealed today that Adrian Chiles is actually Wayne Rooney from the year 2033! Adrian Chiles has been the awkward face of the ITV football coverage team for an eternity plus seven, with no clear justification ever being issued b...

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Moyes admits he shouldn't have taken Manchester United manager job in the first place

Funny story: Moyes admits he shouldn't have taken Manchester United manager job in the first place

The ousted manager of Manchester United, Chris Moyles, has openly admitted on a couch on some breakfast television programme that no one really watches, that he perhaps shouldn't have taken the manager's job at the Manchester united Football club in...

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Robin van Persie tells United to "f*ck off" in double Dutch!

Funny story: Robin van Persie tells United to "f*ck off" in double Dutch!

Star Dutch footballer, RVP (not RIP), thought he was being particularly clever during an interview with a Dutch TV team and actually told his fellow United losers to, "fuck off" in perfect Dutch of course. Now Robin, like many other Dutch chauveni...

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Rooney demands transfer!

Funny story: Rooney demands transfer!

Wayne Rooney has put in a transfer request and demanded a move away from Man Utd. He gave the following press conference explaining his reasons and here it is: "I am sick to death of playing for a middle of the table club, fed up with doing mar...

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Sir Alec Fergusface to write new book

Funny story: Sir Alec Fergusface to write new book

Not content with writing a tell all book revealing all the secrets from Old Trafford, Sir Alcy 'Guinness' Ferguson has agreed a deal to write YET ANOTHER BOOK. After trashing David Beckham, Roy Keane, Rafa Benitez, Steven Gerrard, Wane Rooney and...

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David Moyes writes book about his first three months at Manchester United

Funny story: David Moyes writes book about his first three months at Manchester United

Manc'ester Disunited gaffer David Boyes sensationally tried to grab the attention away from retired Alcy 'Guinness' Ferguson today by announcing his own book will be published next week, revealing all the secrets from his first three months at Old Tr...

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New Manchester United boss David Moyes and his problem with the 'F' word

Funny story: New Manchester United boss David Moyes and his problem with the 'F' word

Following another disappointing result at Old Trafford - the 1-1 draw with Southampton which left United eight points behind leaders Arsenal - new gaffer David Moyes has decided to stop mentioning the 'F' word. After the red devils failed to win a...

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Tabloids Admit Rooney Pun Drought

The tabloid press have admitted that they are struggling to come up with new puns based on the name of soccer star Wayne Rooney. For many years, the red tops have substituted the words "you" and "who" with "Roo" such as "Roo don't know what you're...

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