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Funny satire stories about Wayne Rooney

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Funny story: Scotland's Impact on England's World Cup Attempt

Scotland's Impact on England's World Cup Attempt

Today the BBC reported on England's accommodation in Brazil. The rooms that the players will be staying in feature couches and mattresses that are HIV positive, Behind the hotel is a favella that resonates enough gunfire to ensure that none of the p...
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Funny story: UK soccer gossip columns convinced Man United are signing 5000 new players!

UK soccer gossip columns convinced Man United are signing 5000 new players!

Man United's new manager, Louis van Gaal, is signing 5000 new players according to the gossip columns in the UK tabloids. After United's demise last season every single newspaper is offering King Louis advice on who to buy and the list has reached...
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Funny story: Adrian Chiles Is Wayne Rooney From The Future!

Adrian Chiles Is Wayne Rooney From The Future!

The government has revealed today that Adrian Chiles is actually Wayne Rooney from the year 2033! Adrian Chiles has been the awkward face of the ITV football coverage team for an eternity plus seven, with no clear justification ever being issued b...
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Funny story: Moyes admits he shouldn't have taken Manchester United manager job in the first place

Moyes admits he shouldn't have taken Manchester United manager job in the first place

The ousted manager of Manchester United, Chris Moyles, has openly admitted on a couch on some breakfast television programme that no one really watches, that he perhaps shouldn't have taken the manager's job at the Manchester united Football club in...
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Funny story: Robin van Persie tells United to "f*ck off" in double Dutch!

Robin van Persie tells United to "f*ck off" in double Dutch!

Star Dutch footballer, RVP (not RIP), thought he was being particularly clever during an interview with a Dutch TV team and actually told his fellow United losers to, "fuck off" in perfect Dutch of course. Now Robin, like many other Dutch chauveni...
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Funny story: Rooney demands transfer!

Rooney demands transfer!

Wayne Rooney has put in a transfer request and demanded a move away from Man Utd. He gave the following press conference explaining his reasons and here it is: "I am sick to death of playing for a middle of the table club, fed up with doing mar...
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Funny story: Sir Alec Fergusface to write new book

Sir Alec Fergusface to write new book

Not content with writing a tell all book revealing all the secrets from Old Trafford, Sir Alcy 'Guinness' Ferguson has agreed a deal to write YET ANOTHER BOOK. After trashing David Beckham, Roy Keane, Rafa Benitez, Steven Gerrard, Wane Rooney and...
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Funny story: David Moyes writes book about his first three months at Manchester United

David Moyes writes book about his first three months at Manchester United

Manc'ester Disunited gaffer David Boyes sensationally tried to grab the attention away from retired Alcy 'Guinness' Ferguson today by announcing his own book will be published next week, revealing all the secrets from his first three months at Old Tr...
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Funny story: New Manchester United boss David Moyes and his problem with the 'F' word

New Manchester United boss David Moyes and his problem with the 'F' word

Following another disappointing result at Old Trafford - the 1-1 draw with Southampton which left United eight points behind leaders Arsenal - new gaffer David Moyes has decided to stop mentioning the 'F' word. After the red devils failed to win a...
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Funny story: Tabloids Admit Rooney Pun Drought

Tabloids Admit Rooney Pun Drought

The tabloid press have admitted that they are struggling to come up with new puns based on the name of soccer star Wayne Rooney. For many years, the red tops have substituted the words "you" and "who" with "Roo" such as "Roo don't know what you're...
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Funny story: Rooney's Regret at Snubbing Original Hair Follicles

Rooney's Regret at Snubbing Original Hair Follicles

Wayne Rooney has spoken for the first time about the emotional decision to effectively give up on his original hair follicles and have a hair transplant. Speaking to upmarket newspaper The Completely-Dependent, the Manchester United player admitte...
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Funny story: Transfer Window: Jimmy Greaves comes out of retirement

Transfer Window: Jimmy Greaves comes out of retirement

78 year old former England, Milan, West Ham, Chelsea and Tottenham player has announced he is coming out of retirement. The east-ender, most famous for missing the 1966 world cup final, alcoholism problems and his tv programme with Ian St John, to...
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Funny story: Man United target replacement for Wayne Rooney

Man United target replacement for Wayne Rooney

Manchester United boss David Moyes is planning ahead to the next transfer window and has targeted a replacement for Wayne Rooney in the shape of David Mooney. Mooney plays for Leyton Orient, so far top of League One with five wins from five. Moone...
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Funny story: Man United v Chelsea: Rooney swaps teams at half-time

Man United v Chelsea: Rooney swaps teams at half-time

Dwayne Rodney finally got his wish of a transfer away from the Manc'ester devils last night - although he didn't move far - only to the away team dressing room as Marmitechester United hosted Chelsea in the first Monday night 'classico' of the season...
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Funny story: England win over Scotland is 'actually a defeat' say critics

England win over Scotland is 'actually a defeat' say critics

The England football teams controversial 3-2 win over auld enemies Scotchland is to be investigated by the FA and FIFA, after various overpaid journalists, broadcasters and ex-players pointed out that the overpaid over-pampered players of the English...
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Funny story: Voodoo curse holds up transfers on Premier League big potatoes

Voodoo curse holds up transfers on Premier League big potatoes

Former Norwich, Wimbledon and England forward John Fashanu today sensationally claimed he had met a witch-doctor who has cursed the Premier League and is blocking the transfers of four big named players. Fashanu, who is currently working in a butc...
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Funny story: David Moyes admits he forgot he was Man United boss

David Moyes admits he forgot he was Man United boss

Football fans around the world were aghast this morning on the eve of opening weekend of the Premier League (EPL) as David Moyes admitted to a reporter that he had forgotten he was the new at Old Trafford and thought he was still in charge at Everto...
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Funny story: Rooney To Ferriby

Rooney To Ferriby

The most sensational transfer of 2013 has finally been given the green light. Wayne Rooney will leave thirteen time Premier League champions Manchester United for a all new challenge. North Ferriby United's new owner Sheik Hamu Abu Sabu Abu has pledg...
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George Zimmerman On His Way To Ferguson to Help Darren Wilson

George Zimmerman, who got off on shooting Trayvon Martin in stand your ground Florida, has announced he is on his way to help Darren Wilson, the Missouri cop who shot Michael Brown.

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