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Funny satire stories about Wayne LaPierre

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National Rifle Association On The Rocks

Funny story: National Rifle Association On The Rocks

Great Scott! The NRA is in a financial crisis? If they need money, why not use their products, march into any bank and make a crisis-eliminating withdrawal? And, if the NRA does go under and have a funeral, Donald Trump Jr. should be a pallbearer...

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In a Kingdom Long Ago . . .

Funny story: In a Kingdom Long Ago . . .

In a kingdom long ago (OK, maybe not so long ago), there lived, in a thousand villages in the demesne, a happy and peaceful people who sent their children off to school each day, secure in the knowledge that their children were receiving the best education that a developed and tight-fisted kingdom could afford. A few decades back (in this kingdom, remember, somewhat long ago), there arose, amon...

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Gov. Bourbon Signs Conceal Carry Law That Allows Children to Carry Without a Permit as Long as They Have a Valid Kindergarten ID Card

Funny story: Gov. Bourbon Signs Conceal Carry Law That Allows Children to Carry Without a Permit as Long as They Have a Valid Kindergarten ID Card

BISMARCK, ND--The state legislature of North Dakota today signed into a law a Conceal Carry bill that would allow children to carry a firearm as long as they possessed a valid kindergarten ID card. Gov. Doug Bourbon, eating lunch at his favorite b...

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Wayne Lapierre urges Americans to buy more guns to defend against the left

Funny story: Wayne Lapierre urges Americans to buy more guns to defend against the left

MARYLAND - At the Conservative Political Action Conference on Friday, head of the National Rifle Association Wayne Lapierre strongly condemned public political activity of the left. He described actions of protesters who voice opposition to the poli...

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James Madison Addresses the Nation

Funny story: James Madison Addresses the Nation

HEAVEN--James Madison, from his final resting place in heaven, today addressed the nation about the barrage of school shootings afflicting the United States. The text of Madison's speech follows: My fellow Americans, Many of you know me as one of the Founding Fathers and the fourth President of this great nation. Fewer of you are no doubt familiar with the many contributions I made to the...

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NRA Starts Big Push To Get Guns Into The Hands Of As Many Wackos As Possible

Funny story: NRA Starts Big Push To Get Guns Into The Hands Of As Many Wackos As Possible

Realizing statistically that whenever there is a gun related mass murder by a mentally ill individual or group that gun sales go up out of fear that they will be outlawed. Because of this gun manufacturers have started pushing the NRA to get more gun...

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Texas Legislature Poised to Pass Open-Viper Law

Funny story: Texas Legislature Poised to Pass Open-Viper Law

AUSTIN, TX-The Republican-controlled Texas legislature is poised to pass an historic Open-Viper Law over the next two weeks. The Open Viper Law, the first of its kind in the nation, would allow Texas citizens to openly carry venomous snakes in the Lo...

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NRA Lobbies for Concealed Carry Permits for Toddlers

Funny story: NRA Lobbies for Concealed Carry Permits for Toddlers

FAIRFAX, VA--After a two year old toddler fatally shot his mother at a Wal-Mart recently, Wayne LaPierre, CEO of the National Rifle Ass., is starting an effort to lobby Congress to extend Concealed Carry Laws to toddlers nationwide. His reasoning:...

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Nine Year Old Bags Her First Human with an Uzi

Funny story: Nine Year Old Bags Her First Human with an Uzi

LAS VEGAS-Her parents proudly filming her with their cell phone, nine year old Violet Burton bagged her first human on Tuesday with an Uzi submachine gun. The Burtons had gone to Las Vegas to vacation, and their itinerary included hunting humans i...

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NRA Demands That American Government Outlaw Drones Despite The Second Amendment

Funny story: NRA Demands That American Government Outlaw Drones Despite The Second Amendment

In a strange reversal of policy the NRA has demanded that the U.S. make a ban on drones very much like the ban on guns that they have so heatedly fought against in the past. Speaking at a press conference NRA Fuhrer Wayne LaPierre has vehemently a...

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Wallmark to Introduce New Line of Sympathy Cards for Victims of Gun Violence

Funny story: Wallmark to Introduce New Line of Sympathy Cards for Victims of Gun Violence

KANSAS CITY, MO---The NRA, ever vigilant against liberal, extremist groups who want to take away citizens' right to bear arms, now has an enemy's list. In addition to Wallmark Cards, among its many targets are Britney Spears, the YWCA, AARP, B'nai B...

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Gunfight at Open Carry Corral

Funny story: Gunfight at Open Carry Corral

SAN ANTONIA, TX--A gunfight today broke out between the leader of the Open-Carry Movement, Tex "Small Sack" O'Laury, and the CEO of the National Rifle Association, Wayne "Wacko" LaPierre. The gunfight erupted after a spokesperson for the NRA called...

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NRA Succeeds In Taking Over U.S. - Bans All Amendments Except Second

Funny story: NRA Succeeds In Taking Over U.S. - Bans All Amendments Except Second

The NRA has at last accomplished their goal of taking over the government of what was once was the United States of America. Initiating a ploy that they were rebels against an unfair, repressive political entity, they succeeding in hiding their real...

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NRA Calls for SOS (Shoot on Suspicion) Laws Nationwide

Funny story: NRA Calls for SOS (Shoot on Suspicion) Laws Nationwide

FAIRFAX, VA--In a legal move to avoid having to prove that an armed person felt physically threatened when discharging his weapon, Wayne LaPierre, CEO and Bullshitter-in-Chief for the National Rifle Association, is now calling for SOS, or Shoot on Su...

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Obama In Duel With The NRA And LaPierre - Obama Loses!

Funny story: Obama In Duel With The NRA And LaPierre - Obama Loses!

Many believed it would be a dramatic and historic meeting between President Obama and NRA leader Wayne LaPierre when they met at a press conference in New York this afternoon. After a long standing feud (minus guns but about guns) between the two for...

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"I See Dead People!" Causes NRA Fuhrer Wayne LaPierre To Build His Own Winchester House.

Funny story: "I See Dead People!" Causes NRA Fuhrer Wayne LaPierre To Build His Own Winchester House.

Wayne LaPierre, chief face for the National Rifle Association, has been secretly burdened by the fear of having helped to suppress laws that would have controlled the guns that have been ravaging American society. Knowing that he was instrumental in...

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Wayne LaPierre: "Guns Don't Kill People. Crazy Fucks with Guns Kill People."

Funny story: Wayne LaPierre: "Guns Don't Kill People. Crazy Fucks with Guns Kill People."

WASHINGTON, D.C.--Amid renewed talk of more stringent universal background checks after the latest school shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, Wayne LaPierre was seen walking around the capitol, with his pockets bursting with congressmen...

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Gun Companies Realize More Profit Made Being Patriotic To The Taliban Than To The U.S.

Funny story: Gun Companies Realize More Profit Made Being Patriotic To The Taliban Than To The U.S.

A major financial shift has occurred within the gun manufacturing section of the United States Corporate industry. A huge surge has come about in the number of guns and ammunition being clandestinely sold to the Mid East terror organization Al Queda.

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Breaking news…

Porn Lawyer Seeks to Expand Show-Biz Career

Fresh off countless CNN appearances, creepy porn lawyer Michael Avenatti has sued Marvel Comics, demanding to be taken on as their latest super-hero -- Rabid-Ranting-Rodent-Esquire-Dude.
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