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Funny story:  Extend Your Shitty, Meaningless Existence With the Nutrirocket Food Extractor!

Extend Your Shitty, Meaningless Existence With the Nutrirocket Food Extractor!

The Nutrirocket food extractor is the latest, most scientifically-proven way to extend one's painful, lost existence indefinitely. Thanks to the most innovative in 21st century euphemisms, we have magically turned a 40 dollar blender into a $120.00 (...
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Funny story:  Elderly blind man prevents aircraft hijacking

Elderly blind man prevents aircraft hijacking

There have been numerous reports of aircraft disasters in recent weeks. Some of the aircraft went down in freak accidents while others were taken down by antiaircraft missiles shot by terrorists on the ground. Yesterday, in an unintended heroic act o...
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Funny story:  End Of World Cult Family Get On Wrong Spaceship

End Of World Cult Family Get On Wrong Spaceship

Four members of a doomsday cult, calling themselves Scientopolists and followers of Ronnette L. "Old Mother" Hubbard have been taken away by a spacecraft with huge colored lights making strange "Close Encounter" type musical notes, from Area 51 nea...
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Funny story:  Prime Minister Netanyahu Goes Fundraising Amid Country in Turmoil

Prime Minister Netanyahu Goes Fundraising Amid Country in Turmoil

Tel Aviv - With his country deep in the midst of major crises and problems which demand his attention, including the current war with Hamas, Prime Minister Netanyahu headed out today for a quick cash-and-grab fundraising trip. The Prime Minist...
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Funny story:  Goodell: Red Bull More Integrity-Damaging Than Smacking A Mouthy Broad

Goodell: Red Bull More Integrity-Damaging Than Smacking A Mouthy Broad

MANHATTAN -- NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has announced that he will no longer penalize players for domestic violence, noting that consuming large doses of performance-enhancing Red Bull tarnishes the integrity of the game much more than smacking a...
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Funny story:  Ham-fisted idea  becomes a reality

Ham-fisted idea becomes a reality

A British man has become the first person in the world to undergo a revolutionary new form of surgery to restore his hands, which were horrifically destroyed years ago while he was wrestling a wild boar. Manuel Trotter, 45, of Scunthorpe, now has mec...
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Funny story:  Famous Barnsley Ladies' Finishing School To Close

Famous Barnsley Ladies' Finishing School To Close

Looking nothing like a finishing school, La Wombwella ladies' finishing institute was supposed to resemble the kind of back to back house common young ladies would one day inhabit, with stone steps, a microwave and a scruffy kitchen. But now due to...
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Funny story:  Shameless spin as Pope schmoozes up to Sudanese apostate woman

Shameless spin as Pope schmoozes up to Sudanese apostate woman

Rome - The Roamin Catlick church is in the doghouse tonight following widespread condemnation of a PR stunt involving Sudanese apostate woman Meriam Yahia Ibrahim Ishag. The 30-something mother of two flew to Rome with her family for a photo op w...
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Funny story:  Jerry Springer Nearly Dies and Goes to Hell; Rumble Ensues

Jerry Springer Nearly Dies and Goes to Hell; Rumble Ensues

HELL---Longtime tabloid talk show host Jerry Springer was pronounced dead from a gorilla attack on Friday, soon after beginning his Final Thought segment at the end of the show, but was eventually revived by EMTs at the scene. Friday's show, which...
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Funny story:  Bloomberg packed a parachute on his Tel Aviv flight

Bloomberg packed a parachute on his Tel Aviv flight

New York - Former mayor Michael Bloomberg personally demonstrated the safety of flying commercial jets to Tel Aviv recently, with a well executed publicity stunt in which he down played the threat of terrorist rockets that have been raining down on t...
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Funny story:  Gold to be Won at the Common Wealth Games!

Gold to be Won at the Common Wealth Games!

The Common Wealth Games are under way and we are assured they will be played out on a level playing field. Out intrepid Athletics reporter Jock White has called from Glasgow to advise us that he has discovered the playing field is much higher one...
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Funny story:  Rockets rockets everywhere and not a time to think

Rockets rockets everywhere and not a time to think

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's attack on the Gaza Strip is located inside a just and merciful response to Hamas rockets, echoed by President Obama's, "No country on Earth would tolerate missiles raining down on its citizens from outside its bord...
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Funny story:  Voyager 1 probe only calls back Earth when it needs more money

Voyager 1 probe only calls back Earth when it needs more money

Tensions were evident in NASA yesterday when it was revealed that the space probe Voyager 1 had finally contacted back Earth, however it was later discovered that the satellite had called back simply to ask for more money to go out with friends whils...
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Funny story:  Solar Panel Firm Bids For DVD Recycling Company

Solar Panel Firm Bids For DVD Recycling Company

Unsold DVDs and CDs from charity shops, music marketing outlets and teenagers' bedrooms have been harvested recently in huge numbers by the recycling firm, Earbleeders. Now the subject of several healthy offers worldwide, probably due to the fac...
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Funny story:  New Royal Race Meetings To Feature Only Smack-Head Horses

New Royal Race Meetings To Feature Only Smack-Head Horses

Rally style jockey protection cages are among the proposals for "Horse Smack-Head" meetings to be staged in Afhghanistan. The unfortunate horses which are prone to accidental banned substance ingestion will race while on morphine initially, before b...
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Funny story:  Michael Moore, Hillary Clinton Both Check Into Wealth Rehab Facility

Michael Moore, Hillary Clinton Both Check Into Wealth Rehab Facility

Malibu, CA - Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you seek out professional help. Such is the case with two well-known people in recent weeks. Michael Moore and Hillary Clinton have both checked themselves into a Wealth Rehab clinic after...
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Funny story:  Obscure Zoroastrian cult has infiltrated the Pentagon

Obscure Zoroastrian cult has infiltrated the Pentagon

Washington DC - A fire-worshiping cult behind state religion in the Achaemenid, Parthian, Sasanian and Arachnid empires has seized control of the Pentagon, specifically aircon and life support in the highly classified Restricted Wing. A statement...
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Funny story:  World War I commemorations "will be over by Christmas"

World War I commemorations "will be over by Christmas"

Official commemorations for the centenary of the beginning of World War I are being held this weekend in Sarajevo, with a re-enactment of the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Following that, large-scale memorial events will be held in B...
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Breaking News...

John Walsh's PTSD doctor in plagiarism scandal

Army doctor filed the same medical review hundreds of times for soldiers looking to get tax free disability pay!

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