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Funny satire stories about Warren Jeffs

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Funny story: Raymond Jessop: "I am a tool of The Lord!"

Raymond Jessop: "I am a tool of The Lord!"

Texas - (Rotters): Dismissing pre-trial arguments that Warren Jeff's sidekick is 'a divine instrument' Judge Larry Seidlin - er...state District Judge Barbara Walther! - told the accused "Don't screw with the law!" The Yearning For Zion polygamy n...
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Funny story: Ratzinger matrix shielded Philip 'The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch' Garrido

Ratzinger matrix shielded Philip 'The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch' Garrido

Antioch, Ca - (Reuterus): Police are probing reports that a Vatican satanic network which bankrolled Ronnie Raygun's Calfornia gubernatorial campaign also shielded monster Philip Garrido. "Jaycee Dugard's abductor is shaping up to be Pope Joe Rat...
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Funny story: Jackson children DNA link to Warren Jeffs?

Jackson children DNA link to Warren Jeffs?

Los Angeles - (ReUterus): Forensic gynacologists are studying the DNA of Michael Jackson's two elder (sic) children Prince Michael I and Paris Katherine after polygamy nutter Warren Jeffs' sperm tested positive. The jailed fundamentalist is believ...
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Funny story: Warren Jeffs vindicated as arson destroys Texas governor's mansion

Warren Jeffs vindicated as arson destroys Texas governor's mansion

Utah State Prison, Utah - (Incandescent Mess): "The Lord has heard my cry and has smitten mine enemy with his bolts of fire!"...
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Funny story: Polygamist Prophet Former Stripper

Polygamist Prophet Former Stripper

SAN ANGELO, Texas (CNN) -- DNA swabs have been collected by Texas Officials from jailed polygamist sect leader Warren Jeffs. This is all part of the criminal investigation involving "spiritual marriages" to girls as young as 12. The surpris...
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Funny story: Texas now clear favorite for world ecclesiastical child molester HQ

Texas now clear favorite for world ecclesiastical child molester HQ

Bryan, Texas - (Lurid Ass Mess): Texas has overtaken the Vatican City as top global child molester hotspot with this week's arrest of yet another church minister on online child solicitation charges.
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Funny story: Warren Jeffs grasses up neighboring House of Yahweh incest cult

Warren Jeffs grasses up neighboring House of Yahweh incest cult

Clyde, Texas - (Polygamous Ass Mess): Jailed child rape accomplice Warren Jeffs has entered a plea bargain naming a neighboring Texan cult House of Yahweh profit (sic, sic) as a Mexcian child slave trade trafficking ring mobster.
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Funny story: Warren Jeffs incest nutter found in Austrian hellhole

Warren Jeffs incest nutter found in Austrian hellhole

Amstetten, Austria - (Lurid Ass Mess): Austrian police are probing links between Eldorado's fundamentalist polygamist nutter Warren Jeffs and a 73-year-old Austrian who is believed to have hidden his daughter in a cellar for 24 years and fathered...
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Funny story: Feds probe Charles Manson/ Warren Jeffs carnage links

Feds probe Charles Manson/ Warren Jeffs carnage links

Death Valley - (Rotters): FBI agents are ready to start excavating four potential burial sites at Charles Manson's former Helter Skelter Ranch in Death Valley.
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Funny story: OPEC debates wholesale market in underage females to offset rocketing crude prices

OPEC debates wholesale market in underage females to offset rocketing crude prices

Vienna, Austria - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): An emergency session of the OPEC ruling council has debated the wholesale marketing of underage females to offset the rocketing price of crude which is nudging $120 a-barrel today.
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Funny story: Warren Jeffs: "Congress is Hell"

Warren Jeffs: "Congress is Hell"

Utah State Penitentiary - (Fundamentalist Mess): "You heathen folk just don't realise that for a fundamentally polygamist prophet like myself, congress is hell when each wife comes with a mother-in-law."...
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Funny story: Feds find giant tunnel linking Crawford and Eldorado

Feds find giant tunnel linking Crawford and Eldorado

Texas - (Fundamental Nutter Mess): Federal agents have found a gigantic tunnel linking George W Bush's Predator Chapel Ranch, Crawford home and the Yearn For Zion polygamist nutters' concentration camp 223 miles due west nea...
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Funny story: CIA's Tenet 'always knew Warren Jeffs is Pope Ratzinger's son'

CIA's Tenet 'always knew Warren Jeffs is Pope Ratzinger's son'

Langley, Va - (Sordid Ass Mess): Ex-CIA CEO George Tenet has egg on his face this weekend as a UK Sunday tabloid vows to expose him as shielding Pope Joseph Ratzinger for over 40 years as the biological father of polygamist nutter Warren Jeffs.
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Funny story: Pat Robertson to meet Pope about 'goddawful Warren Jeffs business'

Pat Robertson to meet Pope about 'goddawful Warren Jeffs business'

Virginia Beach - (Polygamist Ass Mess): Rev Pat Robertson will hold secret talks with the Pope next week about a potentially explosive 1963 child custody deal that named Joseph Ratzinger as Warren Jeff's biological father.
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Funny story: Inside Warren Jeff's baby factory

Inside Warren Jeff's baby factory

Eldorado - (Lurid Mess): Federal agents have found over $3 million in child bride cash receipts, virginity and fertility testing kits, impregnation rotas, pregnancy testing equipment and midwifery records at fundamentalist nutter Warren Jeffs'
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Funny story: Obama Joins New Church

Obama Joins New Church

Last month, Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama was under intense political pressure due to anti-white and anti-American slurs made by the clergyman of his Illinois church. In order to avoid the backlash from that negative publicity, the...
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Funny story: Warren Jeffs fathered over two thousand say cops

Warren Jeffs fathered over two thousand say cops

Eldorado, Texarse - (Lurid Ass Mess): Fundamentalist nutter Warren Jeffs may have fathered at least two thousand children in his polygamist mind-control Yearn for Zion brothel, Eldorado police authorities said today.
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Funny story: Warren Jeffs' Yearn for Zion Brothel Raided

Warren Jeffs' Yearn for Zion Brothel Raided

Eldorado, Texarse - (Wacko Mess): Cops have raided fundamentalist polygamist nutter Warren Jeffs' Yearn For Zion child molestor brothel and released over 400 brainwashed hostages.
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