Crimewatch UK Update
Name: Cameron David William Donald. (Also known as Twinkle, Spoon-in-the-mouth, and The Poseur.
Endangering the 61,113,205 population of the UK, by scrapping the Nimrod Surveillance Planes, thus leaving them open to terrorist attack by removing the tools to monitor known terrorists air-wave activity.
Threatening the 2.5m officially (4.1...
Police have launched a nationwide manhunt today for five men who have committed a crime that involves the vicious rape and assault of music.
The five crap-haired, personality free individuals were last seen in a shopping centre in West London brut...
A job advertisement that appeared in many newspapers today read:...
I wanted to write a story. So I needed a subject and a bunch of words. I'd go over to the computer, sit and magically release these words through my fingers into the keyboard, passing them through the hard drive, and out on the screen in order to make a story. I don't have that here. So you think I'm writing a story about not writing a story, and that's my gimmick. That's not a...
Wanted - 1 Clothes Peg. No questions asked.
A friend of mine told me to come over to his house this Saturday around noon. He was going to be in his full on "Bar-b-Que" mode and he wanted me to be there specifically.
Every night, I try to get some shuteye. Not too much, mind you, but just enough to take the edge off the exhaustion that seems to accumulate during the course of my busy day. Two nights ago was no exception – at about 3:30am, I powered down my generator and announced over the PA that it was time for sleep. I could hear the groans of disappointment from the team, who obviously wanted to go on wor...
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An original metaphor:
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