Not to be outdone by Kroger's and some other grocery chains, Walmart has installed "infa-red" sensors in all of their stores, which will indicate the number of customers in the store, which will enable them to close lanes so that all open registers w...
It's difficult enough to succeed at running a small business, but now some retailers say Walmart is depleting the supply of elderly, cantankerous employees.
Heigorou "Hank" Murakami, who has owned a small hardware store for 27 years, said he rece...
PEORIA, Calif.-The unemployment lines in Peoria have seen a jump in numbers as the local Walmart closes its doors for the last time after succumbing to the pressures of the newly opened Super Walmart.
"When the Super Walmart opened four month...
You can't stop this guy.
After parleying the biggest chunk of cash ever spent on a presidential election into a losing lottery ticket, Mr. Romney has powerballed his way into the Kalamazoo, MI, Wal-Mart to spend his Thursday nite paving the way...
St. Louis (SAPP) - The 2012 Olympics in London will be getting no help from the U.S.A. this year. Drought, heatwave, and burn bans have crippled the effort to send the Olympic Flame through the Midwest this year. But this may soon change.
"This to...
LA BREA - Russell Brand and Kate Gosselin were having dinner at the famed La Brea Tar Pits Diner when Russell went into his laptop and saw a photo of Kate on the Internet.
The picture clearly showed her getting out of her car in a short plaid skir...
Wal-Mart stock dropped sharply again today as the Associated Press is reporting that another scandal has emerged for the giant corporation. Sources within the Vatican have confirmed on condition of anonymity, that officials at the highest level at bo...
PORTER RANCH, California - Mikey Champ is the attorney representing the infamous Black Friday Pepper Sprayer who has now been identified by the entire U.S. news media as Elizabeth "Lizzy" Macias, 32.
Macias, who describes herself as a devoted shop...
PORTER RANCH, California - Police in the San Fernando Valley town of Porter Ranch have released the infamous Black Friday Pepper Sprayer and are still trying to figure out if they should file charges against her.
What? According to Fuchsia Garfunk...
London - Grounded last year by the Strategic Sitting-On-Da-Fence and Security Review the vertical take-off and landing warplanes have been snapped up by US Marines in an RAF car boot sale at Brize Norton.
Pentagon sources confirmed the purchase b...
Wrapping up their annual summer coupon promotion for industrial strength feminine hygiene products, unbreakable mirrors and quart sized lip hair remover, Waltmart stores in the Southern US capped off the week long event by announcing this year's top...
Jim Tressel, the maligned ex head coach at Da Ohio State University in Columbus, Ohio was recently spotted working as a greeter in a Walmart in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
A clause in his contract stipulated that each person entering the store be greeted...
Charmin Bathroom Tissue will issue a special commemorative toilet paper next month in honor of the Sears Catalogue. The toilet paper manufacturer said that this will be their first special edition and will be a rarity for them as they normally "stick...
BENTONVILLE, Ark. - At the home and worldwide corporate headquarters of the largest, richest, most powerful and populous of the many Corporate States of America, it was announced today, just two mere days after it was declared a nation-an official na...
(Published 2051) - AERO-LAYER 15, LOST ANGELES - The Oscars, a proud tradition from the tribal days of America, has been won by the feature-length film Farty Fart Farts.
FFF, is a romantic-action-thriller-horror-comedy about a bottom that farts, a...
(Published 2017) - LONDON - A second price war has happened within the borders of Britain. Back in '13 it was GAP vs. Peacock (both are clothes stores). Today it is ASDA Vs. Tesco.
Like the previous price war, both transnational corporations are d...
H&R Block, the tax preparation company who has taken it in the proverbial rear this tax season --after losing refund anticipation loans, their sole source of income-- they now find out that Jackson Hewitt will be the exclusive provider of tax ser...
WAL-MARTIA - Just outside of Chicago is a brand-new Wal-Mart.
Wal-Martia, the latest expansion ever by the retail transnational, will cover 103 sq mi (270 sq. km), or roughly the size of Birmingham (UK) or the size of Queens in New York.
"Wal-...