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Funny satire stories about Walmart

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Walmartians have taken over the world

Funny story: Walmartians have taken over the world

Back in the old days, people used to collect themselves at the cave in the middle of the woods, look up at the stars and the constellations and make up stories about the various diagrams they saw in the sky. You know, Orion, The Big Dipper, The Littl...

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Sanders Supporters Begin "Occupy Walmart"--Pledge To Hold Out Indefinitely

Funny story: Sanders Supporters Begin "Occupy Walmart"--Pledge To Hold Out Indefinitely

With Hillary Clinton as the presumptive nominee for the Democrats, some Bernie Sanders supporters are now executing their Occupy Walmart strategy in a last ditch effort to win Sanders the nomination. Nearly 40,000 Occupy volunteers will protest an...

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New Thanksgiving Holiday Of 'Gratitude' Started For Those Who Must Work On The Real Thanksgiving.

Funny story: New Thanksgiving Holiday Of 'Gratitude' Started For Those Who Must Work On The Real Thanksgiving.

In response to the overwhelming growth of Black Friday and its exploitation of the employees who must work in the service industry labor unions, families, certain compassionate government leaders and religious figures have petitioned and won governme...

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Overdressed Man Accidentally Walks Into Walmart

Funny story: Overdressed Man Accidentally Walks Into Walmart

When 38-year old Jeff O'Mairs went to Walmart last Sunday afternoon overdressed, repercussions were severe. A blast of Facebook rants and Instagram photos of him shopping while wearing a suit in the paper goods aisle went viral. The perpetrator...

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Rapper .50 cent Lowers His Price For Walmart Ad

Funny story: Rapper .50 cent Lowers His Price For Walmart Ad

Los Angeles, CA - Rapper .50 cent has apparently completed terms on a contract with retail giant Walmart, in an agreement to cross-market one and others brands. The Walmart folks want America to know that there is nothing that they can't cut the pric...

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Tracy Morgan settles suit with Walmart

Today Tracy Morgan, famed comedian and star of many funny programs, settled his automobile head-trauma case with not-so-funny Walmart. The terms of the settlement were confidential, but for a price, (undisclosed,) we were able to determine the gen...

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Thin Women File Discrimination Charges Against Walmart - Say They favor Fatsos!

Funny story: Thin Women File Discrimination Charges Against Walmart - Say They favor Fatsos!

US attorney Moishe Pipick announced today in Washington;"These aggrieved thin women have shown initial evidence supporting their claims that Walmart discriminates against them and all thin men and women in favor of hiring "fatsos!" What proof have...

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Rich And Poor State What They Have To Be Thankful For This Thanksgiving - Mostly the Rich

Funny story: Rich And Poor State What They Have To Be Thankful For This Thanksgiving - Mostly the Rich

"I am thankful that I have a job even though I have to work today 'cause my boss told me too." said Chad Shafted in a slight break between customers at 11 at night at the Des Plaines Walmart in Illinois. "I am thankful even though I am not being paid...

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WalMart to Have Big Sale to Feed Employees for the Holidays

Funny story: WalMart to Have Big Sale to Feed Employees for the Holidays

Bentonville, AR-In a surge of holiday spirit, Walmart announced it would give employees big discounts on their food purchases so as to be able to stock up for the holidays. Rice and beans are two of the commodities that will be discounted. "We...

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Walmart Exploits Workers, It's a Matter Of Ethics.

Funny story: Walmart Exploits Workers, It's a Matter Of Ethics.

AP - Almost exactly a year ago, a Walmart in Ohio made headlines for an employee food drive intended to help support their fellow Walmart workers. Now come reports of additional stores rolling out the donation bins, showing that the retailers really...

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Rick Perry: "Illegal Children Taking Over Favorite Wal-Mart"

Funny story: Rick Perry: "Illegal Children Taking Over Favorite Wal-Mart"

Texas Gov Rick Perry said in an emotional interview today that his favorite Wal-Mart is being over-run with illegal children! "I couldn't even get to the snack bar" a frustrated Perry proclaimed "it was like Korea in there"! Concerns about the...

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Democrats To Regain House And Keep The Senate

Funny story: Democrats To Regain House And Keep The Senate

Don't tell Republicans, but in the November 2014 election, the Democrats will keep the Senate and regain the House of Representatives, and say hello once again to: Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. Democrats will succeed only if the Republican...

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Many Arkansas Residents Want The State To Outlaw Chewing Tobacco Spitting

Funny story: Many Arkansas Residents Want The State To Outlaw Chewing Tobacco Spitting

LITTLE ROCK - The state of Arkansas has said that the spitting of chewing tobacco all over the place has got to stop. A spokesman for the governor's office stated that it has gotten to the point where a woman can't even take her half dozen young'u...

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Walmart gives up on numbering isles

Funny story: Walmart gives up on numbering isles

Western U.S.A. - A new Walmart store gave up on numbering their isles when employees complained about not being able to read numbers with more than two digits. According to store manager, Ms. Overlay Iddlemay, top manager for the Walmart store, th...

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Walmart sues NC pastor for defamation of character!

In a morning news conference held on the tarmac of the Raleigh/Durham regional airport, a spokesman for the Walmart corporation announced that the corporate giant was suing a little known NC pastor for defamation of character. The news conference...

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Walmart To Introduce A New Marketing Plan To Attract Richer Customers

Funny story: Walmart To Introduce A New Marketing Plan To Attract Richer Customers

BENTONVILLE, Arkansas - Walmart, the world's largest retail and food corporation has just announced a new marketing ploy for 2014. Company spokesperson Kimberley Silverlace informed the members of the press that the company had recently hired a hi...

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A Tremendously Obese Arizona Woman Reveals That She Had Her Lips Stapled

PHOENIX, Arizona - Saying that all of her life she has been overweight beyond belief, Phoenix resident Olympia Twistboro, 37, decided to finally do something about it. She told National Focus Magazine that she hit the 500 pound mark this past Vale...

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Walton Family Checks into Rehab for Wealth Addiction

Funny story: Walton Family Checks into Rehab for Wealth Addiction

Bentonville, Arkansas -- In a shocking admission that surprised half of the world's population, the surviving members of the Walton family announced earlier this week that they are checking into the Betty Ford Clinic to treat a debilitating wealth ad...

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