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Funny satire stories about Wall Street

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Funny story: Wall Crashes after 42 Bottles of Beer

Wall Crashes after 42 Bottles of Beer

Wall Street (SAPP) - Hackers from Bavaria have claimed responsibility for toppling a wall full of beer bottles. This follows a long string of mishaps regarding wall security tactics and countermeasures. This most recent security breach is by far the worst. "There were originally about 103 bottles of beer on the wall," says Bud Visor, chief of wall security. "I will be checking into the log file...
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Funny story: Brexit moving quickly toward nexit, hexit, and feckit as financiers scramble for the too big to fail handbook

Brexit moving quickly toward nexit, hexit, and feckit as financiers scramble for the too big to fail handbook

Brexit's financial fall out explained in brief is the monkey lost his stash out of his jungle nest and let out a moan fit to get everybody's teeth grinding. It is unfortunate, of course, when the clientele suddenly disappears and all that potentia...
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Funny story: Popular politician vows to take on the Wall Street "Big Money" or some crap

Popular politician vows to take on the Wall Street "Big Money" or some crap

A local political candidate recently promised that, if elected, he'd fight those "big wall street swindlers" and maybe "take on those fat cat bankers" or "something like that." Speaking at a local gathering in front of the Piggly Wiggly, the ca...
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Funny story: Lemonade Stands Downgraded to CCC by Standard & Poor's

Lemonade Stands Downgraded to CCC by Standard & Poor's

Wall Street - Standard & Poor's has downgraded the credit rating of lemonade stands to CCC from its previous rating of BB. Both ratings are considered non-investment grade, which means S&P considers lemonade stands to be very risky investmen...
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Funny story: Commerce Department Approves Big Pharma Merger

Commerce Department Approves Big Pharma Merger

Officials at the US Department of Commerce endorsed the largest merger in corporate history by rubber-stamping the paperwork prior to returning it to the roll in the toilet stall at the lavatory down the hall. The amalgamation involved the acquis...
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Funny story: London Whale Helps The Spoof! Profits Go Through The Roof!

London Whale Helps The Spoof! Profits Go Through The Roof!

London, England - The two JP Morgan financial analysts, known collaboratively as the London Whale, have seemingly overnight, helped boost the profit margins of one of the very journalistic institutions which has been taking the piss out of them for n...
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Funny story: Too big to jail executive mistaken for ordinary criminal apologized to and released

Too big to jail executive mistaken for ordinary criminal apologized to and released

Resigning Attorney General Eric Holder has come forward to clarify what happened with a banking executive who recently spent a night in jail anyway, despite being "too big to jail." This executive (who must remain anonymous, according to Mr. Hold...
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Funny story: Illegal Immigrants Can Stay For Now, But Only If They Help Build A Border Wall

Illegal Immigrants Can Stay For Now, But Only If They Help Build A Border Wall

Texas Border President Obama, in a special televised speech carried on the FUSE and HUB networks, explained that since he has less than two years left in his hell-on-earth job, he doesn't care anymore about illegal immigration. He has therefore arran...
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Funny story: The Many (questionable) Roads To Success

The Many (questionable) Roads To Success

So many are struggling in our current difficult economic times where the few controlling the financial strings of the country have the rest of us dancing around just to survive while they watch from the porches of their grand estates grandly amused.
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Funny story: Willie Nelson to Join Twitter Birdies at Wall Street Protest

Willie Nelson to Join Twitter Birdies at Wall Street Protest

Twitter birdies are disgusted, and they want the whole world to know. With the share price of Twitter down but work assignments up, the Twitter birdies say they have to speak out. Wall Street wants faster expansion of the business, but the birdie...
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Funny story: Who's what in Ukraine with new scheme for investment and credit default swaps emerging from Goldman Sachs

Who's what in Ukraine with new scheme for investment and credit default swaps emerging from Goldman Sachs

Always alert for new financial investments, Lloyd Blankfein, CEO of Goldman Sachs, is rumored to be the mind behind a new investment and credit default swap system for the crisis in Ukraine. That is, the securities and investment management firm w...
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Funny story: Wall Street summons GOP to financial straightening out meeting over tax bill and general uppityness problems

Wall Street summons GOP to financial straightening out meeting over tax bill and general uppityness problems

Reports today indicate Wall Street is not at all pleased with Representative David Camp's (R-MI) new tax program which threatens to add taxes on to banks and cut corporate tax breaks. The furor has erupted even though the bill is still in draft st...
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Funny story: Goldman Sachs Rich Employee's Comments Exposed

Goldman Sachs Rich Employee's Comments Exposed

Goldman Sachs tattletale Steve Strong has been exposed. He's the guy that overheard remarks of Goldman employees on the elevators going to its offices. Now his identity is no longer a secret. His twitter account @Goldman Gossip has had a huge audience of people who view remarks made the Sachs workforce. Now that's he's out of business, Goldman Sachs has lifted the ban on company-impose...
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Funny story: eBay Censors Trayvon Martin Auction, Angers Press

eBay Censors Trayvon Martin Auction, Angers Press

George Zimmerman just profited from the murder of Trayvon Martin by auctioning his "original" art for over $100,000, but the eBay online auction site decided to ban a progressive artist's attempts to raise money for the Trayvon Martin Foundation, bra...
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Funny story: Professor Quits Job To Open Brothel In Nevada

Professor Quits Job To Open Brothel In Nevada

DEMOCRACY NOW! TRANSCRIPT This is a rush transcript. Copy may not be in its final form. AMY GOODMAN: Here today with me is Professor Hugh Hurrong who has just resigned from the University of Houston to open a brothel in Nevada. Professor, why did you resign from your position at the university? HUGH HURRONG: Well, Amy, in my role as a Professor of Finance I defended Wall Street, Big...
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Funny story: Santa speaks from the North Pole prior to upcoming interview with FOX news

Santa speaks from the North Pole prior to upcoming interview with FOX news

Santa's residence at the North Pole was dry and sunny with scant snow and ice--a concern the reindeers might not get the sled off the ground smoothly--but Santa himself was maintaining a fierce grin under massive white beard. This interview prior...
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Funny story: Wall Street Banks' Financial Dealings Stump the Lord Almighty

Wall Street Banks' Financial Dealings Stump the Lord Almighty

Dateline: NEW YORK--A cabal of Wall Street bankers runs a global crime syndicate that buys the regulators of their industry, rigs the rules of the market, and uses convoluted financial instruments and bogus mathematical models to siphon cash from the...
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Funny story: America, Love It or Leave It says Milton Freeman

America, Love It or Leave It says Milton Freeman

New York - The jobless rate in the U.S. has dipped to a five year low on steady gains. Employers hired at least 200,000 workers in the last four months. President Obama, upon hearing the news, said he was "ecstatic" and that the economy was "stup...
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