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Funny satire stories about Vegetarianism

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Vegan, Vegetarian and Now Gardenetarian

Funny story: Vegan, Vegetarian and Now Gardenetarian

Following on from Vegetarian and Vegan, fussy Britons are turning to an even more economical way of eating healthily called Gardenetarian. The trend consists of eating anything you can find in yours and your neighbours gardens. Mr Michael Hunt...

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‘I saw Jezza’s sausage’ says nightclub worker.

Jeremy Corbyn’s team were in turmoil last night after a 36 year-old pole dancer, who performs under the stage name of Sturdy Annuals, claimed to have seen the Labour leader tucking into bangers and mash in a Camden café. Sturdy (real name Kylie Le...

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Vegetarian & Muslim prisoners in UK prison released because pork is on the menu!

Funny story: Vegetarian & Muslim prisoners in UK prison released because pork is on the menu!

A luxury UK prison in Boston, UK (logical), crowned as the 'cushiest' prison in the UK, only accepts meat-eating inmates because the canteen only serves pork from local pigs, and vegetarian or Muslim inmates cannot be allowed to go hungry! The pri...

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Brazil leads world in persuading it to become vegetarians by flogging rotten meat!

Funny story: Brazil leads world in persuading it to become vegetarians by flogging rotten meat!

The Brazilian government have decided to jump on the vegan / vegetarian bandwagon by forcing it's meat producers to flog rotting meat to the rest of the world! Brazilian meat companies are earning mega-bucks by exporting rotting carcasses because...

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Vegetarians disgusted by Facon bombshell

Funny story: Vegetarians disgusted by Facon bombshell

Vegetarian and religious groups the world over have renounced the companies producing vegetarian bacon slices after it emerged that the products are derived from pork. The companies concerned say that they chemically remove everything in the product...

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Veggies linked to poorer semen quality says glowing tampon manufacturer

Funny story: Veggies linked to poorer semen quality says glowing tampon manufacturer

California - Vegetarians and other non-flesh eaters are most likely to be shooting blanks these days according to a sanitary protection specialist pimping glow-in-the-dark tampons. The manufacturers of RadiantPlugs periodwear said today that thou...

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New Study Shows Blood of Newborn Babies Is Harmful to Health and the Environment

Funny story: New Study Shows Blood of Newborn Babies Is Harmful to Health and the Environment

Breaking research from the public interest group Consumers Committee for Responsible Consumption (CCRC) shows that the blood of newborn babies, long-touted for its high iron content and other supposed health benefits, is actually detrimental not only...

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Meat eaters lie, are sex mad and need prostitutes!

Funny story: Meat eaters lie, are sex mad and need prostitutes!

Indian vegetarians have discovered that since McDonalds opened a chain of veggy restaurants in the country sex crimes have been reduced by 25% and men lying to their wives has radically been reduced by 50%! Non-consumption of meat products tends t...

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Vegetarians call for a Bacon Ban

Funny story: Vegetarians call for a Bacon Ban

Vegetarians based in Altrincham, Cheshire, have asked for a complete ban on bacon following the alarming news that more vegetarians have fallen off the wagon due to thinly sliced meat than for any other reason. "It's the smell of cooking bacon," s...

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Bill Clinton Promotes Hitler-Style Vegetarianism at World Rodeo Convention

Funny story: Bill Clinton Promotes Hitler-Style Vegetarianism at World Rodeo Convention

Many rodeo-goers expressed surprise, even shock, at the announcement that former United States president Bill Clinton would be the keynote speaker at the 2012 World Rodeo Convention in Houston, Texas. For one, media sources have in recent years repor...

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Ipswich Man Wins Right to Eat Cat

Funny story: Ipswich Man Wins Right to Eat Cat

An East Anglian man has been given the all clear by the High Court in London to eat his pet cat paving the way for more Britons to cook, fry, boil and roast their pets. The landmark decision is seen as triumph for civil liberties claim many watche...

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The Mystery of The Man-Eating Hedge Pt I

Funny story: The Mystery of The Man-Eating Hedge Pt I

The Conundrum Club, London, 1895 Colonel Gulper (CG): This Carpetbag Steak's damned chewy, what? Reverend Milke (RM): With respect, Colonel, that is a carpetbag you've got on your plate. CG: What? Of course it's a carpetbag, you fool. I just said it was a carpetbag, a deuced chewy one, or are you going deaf in your old age, Reverend, what? RM: No, Colonel, that is a bag, a carpet bag.

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Unfit, Overweight Vegetarian and Vegan Inspire Millions of Americans to Go Veg

Funny story: Unfit, Overweight Vegetarian and Vegan Inspire Millions of Americans to Go Veg

Ingrid Newkirk, President of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), and Kevin Lawson, President of the National Vegetarian Society, knew they needed a new approach to recruiting new vegetarians and vegans. "Americans weren't relating...

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Evolution Takes GIANT Leap Forward: NY Cat Turns Vegan!

Funny story: Evolution Takes GIANT Leap Forward: NY Cat Turns Vegan!

What if the law of the jungle were also the law of kindness, compassion, and love? Well, if East Village kitty Sammy Mesda has anything to do with it, one day it very well could be. Sammy, whose blackness, litheness, and sleekness can only call...

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Romney Urges Americans to Eat More Red Meat

Funny story: Romney Urges Americans to Eat More Red Meat

In an effort to solidify support in the Midwest, Mitt Romney held a press conference in Jefferson City, Missouri, to address what he called a "glaring gap" in Republican policy: nutrition. Romney told carnivorous voters that Missouri, the second-lead...

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New vegetarian muesli set to hit shelves soon

Funny story: New vegetarian muesli set to hit shelves soon

The makers of the Alpine brand of muesli have announced that they will soon be producing a vegetarian version of their famous muesli breakfast cereal. Whereas standard Alpine, and indeed most makes of muesli contain approximately two percent meat pr...

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Vegetarian Rage As Harry Styles Out Of One Direction Papped Eating Meat Pie In Dorking

Funny story: Vegetarian Rage As Harry Styles Out Of One Direction Papped Eating Meat Pie In Dorking

Vegetarians the length and breadth of the nation were up in arms following the publication of photographs clearly showing Harry out of One Direction tucking into a Tesco's minced beef and onion pie in Dorking. High profile foodies blame Harry's sp...

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Disclaimers and Vegetarians - My Opinion

Sometimes you'll see the disclaimer, "No animals were harmed during the making of this film", at the end of a movie. I think that's a rather bold statement. I'm watching the movie thinking, "I know for a fact around the time they were making this movie that I ran over a squirrel and accidentally locked my cat in a closet over a weekend." Did they have a crew go out and survey people? They s...

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Breaking news…

Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
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