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Funny satire stories about Vegetables

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Funny story: Government Crackdown On Rude Vegetables

Government Crackdown On Rude Vegetables

The government has announced a crackdown on suggestively-shaped vegetables following numerous complains from the public. In one incident, Olive Lilley from North Kensington had an unfortunate encounter with a phallic potato. Lilley, 82, had just o...
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Funny story: Strange Vegetables, Fruits From Fukushima Begin Appearing In Local Food Stores

Strange Vegetables, Fruits From Fukushima Begin Appearing In Local Food Stores

Springfield, PA-- Bizarre mutated produce from Fukushima Japan has begun appearing in local grocery stores. Nightmarish food created from the world's worst nuclear disaster is being sold to consumers. The government says there is no radioactivity,...
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Funny story: Secret To Success Finally Revealed By Simon Cowell

Secret To Success Finally Revealed By Simon Cowell

Simon Cowell, high trousered music mogul and inventor of the sarcastic put-down to already inferior people, has sensationally revealed the secret to his fantastic success in everything he does. Parsnips. That's right, parsnips. And lot's of them.
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Funny story: Is Michelle Obama on the Ropes?

Is Michelle Obama on the Ropes?

Shocking results of a new study that looked at the effects of diet on life span are shaking up dieticians and health care workers worldwide. Published in the March Journal of Diet and Health Environment, the study showed that there is an undeniable...
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Funny story: Vegetable Show Drama

Vegetable Show Drama

Local farmer Arthur Choke, better known as Artie, caused a stir at the annual Edinburgh vegetable show yesterday. Farmer Choke, famed for his prize giant cucumbers, withdrew his competition entry, drawing speculation from other competitors. Whe...
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Funny story: Dentists want a reduction from 5-a-day

Dentists want a reduction from 5-a-day

Dentists across the UK are opposed to government measures to increase the so-called 5-a-day, and want the opposite. "We need Britons to reduce to three a day, or even two a day," said Denby Twist of the Dorking Dentistry School. "The last thing we...
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Funny story: Cabbage Farmer Reduced To Begging In The Streets Of London

Cabbage Farmer Reduced To Begging In The Streets Of London

Horatio Hepplewhite, a cabbage farmer from Lincolnshire has resorted to holding out a begging bowl in the streets of London, following this year's catastrophic cabbage crop failure. "I was expecting to harvest about a hundred tons of cabbages," He...
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Funny story: UK Facing Catastrophic Cabbage Shortages

UK Facing Catastrophic Cabbage Shortages

Environmentalists and farmers issued an ominous statement on Sunday, to the effect that not only is the UK facing a double dip recession, but the nation is also likely to be blighted by a serious shortage of cabbages. One observer cited a shortage...
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Funny story: Hopes fade for Tasty Droitwich Harvest Festival 2011

Hopes fade for Tasty Droitwich Harvest Festival 2011

Worcestershire - Autumn gales have battered the ancient Spa town famous for its Dead Sea-comparable salinity and carnal - er..canal! - marina developments. This morning 75mp gusts decimated the local allotment society's show gardens sending severa...
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Funny story: Organ playing Dorking pensioner in rhubarb scandal

Organ playing Dorking pensioner in rhubarb scandal

A Dorking vegetable grower has barricaded himself in his garden shed after being accused of stealing rhubarb from an adjoining allotment. Retired maths teacher Cyril Nonce, aged 88, had been reported to the police by his vigilant next door neighbo...
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Funny story: Government to link tax on food to calories

Government to link tax on food to calories

The British government has come up with a unique plan to raise funds by adding a Calorie Added Tax to all food stuff. This CAT is directly related to the calorie content of food such that one calorie equals one pence. Whilst this will have little...
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Funny story: Eric Pickles to open Food Market at Whitehall HQ

Eric Pickles to open Food Market at Whitehall HQ

There is so much un-used space at Whitehall HQ that Eric Pickles has come up with a marvellous idea to rent the space to be used as a huge food hall. Apparently, he plans to rent some of the space himself and set up a new business, to be named Pic...
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Funny story: New Cauliflower mutant

New Cauliflower mutant

A mutant Cauliflower is striking fear and horror into every section of the community. 'This is a new type of cauliflower' said Prof Dumble 'it can walk and jump at you when you are not looking!' This dreadful being grasps your stomach and turn...
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Funny story: Courgettes are the new Cucumbers

Courgettes are the new Cucumbers

As a result of the recent deaths caused by tainted cucumbers, Health Organizations world-wide are encouraging people to switch to eating courgettes. This, sometimes ignored vegetable, is a great substitute in any recipe calling for cucumbers. C...
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Funny story: Vegetable weaponry being tested by German Army

Vegetable weaponry being tested by German Army

In the light of the recent Cucumber attacks in Germany we understand that tests and experiments are being carried out in secret, using vegetables. Using minority groups as test subjects, they are being exposed to various vegetables being used with...
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Funny story: Broccoli is not a vegetable

Broccoli is not a vegetable

Fresh from the controversy over the scientific rebranding of aubergines, peppers, tomatoes and cucumbers as fruit that forced a major reshuffle in supermarkets around the country, scientists have now announced that broccoli is not a vegetable either.
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Funny story: Pete Doherty In Bavarian Burglary Shambles

Pete Doherty In Bavarian Burglary Shambles

Mad Rocker Pete Doherty has been arrested after breaking into a record shop in the Bavarian town of Regensburg in Germany. The former Libertines & Babyshambles frontman was caught stealing a bundle of records and also a guitar. An eye-witness...
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Funny story: Fruit and Vegetable sex toys

Fruit and Vegetable sex toys

A recent survey carried out by Girl Play magazine has revealed a liking of fruit and vegetables as sex toys among sexually active and adventurous women. "The most popular vegetable was the carrot," said magazine editor, Andrea Fuller. "Women repor...
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Breaking News...

Obama Calls Secret Service On Sheet-Clad Trick-or-Treaters

Obama, not aware of its being Halloween, called the Secret Service on some sheet-clad ghost trick-or-treaters. "I was afraid they were going to burn a cross on the lawn," spoke a terrorized Obama.
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