BOSTON - Save Darfur student groups at universities across Suffolk County proudly report that they believe awareness of their message is at an all time high. By distributing thousands of bumper stickers to friends and family, wearing customized sili...
Middle-ranking universities face extinction within the next decade, according to a leading soothsayer.
Claire Voyunt, chief oracle, warned that even posh universities could struggle to survive if big cursers start venting their anger with vitrioli...
More and more girls are avoiding universities because of the increase in bees observed in academia.
Female school-leavers are now 50 per cent less likely than males to end up at university.
Many girls really hate bees, and the thought of being...
Increasing numbers of Britain's students are using hand-made drugs to boost their academic performance.
Typically, students facing exams wrap a cosy rug around themselves whilst complaining that the exam hall is too cold. This procedure enables s...
Every student, at universities across the country, will be given a Christmas card under a scheme to make them feel more welcome on campus. In order to qualify, students will have to attend at least one lecture before terms ends in mid-December.
In...
Bar staff at a Humberside pub could get extra payments - thanks to the unquenchable thirst of hardworking lecturers and professors at the local university.
Since the introduction of all-day drinking, senior academics at Humberside University frequ...
U.S. college graduates, fed up with the job market and slow economy, have began wiping their asses with their diplomas in protest.
The nationwide protests, known as the "Univershitty Protests," have spread online via social networks as th...
CHARLOTTESVILLE, Virginia - A group of over 100 students at the University of Virginia (U.Va.) declared on Friday that they were following the footsteps of several professors who resigned earlier over the university president's "near-death" experienc...
Faced with being on the borderline for acceptance to his preferred university place, an eighteen-year-old from Basingstoke has written a letter to the university's Maths department purporting to show that although he was awarded a B grade in Maths, i...
UNIVERSITY PARK, Pennsylvania - A spokesperson for the highly scandalized Penn State University has just confirmed reports that the school board of directors has voted unanimously to remove the 7-foot tall, 901 pound statue of former head coach Joe P...
UNIVERSITY PARK, Pennsylvania - Penn State University spokesperson Calhoun "Lips" Lippalino called a press conference and informed the news media that the university has received a certified letter from the NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Associat...
The England football team's chances of winning the Euro 2012 tournament have been rated as 0.000756% by a leading Dorking Professor, writes Sport, Fishing, Linoleum, Commercial Grass Cultivation, Wheelbarrow Design, Spats, Mathematics & Entertain...
The University of Dorking has been rocked by a controversy that threatens to have major repercussions for one of its prestige Departments, writes Storm In A Teacup Correspondent, Will Slather.
This controversy, which threatens major repercussions,...
A top academic reckons he has the perfect answer to 'pushy parents' who are increasingly encouraging their children to query marks at institutions such as Oxford University.
These parents have become accustomed to paying for re-sits and re-marks a...
Durham University plans to become the "Oxbridge of the North" with an ambitious plan to hire 50 extra professors and develop innovative areas of research.
Like Oxford and Cambidge, historic Durham operates a collegiate system, but it has never ran...
Cambridge, U.K. - Researchers at Cambridge University have found that, when constructing titles for online publications, doesn't matter what type or genre they are, just online ones, nothing specific, are more likely to be read by the vast majority of people, i.e. the audience, readers, those lumps of organic material staring blindly into cyberspace , hoping to be awaken by some thunderbolt of int...
A top local academic has welcomed the Education Secretary's announcement that universities will take control of A-level syllabuses.
In a letter to Ofqal, the qualifications watchdog, Michael Gove announced that ministers would relinquish control o...
DURANGO, Colorado - Students at Durango Junior College were jumping up and down with joy when they learned that a state judge had issued a ruling that students at Colorado colleges and universities will now be allowed to carry handguns on campus.