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Funny story: Elementary schoolchildren to be forced to pay for own education under the new federal "Fuck Yo Kids" initiative

Elementary schoolchildren to be forced to pay for own education under the new federal "Fuck Yo Kids" initiative

A new federal law that ensures that children will no longer mooch off taxpayer money in order obtain an education at public elementary schools will take effect in 2017. The "Fuck Yo Kids" initiative will force the majority of schoolchildren in the...
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Funny story: Ohio private school implements neighborhood re-brand - "The Ghetto"

Ohio private school implements neighborhood re-brand - "The Ghetto"

Since the beginning weeks of their academic semester, both the University of Dayton administration and student body have been under pressure to change the racial culture that currently exists on campus. After myriad student newspaper articles and stu...
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Funny story: Man Uses Minimum Amount of Toilet Paper to Avoid Responsibility of Changing the Roll

Man Uses Minimum Amount of Toilet Paper to Avoid Responsibility of Changing the Roll

Armidale, NSW - BA student Kyle Sanders, boarding in university accommodation, reportedly left the bathroom yesterday following a 'comfort stop' in which he used only 4 squares of toilet paper, the bare minimum required to avoid having to change the...
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Funny story: NUS bans Holocaust Commemoration at UK Unis

NUS bans Holocaust Commemoration at UK Unis

Notable Champagne-Humanitarian-Edgy-Rhetorical-Club, the NUS (National-Kropotkinite Union of Sympathisers) have taken advantage of the post-exam lull by sneaking in a typically creative and imaginative motion. The motion was passed by 19 votes to...
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Funny story: Universities to Close

Universities to Close

A number of unauthenticated online universities have been ordered to close their gateways by education and government officials. The aim is to make an example of fake universities that provide degrees for students who do not want to spend three pl...
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Funny story: Matthew's Suicide Note

Matthew's Suicide Note

Scotland Yard Police are trying to trace the origins of a suicide note. Police were summoned to Blackfriars Bridge last night when a man out walking his dog spotted a pair of boots mid-way across the bridge on the pavement beside a briefcase full of...
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Funny story: "Party disguised as independents" dominate student council elections

"Party disguised as independents" dominate student council elections

WATERFALLS, LAND OF THE MORNING (Bunbunmaru Newspaper) -- Last 18 January 2015, a political background equality programme was launched in Kamishirasawa Falls University in preparation for their student council elections. However, during the day of...
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Funny story: Homeless Man Accepts He Has No Role At All To Play In Emerging Social Order

Homeless Man Accepts He Has No Role At All To Play In Emerging Social Order

New York - Homeless Man Bill Watson stumbled into what he thought was a soup kitchen but was really a basement meeting of socialist professors and students from nearby Columbia University and learned that he is not only "useless," but is actually an...
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Funny story: Harvard Faculty Resign En Masse over New Sex Rules--"If we can't bonk our students," say professors, "what's the point of being here?"

Harvard Faculty Resign En Masse over New Sex Rules--"If we can't bonk our students," say professors, "what's the point of being here?"

Cambridge-Nearly half the faculty at Harvard (49.2%) have submitted their resignations to the college over its new policy forbidding sexual relations with students. The group includes LGBT professors and graduate instructors alike, who say that t...
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Funny story: Andy Borowitz Appointed first Professor of Faux News at Harvard

Andy Borowitz Appointed first Professor of Faux News at Harvard

Cambridge-Andy Borowitz, senior faux-news correspondent at the New Yorker, has been appointed Harvard University's first Professor Nuntium Non Genuina Spoofitus(Professor of Double-Take Journalism). Borowitz will begin his duties in October, init...
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Funny story: University officials launch political background equality programme

University officials launch political background equality programme

WATERFALLS, LAND OF THE MORNING (Bunbunmaru Newspaper) -- In line with the upcoming student council elections, the Kamishirasawa Falls University's Office of Student Affairs launched a programme that promotes equality of all students regardless of th...
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Funny story: Tests Indicate Venezuelans Are Most Resilient People On Earth

Tests Indicate Venezuelans Are Most Resilient People On Earth

Tests carried out by Anthropologists trying to cheer up the population of rain sodden Wales have revealed that whatever happens to Venezuelans, they come up smiling and have an unshakable belief that things will get better. The controversial tests...
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Funny story: 'Permanent Special Anti-University Student Response Unit' to be set up

'Permanent Special Anti-University Student Response Unit' to be set up

Following the Multi - Police Officer tazering of demonstrating students at Warwick University, last week, a new, permanent Response Unit, tackling Third Level Undergraduates only, is to be set up. 'The ''Intelligentsia'', contrary to what one migh...
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Funny story: University's New Princess B.A. Attracts Thousands Of Phone Inquiries

University's New Princess B.A. Attracts Thousands Of Phone Inquiries

Mothers with small girls throughout Britain have been besieging colleges such as Oxford with inquiries about degrees and doctorates in Princessology. The new course has been offered to cater for tens of thousands of keen children obsessed with dr...
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Funny story: "Doctorate in Cowboy" Program Gathering Steam at State Schools

"Doctorate in Cowboy" Program Gathering Steam at State Schools

LARAMIE, WYOMING- With the successful launch of the Cowboy Ph.D. programs at Colorado State in Ft. Collins and the University of Wyoming in Laramie, men and women of all stripes seeking a career are flocking to enroll. Especially popular among t...
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Funny story: Western Universities to Offer Cowboy Degree

Western Universities to Offer Cowboy Degree

FORT COLLINS, COLORADO - Colorado State University spokeswoman, Heather St. John, announced today that in light of changing employment needs in the U.S., CSU would be offering B.S. and. Master's Degrees in Cowboy Science. "Our enrollment has dro...
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Funny story: Ohio State University Could Be Relocating To Denver and Become Ohio State University At Denver

Ohio State University Could Be Relocating To Denver and Become Ohio State University At Denver

COLUMBUS, Ohio - Word filtering out of the dean's office at Ohio State University is that the school could be relocating to Denver, Colorado. An inside source stated that the college board of regents is considering the move due to the fact that th...
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Funny story: Professor Quits Job To Open Brothel In Nevada

Professor Quits Job To Open Brothel In Nevada

DEMOCRACY NOW! TRANSCRIPT This is a rush transcript. Copy may not be in its final form. AMY GOODMAN: Here today with me is Professor Hugh Hurrong who has just resigned from the University of Houston to open a brothel in Nevada. Professor, why did you resign from your position at the university? HUGH HURRONG: Well, Amy, in my role as a Professor of Finance I defended Wall Street, Big...
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Trump Declares Hillary Unfair for Using Facts During Debate

Trump was compelled to constantly interrupt Hillary to hide the fact that his nose kept growing.
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