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Funny satire stories about US Homeland Security

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Funny story: Huckabee: U.S. Needs Anti-Sex- League

Huckabee: U.S. Needs Anti-Sex- League

The former Governor of Arkansas, Fox News Host, and Fundamentalist Preacher called today for the formation of an Anti-Sex League. Huckabee recently has been in the news for calling for the cessation of birth control prescriptions provided to women b...
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Funny story: Huckabee Wants Chastity Belts For Virginity

Huckabee Wants Chastity Belts For Virginity

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee and Fox News talk show host has made controversial remarks about female sexuality in the past. Yesterday, Huckabee said on his TV show, "Democrats tell women they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and p...
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Funny story: New Chief At Dep't of Homeland Security Thinks It's A Piece Of Cake

New Chief At Dep't of Homeland Security Thinks It's A Piece Of Cake

The Department of Homeland Security has a new chief, Jeh Johnson. He takes over a department that includes 22 former agencies folded into it. The tasks of Homeland Security involve preventing terrorism through surveillance, disaster relief through...
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Funny story: NSA Supporter Proposes Security Agents in Every U.S. Home to Reduce Unemployment!

NSA Supporter Proposes Security Agents in Every U.S. Home to Reduce Unemployment!

A recent security conference held at Aspen Colorado was sponsored by CNN and emceed by Wolf Blitzer. He opened by saying that he knew how hard it was "to run an operation like this." One of the first to speak was former Attorney General under the Bus...
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Funny story: Romney pledges to give Detroit, Philadephia, Camden and Wilmington to Canada

Romney pledges to give Detroit, Philadephia, Camden and Wilmington to Canada

AMERICAN FORK UT (ABSNN) - Mitt Romney announced Saturday his plan to rid the US of 500,000 Muslims with the stroke of his Presidential pen. He plans to give to Canada the four US cities with the highest population of Muslims: Detroit (300,000), an...
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Funny story: DHS Labels Chicken Fillet Outlet Supporters As Terrorists, Vows Revenge

DHS Labels Chicken Fillet Outlet Supporters As Terrorists, Vows Revenge

Washington, DC-- The Department of Homeland Sissies considers all supporters of a fast-food chicken outlet (which specializes in cooking up the the fillet real nice) as dangerous to America and plans to punish them. Hundreds of thousands of citizens...
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Funny story: Shannon Airport's US Emigration Facilities "Cause Concern." Apparently.

Shannon Airport's US Emigration Facilities "Cause Concern." Apparently.

The future of pre-clearance US emigration facilities at Shannon Airport, Ireland, is causing concern. UK Irish community newspaper The Irish World reports this week: "It comes amid reports that the US Department of Homeland Security is set to redu...
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Funny story: Janet Napolitano, Defends Requiring Border Agents to Run and Hide from Gunmen

Janet Napolitano, Defends Requiring Border Agents to Run and Hide from Gunmen

At a press conference that was held this afternoon at an undisclosed location at Vinny's Sewage and Body Parts Disposal Plant, located at 11524 Drubbing Street, Newark, New Jersey, the head of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano defended new regulat...
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Funny story: Leigh Van Bryan and Emily Bunting compensation could run to $$$ millions

Leigh Van Bryan and Emily Bunting compensation could run to $$$ millions

Birmingham - It's been billed as an ironic twist on John Cleese's notorious 'Sole reason for visit' response to a US visa questionnaire about 'Are You Planning To Overthrow The United States Government By Force?' And it could be a very lucrative d...
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Funny story: Taste the "glitz and glamour" of Hollywood, or enjoy VIP treatment through U$ Homeland Security.

Taste the "glitz and glamour" of Hollywood, or enjoy VIP treatment through U$ Homeland Security.

Los Angeles Docks, California, USA: With the United States having the record for the most stringent and thorough security and entry requirements in the world, with 12 million illegal immigrants roaming around in the country, tensions were running hi...
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Funny story: Homeland Insecurity Warns: Santa Brings Fruitcake

Homeland Insecurity Warns: Santa Brings Fruitcake

North Pole - Homeland Insecurity has a warning for Santa: expect death if you try to enter the Homeland on Christmas Eve. Santa Claus is listed as a 'food extremist' by Homeland Insecurity, and he will be shot out of the skies if he attempts to inva...
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Funny story: Colonial Tourist Claims Title of "Man With World's Largest Penis" after Airport Scan at JFK !

Colonial Tourist Claims Title of "Man With World's Largest Penis" after Airport Scan at JFK !

Due to unintended consequences, a normal man, quite ordinary in fact according to neighbors, was recently found to be "The Man With The World's Largest Penis' after a full body scan as he passed through JFK airport on his way to Britain on Holiday.
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Obama... Ordinary like us.

Yesterday, President Obama was refused entry into a restaurant for not wearing a tie and later fined for double parking and... ordered to return his library books... and thrown off a tram...and...

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