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Obituary: United States of America, 240, died January 8, 2017, all at once on Capitol Hill, due to absolute shock

Funny story: Obituary: United States of America, 240, died January 8, 2017, all at once on Capitol Hill, due to absolute shock

The United States of America died of a massive cardiac arrest due what one doctor stated was "absolute shock" while Donald J. Trump was being sworn in as 45th POTUS. Cardiologist on the scene stated that the attack must have been building up for som...

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Donald J. "The Donald" Trump Makes the Preamble to the Constitution Great Again

Funny story: Donald J. "The Donald" Trump Makes the Preamble to the Constitution Great Again

Read the Constitution? Why not write -or re-write- the Constitution? That's Donald J. Trump's new obsession: "fixing" the Constitution he believes is somehow broken. Trump's fascination with the document that has been the basis for American polit...

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Trump Vows To "Renovate" the Bill of Rights

Funny story: Trump Vows To "Renovate" the Bill of Rights

If anyone in this "great" land knows anything about renovation, it may well be presidential hopeful Donald J. Trump. A veteran of the real estate industry for several decades now, Trump surely has renovated his share of properties, buildings and eve...

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Trump Says Putin Is His Role Model

Funny story: Trump Says Putin Is His Role Model

Wikileaks revealed today that it has obtained copies of e-mails between Donald Trump and Russian strongman Vladimir Putin. In the e-mails Trump asks the neo-fascist leader how he can emulate his policies. Here are excerpts from the e-mails that are...

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Northern invasion of South 'illegal'

Revisionist historians have claimed that the so-called American Civil War of the 1860s was actually the invasion of a foreign country by the Union and thus illegal under its own Constitution. Recently leaked top secret documents from the US Nation...

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The New, Improved Pledge of Allegiance

Funny story: The New, Improved Pledge of Allegiance

As it now stands, the Pledge of Allegiance as commonly recited in schools and at sporting events and political rallies is too simple and easy. One can chew on it without really tasting the Constitution. It allows one to dress up in the flag feeling all patriotic, self-righteous, and godly when one may be, in reality, venal and totally corrupt. Therefore, this New Pledge of Allegiance is propose...

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U. S. Constitution Found Dead in an Alley in Washington, D.C. GOP Being Held as a Person of Interest

Funny story: U. S. Constitution Found Dead in an Alley in Washington, D.C. GOP Being Held as a Person of Interest

WASHINGTON, D. C.--The Constitution was found dead last Thursday evening in a back alley, its bullet-ridden body soaked in blood. Suspiciously, article five of the Constitution, which begins, "The Congress, whenever two thirds of both houses shall d...

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Trump Jury Duty Could End Trial By Jury in The US

Funny story: Trump Jury Duty Could End Trial By Jury in The US

For the first time in American legal history, a jury has petition the U.S. Congress to eliminate the six amendment to the constitution--the right to a trial by a jury of one's peers. This stunning development occurred last night in New York. Jurors...

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Obama Introduces Educational Reforms

Funny story: Obama Introduces Educational Reforms

To a packed gathering of invited newspaper journalists at the Press Room of the White House, President Obama has announced sweeping reforms of the U.S. education system. The speech was greeted by rapturous applause,... except for one man whom security had to bundle from the hall for swearing obscenities about "lies!", "damned hypocrisy!", and "fascist mind control!". Here is the speech in fu...

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Second Amendment Right To Bear Arms To Be Scrapped

Funny story: Second Amendment Right To Bear Arms To Be Scrapped

The Second Amendment (Amendment II) to the United States Constitution which protects the right of individuals to keep and bear arms will be written out of the constitution at midnight. After reading the original minutes of the meeting, written dur...

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Chicago Drug Dealer Uses Don Blackman Record To Travel Back In Time and Sell High Grade Marijuana to Founding Fathers

Funny story: Chicago Drug Dealer Uses Don Blackman Record To Travel Back In Time and Sell High Grade Marijuana to Founding Fathers

The History of the U.S. is being rewritten by a Chicago drug dealer who discovered that spinning his copy of the record 'Heart's Desire' by groove legend Don Blackman opens a wormhole allowing him to travel back in time to the late 18th Century. S...

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Judge Leon versus Judge Pauley in the NSA championships officiated by General Hayden

Funny story: Judge Leon versus Judge Pauley in the NSA championships officiated by General Hayden

No sooner had Judge Leon delivered the hard smash on to the very top of the net, with General Hayden's nose inches to one side (observing), than Judge Pauley lunged inward and scooped up the tottering ball, lofting it over and to a far corner of the...

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Paranormal summoned to Madison's tomb on whether NSA programs should swing from a tall oak tree

Funny story: Paranormal summoned to Madison's tomb on whether NSA programs should swing from a tall oak tree

News offices today are scrambling to verify reports that certain world leaders have been recommending the oak tree "solution" for current NSA surveillance programs. Another developing angle stems from unusual noise in the vicinity of President Ma...

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Arkansas becomes next battleground in Arms Debate

JONESBORO, AR- Members of Parent-Teacher Organizations in 20 school districts filed lawsuits in county courts throughout the state of Arkansas today, challenging school dress codes. The lawsuits specifically target provisions against sleeveless shirt...

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More People Killed by Hammers and Clubs than Rifles

Funny story: More People Killed by Hammers and Clubs than Rifles

It appears the Congress would be better off banning carpenters tools than making rifles illegal. Statistics released by the FBI reveal that in 2005 the number of people murdered with a rifle was 445 while carpenters and handymen and ball players k...

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Palin and Trump visit Harlem School get history lesson

Funny story: Palin and Trump visit Harlem School get history lesson

NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) - Constitutional scholar Sarah Palin railed against the American electorate Tuesday night saying "I can't believe people would ignore the US Constitution and elect a man who refuses to balance the budget." Palin was acting as a...

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Gun Rights Supporters Call for New Amendment

Funny story: Gun Rights Supporters Call for New Amendment

WASHINGTON, DC - Around 30 protestors gathered in DC on Friday, calling the Second Amendment "long-outdated" and asking Congress to do something about it. The right to bear arms has been defended by the National Rifle Association (NRA) and many gu...

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Southern Republican Primaries Prove that School is Still Spelled with a K

Funny story: Southern Republican Primaries Prove that School is Still Spelled with a K

Republican primaries continue throughout the south and the fever pitch around voting Obama out of office is building amongst the Christian right and the uneducated middle. Based on some recent quotes, facts, history, and temperance apparently have no...

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Breaking news…

Better Investigative Use of Mueller's Prosecutory Focus

While Mueller diddle-daddles over non-existent matters in Trump's campaign, real crimes in the Catholic church go unpunished! Plenty criminality in Popedom to keep an 'independent' counsel busy!
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