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Funny story: Britain becomes third world country due to lack of third runway at Heathrow

Britain becomes third world country due to lack of third runway at Heathrow

LONDON, ENGLAND - The damning economic report issued today revealed the lowest GDP growth figures in British history, effectively rendering Britain a third world country. Economists, politicians and self-proclaimed "experts" from down the pub wer...
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Funny story: New British government unveiled

New British government unveiled

After weeks of chaos following the referendum on whether Britain should tell the rest of the world to fuck off or not, the dust has finally settled. A new UK government is in place and ready to go ahead with implementing "fuck off". Under new prim...
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Funny story: Darling Bud Of May

Darling Bud Of May

Newly unelected (by the people, yes we understand she was elected by the Tory party) Prime Minister Theresa May has had a historic meeting with Scotland's First Minister Nicola Sturgeon today. Admitting that the meeting was "positive" and that "all o...
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Funny story: Britain Leaves Its Favorite Panties At Old Boyfriend's Apartment!

Britain Leaves Its Favorite Panties At Old Boyfriend's Apartment!

London, UK, Britain, England - It appears that after the torrid and heart-wrenching breakup (which Brexit's boyfriend, E.U. didn't really think she had the nerve to do) she's really leaving this time! But now after storming out, she's forgotten t...
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Funny story: EU makes dramatic U-turn over Brexit! "Kick the Brits out" they are saying now!

EU makes dramatic U-turn over Brexit! "Kick the Brits out" they are saying now!

It seems the EU have English, moronic, football fans causing riots in Marseille, France, to thank for in making an ultimate decision to either support a Brexit or be against the UK leaving the community! European leaders, Germans, French, Spanish,...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Hopes To Assuage UK Leaders When He Meets With Big Ben

Donald Trump Hopes To Assuage UK Leaders When He Meets With Big Ben

Facing widespread condemnation from US Allies, Donald Trump is on a charm offensive to win over his critics in the UK and prove once and for all that he has the temperament to be a world leader. "I'm going to meet with Big Ben," the Don Tweeted, "...
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Funny story: How do We Improve Our Prisons?

How do We Improve Our Prisons?

"UK Prison Reform. A serious issue that needs to be taken seriously." (BBC London. 19/05/2016) Some suggestions. 1. Daily full body massages. 2. Freely available prostitutes. 3. Boxing stadiums. 4. Regular visiting entertainers like Rolf Harris or Boris Johnson. 5. Comprehensive menu prepared by Gordon Ramsay. 6. Wine, spirits and beer available with all meals. 7. Prescr...
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Funny story: Public Resort To The Supernatural To Decide EU Referendum Decision

Public Resort To The Supernatural To Decide EU Referendum Decision

A MORI poll published yesterday indicates that many UK residents have abandoned reason as a means of making a decision in the EU referendum. They are instead planning to seek guidance from supernatural sources. 'It has become increasingly apparent...
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Funny story: Prime Minister Penned in Piggate

Prime Minister Penned in Piggate

UK Prime Minister Call Me Dave has admitted that he once had sexual intercourse with a pig as part of a game of 'Truth or Dare.' The game was carried out as part of the future prime minister's initiation into the exclusive and infamous 'Knobs Klub...
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Funny story: UKIP! The Musical Is Coming to Theatres Near You

UKIP! The Musical Is Coming to Theatres Near You

UKIP has decided to forego its political ambitions in favour of becoming an all-singing, all-dancing musical theatre troupe. The party's leader Nigel Farage is believed to be pursuing the extreme change of directions in the hopes of achieving a le...
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Funny story: UK Border Agency face illegal workers fine

UK Border Agency face illegal workers fine

The UK Border Agency are facing £20,000 fines after immigration checks carried out by themselves found they had employed illegal workers. UK Border Agency officers carried out a raid on their own offices in London on Thursday. In the UKBA offic...
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Funny story: David Cameron gives thumbs up to 'deep fat fried fox' clause

David Cameron gives thumbs up to 'deep fat fried fox' clause

As it looks more and more likely that the Scottish National Party (SNP) will block a vote on fox hunting regulations in England and Wales David Cameron has voiced support for a proposed deal between the current UK government and the Scottish National...
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Funny story: Call Me Dave Redefines Child Poverty

Call Me Dave Redefines Child Poverty

UK Prime Minister Call Me Dave has announced dramatic plans to redefine poverty in his continuing mission to further his career and improve his popularity amongst Blue Party backbenchers. The move is in line with the Party's General Popularity con...
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Funny story: Throwing own faeces found out to be number one way to getting served at bar first

Throwing own faeces found out to be number one way to getting served at bar first

Studies at the University of Central Lancashire have found that throwing your own faeces and waste at bar staff is the number one way to getting served first in a bar or restaurant. The research found the tactic, which is employed by some angry...
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Funny story: UK Eurovision entry bids to become first song to score minus points

UK Eurovision entry bids to become first song to score minus points

With only a day to go until the final, UK entry Evacuated Bowel say that they want to go one better than the last few dismal efforts and actually register a negative score. Their song, 'I Want Your Ear Wax All Over Me', is an up-beat reggae song that...
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Funny story: Jeremy Clarkson more important than German air crash

Jeremy Clarkson more important than German air crash

It seems as though while the rest of the planet are mourning the death of 150 passengers in the German Wings tragic air crash, British news readers feel that something slightly more in the light entertainment news genre is much more important. Bri...
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Funny story: Formerly Deceased King Richard III Joins Social Media

Formerly Deceased King Richard III Joins Social Media

The former corpse and monarch is set to involve himself in the 21st Century by joining various social media. The king was resurrected by royalist necromancers in 2012 but has maintained a low profile since his return to life. Richard III was ki...
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Funny story: Queen Defends The Fabulous

Queen Defends The Fabulous

The Queen of the Purple Isles has hit back at suggestions that The Fabulous should be banned from socialising with so-called 'Ordinaries'. Harry Rump of the Roundguts claimed that The Fabulous are a bizarre group who differ on every conceivable so...
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Trump Declares Hillary Unfair for Using Facts During Debate

Trump was compelled to constantly interrupt Hillary to hide the fact that his nose kept growing.
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