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Funny story: U2 Named Third Greatest Band of All-Time in Alternate Reality Where U2 Died in Plane Crash in 1987

U2 Named Third Greatest Band of All-Time in Alternate Reality Where U2 Died in Plane Crash in 1987

NEW YORK, NY--Sources from a parallel universe where all the members of Irish rock band U2 died in a plane crash during their 1987 Joshua Tree Tour reported today that Rolling Stone's annual "Greatest Bands of All-Time" listed the late band as the th...
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Funny story: U2's Adam Upset Over "Greedy" Gibe

U2's Adam Upset Over "Greedy" Gibe

Adam Clayton, bass player with Irish megastar rock band U2, is said to be "upset and in hiding" following a court case in which his personal assistant was jailed for seven years. Carol Hawkins was jailed by Judge Patrick McCartan at Dublin's Circu...
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Funny story: Paul McCartney and Rolling Stones to Pay for Breast Implant Replacements

Paul McCartney and Rolling Stones to Pay for Breast Implant Replacements

In Parliament today, angry protestors pushed their way through security pulling a hose from a tanker truck filled with thousands of gallons of industrial silicone. The kind alledged to be in thousands of breast implants in thousands of women. The...
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Funny story: Bing-No: Bono Bans Bingo On Bands Bus

Bing-No: Bono Bans Bingo On Bands Bus

Short-arsed Irish singing turd, Bono, has banned bingo on the U2 tour bus, say insiders. The loud-mouthed leprechaun had a hissy-fit after bassist Adam Clayton won three times on the trot. Bono, almost named after the famous dog treat, is said to...
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Funny story: U2 Announce New "Understatement" tour

U2 Announce New "Understatement" tour

U2 are eagerly planning to get back on the road having been inroduced to the concept of Understatement by listening to a bunch of records they are planning to rip-off in an insipid and half assed manner. The "Understatement" tour will be carried f...
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Funny story: U2 Rock Glastonbury... Phew!

U2 Rock Glastonbury... Phew!

Torrential rain failed to dampen the spirits of the Glastonbury crowds last night as they rocked out to headliners U2. And there was a huge communal sigh of relief as the world's biggest rock band successfully trawled through their 30-year back-ca...
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Funny story: Glastonbury Festival 2011 a Mudbath yet again

Glastonbury Festival 2011 a Mudbath yet again

Torrential rain greeted the first people to reach Worthy Farm. More than 130,000 people have already arrived on site at Worthy Farm, Pilton, and a further 7,000 are expected today. They face muddy conditions on the first day of Glastonbury and ha...
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Funny story: U2 Reschedule U.S And Canada Dates

U2 Reschedule U.S And Canada Dates

The world has been rocked by the news that rock act U2's Bono has rescheduled dates in the U.S and Canada. It has long been acknowledged that the singer has become one of the most influential men in global politics, regularly appearing at world pe...
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Funny story: U2 Announce New Album

U2 Announce New Album

Following Bono's back injury in 2010 that led to worldwide gigs being cancelled, U2 have moved quickly to pacify fans by releasing an album of previously unheard demos under their working titles. "How To Dismantle A Touring Schedule" will be available on Tuesday. Provisional track listing believed to be - Agony, Bloody Agony Sciatica, In The Name Of The Wee Man With Or Without Ibupr...
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Funny story: U2 come clean over Glasto cancellation!

U2 come clean over Glasto cancellation!

Bono, also known as The Crow, or the prick with sunglasses has had to pull U2 for performing at Glastonbury's 150th anniversary for fears that the Irish rock band might be attacked by disgruntled fans. The band that has been releasing top ten shits s...
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Funny story: Bono Recovering from Emergency Ego Surgery

Bono Recovering from Emergency Ego Surgery

U2 frontman Bono was recovering well yesterday from emergency surgery to combat injuries sustained while he was preparing for his latest US Tour, writes Sal Volatile, Entertainment Correspondent. U2 promoter Arthur Goebbels confirmed that all 16 U...
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Funny story: U2 agree to Replace Bono on 360 Tour

U2 agree to Replace Bono on 360 Tour

Following the news that the lead singer of U2, "The Bono" is to have his entire spine removed so that it can be blessed by the Pope, the remaining band members have taken steps to replace the star for their summer tour dates. The controversial dec...
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Funny story: Bono to be put down after pulling out of Glastonbury

Bono to be put down after pulling out of Glastonbury

Bono the popular Irish terrier and lead singer of rock/pop/dance/rap/punk/crap/sh*t/b*llocks band U2 is to be put down after breaking his back in a bizarre accident. The pint sized pup was rehearsing for an appearance at Glastonbury next month whe...
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Funny story: The Wurzels to step in for U2 at Glastonbury

The Wurzels to step in for U2 at Glastonbury

Following the shock announcement that U2 have had to cancel their headline gig at Glastonbury, Michael Eavis confirmed this afternoon that The Wurzels would be taking over their slot. He said that the band would be ramping up their stage show to sui...
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Funny story: Bono Plans To Turn Beverley Hillbillies Theme Into Stadium Anthem

Bono Plans To Turn Beverley Hillbillies Theme Into Stadium Anthem

U2 frontman and tireless campaigner for lost causes, Bono, today announced that he plans to make the theme tune from 60's US comedy show 'The Beverley Hillbillies' into a stadium anthem. "I watched reruns of the show as a kid and I loved it," Bono...
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Funny story: U2 Accident Feared

U2 Accident Feared

Stories are running rampant that Bono, legendary leader of the rock group U2, has met up with a serious accident. His behaviour has become extremely erratic and not like him at all. In the early 70's there were the "Paul McCartney is dead" rumou...
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Funny story: France's First Lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy To Tour With U2

France's First Lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy To Tour With U2

PARIS - Bono has just announced that the First Lady of France, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy has agreed to be their opening act on their upcoming Carribean Island tour. The tour which will cover 29 cities in 29 days is being billed as "The We're Not Afraid...
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Funny story: "U2 are very rich" claims an Irishman

"U2 are very rich" claims an Irishman

Today an Irishman has claimed that U2 are very rich, avoid paying taxes, and behave like superstars. It is believed that this is the same Irishman who previously claimed that the Pope was catholic, 2+2=4, and that bears really do prefer the woods.
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Justin Bieber and North Korean Leader On Same Fantasy Basketball Site

Pop star Justin Bieber and North Korean despot Kim Jong Un are both on the same fantasy basketball website, battling it out in cyberspace over the comic collection Kim says Justin ripped him off on.

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