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Kim Jong Un Executes Newborn Infant For Crying

PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA - North Korean leader Kim Jong Un executed a newborn infant for crying when the Supreme Leader visited a hospital, Un's Supreme Press Secretary, Yu Stin Ki Pu, this reporter has learned. At a press conference this morning, M...

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Men Arrested Of Abusing Cows Claim It Was By Moo-tual Consent

Funny story: Men Arrested Of Abusing Cows Claim It Was By Moo-tual Consent

Two men who have been arrested on suspicion of sexually abusing cows are claiming that the cows not only agreed to the abuse but encouraged it. One of the men is accused of trying to have sex with several of the animals while another man, filmed...

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My Senior Moments for W/E: 12th July 2012

Funny story: My Senior Moments for W/E: 12th July 2012

Monday 6th Aug * Up early, went to WC - found I'd left the flipping heater on all night again! Ah well, the utility company will be glad. * Did diaries for Spoof, and posted them. * Went over to ogle Margaret... she installs feelings in certain quarters that I should not be having at my age and health! * Went for a walk afterwards, got caught in the rain, the brolly blew inside out and is now...

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My Senior Moments: W/E: 5th August 2012

Funny story: My Senior Moments: W/E: 5th August 2012

Monday 30th July 2012 * Hurray... some sleep last night, great! * Remembered I'd forgot something for last Saturday's Senior Moments diary: When I went to catch the bus back from Bulwell, I again tried to use me bank card by mistake for me bus pass! Then, got seated, got the crossword book out and failed to find any answers... then the driver told us all that the bus would not start, and...

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My Senior Moments: W/E: 21st July 2012

Funny story: My Senior Moments: W/E: 21st July 2012

Monday 16th July 2012 * Knees and hands much easier this wet morning. Hernia bothersome, angina okay, so a good start. * Set off on walk into town to meet Brother-in-law Pete for bus trip to Mansfield. Remembering to call at GP surgery en-route to book me CHD appointment... I thought I saw one of the receptionists smile... but I'm not certain, possibly a mild hallucination? * Met Pete, who seem...

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A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Nine - Tesco 1962

Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Nine - Tesco 1962

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 104: 1962: A Day At Work At Tesco "With thanks to Skoob1999 who triggered my memory of this incident, when he was telling me of one of his own. Thank You Sir!" I was at the back door of Tesco on Granby Street (later to become Maid Marion Way...

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A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Eight - To the Chemists...

Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Eight - To the Chemists...

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947. He started life with nothing, and he still has most of it! Chapter 103: Fetching the Bi-Monthly medications Monday: Bi-monthly medications collection day Set out on the short ten minute walk to the pharmacists to fetch my bi-monthly medications p...

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A True Diary of Woe - Part 58 - Going to Work

Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part 58 - Going to Work

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 102: Going to work - 1960 I knew of the one-day bus-drivers strike, so set out really early to walk the 8 miles or so to Buwell. Being greeted as I opened the door by the snow and ice I did not expect. I went back in and adorned me well...

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A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Seven

Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Seven

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 100: The Shopping Expedition Wed 20th 2012 Up at 0500hrs - Carbolicalised (ablutions), and medicated, followed by the usual hunt for my glasses and hearing aids. Put the laptop on to find out what day it is. Attend to shopping list: Rememb...

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A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Five

Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Five

A diary of one man's (Using the term loosely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 98: After a great night out I was so proud when I was invited to a company 'do', and received my 'City & Guilds' in Fresh produce retailing certificate. Unfortunately it was on a Friday night, after I'd just done a 15 hour shift at work...

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A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Four

Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Four

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 97: The Missing £20 The second and last time I was assigned to a CIT shift (Cash In Transit), was when I was at a factory in Lenton, Nottingham. They had a large amount of money (£12k) they wanted collecting from a bank in Nottingham's city...

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Selected Political News for W/E 12th March 2012 - with comments

Funny story: Selected Political News for W/E 12th March 2012 - with comments

Monday 5th March 2012 Topic: Crime - Terrorism - Government Quango Give terror suspects More human rights - Says £53m Govt quango funded by You Source: The Sun More human rights for terrorists will be called for today by a quango which costs taxpayers £53million a year. The Equality and Human Rights Commission also wants softer treatment for prisoners, illegal immigrants and gypsy sites. It w...

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Nottingham News for W/E Sun 11th March 2012 - with comments

Funny story: Nottingham News for W/E Sun 11th March 2012 - with comments

Monday 5th March 2012 Topic: Crime - Shoplifters Victoria Centre: Police and security guards chase shoplifters Source: Observed by Author As I was hobbling though the bus station car park to Victoria centre, a herd of about five horrible Herbert's came running out of the centre doors, carrying what looked like dozens of pairs of jeans each, and ran down into the car park, where they got into a...

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My Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 11th March 2012

Funny story: My Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 11th March 2012

Monday 5th March 2012: * Noticed the £2.39 Asda wall clock had stopped, so after a half hour search I found and replaced the battery, but the black plastic thingamajig fell off. So, undaunted I searched the hovel and found a screwdriver the size that would fit and allow me to carefully change the clock to show the correct time. Now with me painful fingers and not too good eyesight, this took me a...

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A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-One - A Night to Remember

Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-One - A Night to Remember

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 94 - A Night to Remember The path from the guard base, to the undercover police car compound, and the awaiting swipe point, was no longer than perhaps 800 yards, there and back, at the most. It was dark as usual, 0215hrs, the broken up old fa...

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A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Two - The Easter Parade

Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Two - The Easter Parade

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 95 - The Nottingham 9th Company Boys Brigade Band's Easter Parade I had been invited to play the drums on the Nottingham 9th Company Boys Brigade Band's Easter Parade around the Meadows area of Nottingham, and really wanted to take part. Unf...

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A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty - The Team Building Weekend!

Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty - The Team Building Weekend!

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 93 - Off on the Company Team Building Weekend I was working at a factory in Kegworth, in the engineering stores at the time. We were getting ready to set off in the mini-buses for a relaxing ride out into the Derbyshire hills for a week-end o...

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My Senior Moments - W/E 4th March 2012

Funny story: My Senior Moments - W/E 4th March 2012

Sunday 26th February 2012 * Fell asleep, and woke up as I was falling out of the chair! How? - No idea, but the pan of soup got burnt while all this was going on. Monday 27th February 2012 * Tried again to get rid of the alarm I accidentally set on the DAB radio, and lost the one preset I had. * Searched in vain for my mobile phone, still looking. Tuesday 28th February 2012 * Found mob...

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