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Scottish council plant trees on football field!

Funny story: Scottish council plant trees on football field!

It seems that football (the round ball type for our US readers) in Scotland has become so boring local councils in the country have started turning football pitches into tree-growing areas! One council, Aberdeenshire, planted several trees on thei...

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Trees watch the Happening, and decide to "at least make allergy season sucky this year."

Funny story: Trees watch the Happening, and decide to "at least make allergy season sucky this year."

After watching the perennially criticized M. Knight Shayamalan film "The Happening" trees have been attempting to replicate the effects on humans from the movie, but thus far have only gotten some people to sneeze and cough a lot. Mountain cedar...

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St. Clair dog barks up wrong tree

Funny story: St. Clair dog barks up wrong tree

Toggles, a 4 year old German Shepherd, was found yesterday morning barking up the wrong tree. Mr. James Trifles of St. Clair, PA, expressed surprise and dismay all at the same time. "That damn dog. I don't know what I'm going to do with him. I lov...

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Tree Wonders If Anyone Heard It Fall

Middle Of Nowhere, Montana - Doug Fir, a 200-year-old coniferous evergreen, took a tumble last week while enjoying his afternoon of standing in the same spot he'd been in his whole life thus far and swaying in the breeze. "The wind all of a sudde...

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Local Man Cuts Down Tree On Old Lady Feeding Pigeons

Funny story: Local Man Cuts Down Tree On Old Lady Feeding Pigeons

Harold Gillis told everyone gathered around him that he was sorry that he had cut down the wrong tree and crushed the old lady and several pigeons she was feeding. "Look, it could happen to any of us. We think the tree is going to fall a certain w...

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Move Over Red Hat Society, Introducing "The Evergreen Gals"

Funny story: Move Over Red Hat Society, Introducing "The Evergreen Gals"

COOS BAY, OREGON - Peggy Johnson is only 43, but she is the head of one of the newest and fastest growing women's organizations in the U.S. since Sue Ellen Cooper started The Red Hat Society was started in 1998. Johnson's organization is called "The Evergreen Gals", in reference to evergreen trees that have leaves in all four seasons. "Members of 'The Evergreen Gals' are dedicated to being...

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A Treehouse: How To Make One

Funny story: A Treehouse: How To Make One

Ever thought you'd like to live the outdoor life? Ever wondered what it would be like to live under the stars? Ever considered building a treehouse? Good, I hoped you say that! I've never built one, or even been in one, but how hard could it be? The first thing, I imagine, that you need to build a treehouse, is a tree. Without one, the idea just won't work. I was going to say "the proj...

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Trafford council to sue trees

Funny story: Trafford council to sue trees

Trafford council, the place where Nazis go to retire, have issued a court summons to the trees in the borough for littering. "I woke up the other morning," said council leader, Joseph Gerbils, "and there was rubbish all over my nice clean streets.

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All of The White House Trees May Have To Be Burned To Get Rid of The Cicada Infestation

Funny story: All of The White House Trees May Have To Be Burned To Get Rid of The Cicada Infestation

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Vice-President Joe Biden has just made an announcement to the White House Press Corps. He said that he was told by the White House gardener that every single tree located on The White House grounds is infested with the pesky, no...

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Moustache die-back disease spreading through Britain

Funny story: Moustache die-back disease spreading through Britain

Moustaches suspected of being infected with the killer tash die-back fungus have been found in privately owned facial hair in many parts of Norfolk, Scotland and Wales. The potential that outbreaks of the fungus have been found in home-grown moust...

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79 Year Old Cat Lady Climbs Giant Oak and Refuses to Come Down

Funny story: 79 Year Old Cat Lady Climbs Giant Oak and Refuses to Come Down

A 79 year old grandmother, known locally as the Cat Lady because of her habit of taking in thousands of homeless cats over the years, has climbed a giant Oak tree in her front yard and has refused to come down. Neighbors say that Mrs. Gloria Fel...

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The Mystery of The Man-Eating Hedge Pt I

Funny story: The Mystery of The Man-Eating Hedge Pt I

The Conundrum Club, London, 1895 Colonel Gulper (CG): This Carpetbag Steak's damned chewy, what? Reverend Milke (RM): With respect, Colonel, that is a carpetbag you've got on your plate. CG: What? Of course it's a carpetbag, you fool. I just said it was a carpetbag, a deuced chewy one, or are you going deaf in your old age, Reverend, what? RM: No, Colonel, that is a bag, a carpet bag.

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Individual Replies to my Unsolicited Mail senders

Funny story: Individual Replies to my Unsolicited Mail senders

Individual Replies to my Unsolicited Mail received over the last 10 days: From Southern Electric/Nottingham City Council: Offering me the chance of, Cavity Wall insulation @ only £49 Reply: "Thank you kindly for the unsolicited offer. I already have cavity wall insulation. However, should anyone ask me about such a service, I will undoubtedly pass on your colourful leaflet. From Eddieble P...

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Drunken Moose Stuck in Apple Tree in Sweden, Entertains Crowds

Funny story: Drunken Moose Stuck in Apple Tree in Sweden, Entertains Crowds

It was the fermented apples that did it, the moose claimed, but some suspected that he had been sipping the bubbly for quite some time and was simply on a bender. Anyway, as he awaited rescue from the tree, the moose cheerfully entertained one a...

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Willow Sage Hart Begs Mom PINK for a Brother

Funny story: Willow Sage Hart Begs Mom PINK for a Brother

She's still a baby, but she already has her brother's name picked out: Pine Thyme Hart. "I don't," Willow Sage said, "expect to be the only one around with a name containing a tree, an herb, and a body part." She wants company, and she demands...

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Scientists develop bioplastic

Funny story: Scientists develop bioplastic

Scientists in Point Lees University, Keele, have developed a new plastic that is biodegradable, made from renewable sources and versatile. "This is the ultimate plastic," said Teresa Plant, lead materials science officer at Point Lees's chemistry...

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SAS will be in false trees at Royal Wedding.

Funny story: SAS will be in false trees at Royal Wedding.

Extra security precautions are to be taken by the SAS at Friday's royal wedding to protect the royal family and guests from terrorists. Eight twenty foot high artificial English maple trees are to be positioned around Westminster Abbey with up to...

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Dandelions are "A Bunch of Dicks" Say Trees

Funny story: Dandelions are "A Bunch of Dicks" Say Trees

A group of Dutch Elm trees are saying that they are breaking a decades-old silence to show the nation about the controversy surrounding dandelions. "For years we have been silent about this national tragedy. However, unlike my father, and my fathe...

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Breaking news…

Porn Lawyer Seeks to Expand Show-Biz Career

Fresh off countless CNN appearances, creepy porn lawyer Michael Avenatti has sued Marvel Comics, demanding to be taken on as their latest super-hero -- Rabid-Ranting-Rodent-Esquire-Dude.
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