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Funny story: New study reveals most petrol sold now in UK is 98% marmite

New study reveals most petrol sold now in UK is 98% marmite

Fuel experts revealed on Sunday night a shocking new report which stated that petrol stations across the country had been diluting the petrol they were selling with the food spread Marmite. An unknown source from an unnamed oil company defended...
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Funny story: Forrest for Ministry of Transport

Forrest for Ministry of Transport

The Ministry of Transport have been in touch with French authorities in order to obtain the release of Maths teacher and alleged child abductor, Jeremy Forrest. 'There's no one here who can do mathematics' explained Top civil servant Josiah Penpus...
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Funny story: Area man meets soulmate on subway, does nothing

Area man meets soulmate on subway, does nothing

CHICAGO, IL--Copy editor Preston Parks sat next to his soulmate Amy Gammel on a short subway ride Monday, but declined to strike up a conversation with the woman who is his absolute emotional, mental, and physical match. Although the two had appro...
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Funny story: Panic as bus arrives on time in Liverpool

Panic as bus arrives on time in Liverpool

At 10.20am British Transport Police responded to an incident on St. Mary's Road, Garsten, Liverpool, following a 999 call that a bus' timely arrival had compromised cherished national satisfaction with mediocrity. The current standard by which the bu...
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Funny story: High speed rail link 3 ready by 2075

High speed rail link 3 ready by 2075

The government has given the green light to the HS3 project that will see trains travelling from London to Dublin in under 30 minutes. The all new trains will be fitted with custom made nuclear reactors that will pump out nearly 2 million horse po...
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Funny story: Tories announce High Speed Ozzi-Tunnel

Tories announce High Speed Ozzi-Tunnel

Transport Minister Justine Greening, apparently encouraged by the public's apathy to her financial excesses of HS2, has announced her next project; the High-Speed Australia link, or 'Ozzi-Tunnel' as it is commonly known. This will cut journey times b...
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Funny story: High speed rail line only 30 years away

High speed rail line only 30 years away

The UK Government has today announced that a planned high speed train line between London and Birmingham will get the go ahead and will progress to the next stage in the planning process - the legal challenges. PM David Cameron said, "I can proudl...
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Funny story: UK government considering plan for trains capable of over 20mph

UK government considering plan for trains capable of over 20mph

Ministers are considering plans to build a "high speed" train link between London and Dorking. This would allow Dorking residents to travel to the nation's capital at the hitherto unheard of speed of 23mph. Trains on the line currently chug along at...
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Funny story: DC Subway Metro Riders Perturbed when Metro has a Perfect Operational Day

DC Subway Metro Riders Perturbed when Metro has a Perfect Operational Day

On a record setting day where the DC Metro Subway system ran just perfectly, thousands of DC Subway riders are in an uproar over its incredulously precise promptness and lack of any equipment malfunctions. On a December Sunday the subway actually ha...
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Funny story: Transport Minister attacks pedestrians

Transport Minister attacks pedestrians

Newly appointed Transport Minister, Justine Greening, has some radical new plans for Transport in the future. "It is unfair that certain sections of the community think it is acceptable to travel around this country for free, without insurance or...
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Funny story: Bangkok Taxi Driver Fed Up Of Moaning Passengers

Bangkok Taxi Driver Fed Up Of Moaning Passengers

For many years, Thailand's taxi drivers have been subject to extreme criticism over their perceived rudeness, lack of courtesy and general unprofessionalism. Until now, they had been keeping a gentlemanly silence, hoping the complaints would go away,...
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Funny story: Britain's Truck Drivers Bid for Fair Play

Britain's Truck Drivers Bid for Fair Play

Britain's many, many HGV drivers have today made a heartfelt appeal to the public to end the constant discrimination against their profession. "It's not on", said Steve Bloke, a member of pro-haulage organization, The Wagons Are The Solution, "peo...
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Funny story: London underground infested with donkeys

London underground infested with donkeys

A new report published today by Transport for London (TFL), the government body responsible for most aspects of the transport system in London, has warned of a sharp increase in the number of donkeys plaguing the underground rail network. The do...
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Funny story: Bullet Train through Kansas

Bullet Train through Kansas

Kansas Governor Moe Grain announced today the beginning of construction of a 350 mile per hour Bullet train that will run the breadth of Kansas from the state capitol in the east, Topeka, all the way to the Colorado border in the west. Citing a de...
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Funny story: Illegal immigrant families 'delight' at temporary extension of HGV working hours

Illegal immigrant families 'delight' at temporary extension of HGV working hours

A traveling family of illegal immigrants awaiting transportation from France to England on a heavy goods vehicle are said to be 'delighted' at the government's announcement that it has temporarily relaxed the legal restrictions on the length of time...
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Funny story: Snowbound Man Waits For Train

Snowbound Man Waits For Train

A remarkable tale of survival against all the odds has emerged, amidst the absolute chaos that the UK's transport network has descended into. A local man, Arthur Crapper, has been found sitting in the waiting room of the snowbound railway station,...
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Funny story: Word of the Day - Segue

Word of the Day - Segue

London - SEG -way: SAYG-way. Verb: To proceed without interruption; to make a smooth transition Example: I was having a pint at the 1802 over at Canary Wharf with my mate, Cliff, talking about the EU economy and Italy's plans to raise between 5.5 billion euros and 8 billion euros by selling debt maturing in 2012, 2017 and 2020 and the implication on the Italian automotive industry - imparticula...
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Funny story: Owner of Segway Dies Leaving Behind Mystery Vehicle Unrevealed!

Owner of Segway Dies Leaving Behind Mystery Vehicle Unrevealed!

The owner of the Segway company, James Heselden, has passed, apparently in an accident involving a yet to be named experimental vehicle, known only as X33. The body of James Heselden was pulled from a River in England on Sunday. A Segway-type veh...
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Obama to deploy 3,000 doctors to combat ISIL

The United States announced on Tuesday it will send 3,000 doctors to help combat the Islamic terrorist group, ISIL, as part of a ramped-up plan, including a major deployment in Syria.

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