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Transfer Speculation Part Three

More transfer news coming at you quicker than a speeding train as you lie on the tracks of life. After keeping our ears on the ground and risking getting trampled on Back and to the Left news have caught wind of five more transfer "done" deals. •...

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Arsenal to make sensational 50-million-pound bid for David Lucas

Funny story: Arsenal to make sensational 50-million-pound bid for David Lucas

Arsene Wenger is said to be keen to dip into his summer transfer war chest to bring experience to the goalkeeping department, after admitting in a recent press conference that his current 1st choice keeper is too inexperienced for the premier league.

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Transfer Window: Jimmy Greaves comes out of retirement

Funny story: Transfer Window: Jimmy Greaves comes out of retirement

78 year old former England, Milan, West Ham, Chelsea and Tottenham player has announced he is coming out of retirement. The east-ender, most famous for missing the 1966 world cup final, alcoholism problems and his tv programme with Ian St John, to...

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Man United target replacement for Wayne Rooney

Funny story: Man United target replacement for Wayne Rooney

Manchester United boss David Moyes is planning ahead to the next transfer window and has targeted a replacement for Wayne Rooney in the shape of David Mooney. Mooney plays for Leyton Orient, so far top of League One with five wins from five. Moone...

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Man United boss David Moyes searches worldwide for new players

Funny story: Man United boss David Moyes searches worldwide for new players

David Moyes completed his first transfer window as Manchester United boss with the signing of Everton midfielder Marouane Fellaini for £27.5 million on transfer deadline day. As expected of a club of their stature, United had been linked with play...

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Harry Redknapp rushed to hospital in transfer window 'slam shut' drama

Funny story: Harry Redknapp rushed to hospital in transfer window 'slam shut' drama

Former Premier League (i.e. important) manager Harry Redknapp was rushed to hospital last night in a transfer deadline day drama. As the trasnfer window 'slammed shut' Harry's car window slammed shut and almost beheaded him. Harry 'Crusty-face'...

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Delay to Gareth Bale Real Madrid transfer explained

Funny story: Delay to Gareth Bale Real Madrid transfer explained

With one day to go before the transfer window slammed shut, the longest running transfer speculation (since Ronaldo joined Real Madrid)has been completed. After the press conference, a source close to Gareth Bale revealed to Sly Sports why the transf...

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Transfer Window: Peter Odemwingie turned away from Real Madrid training ground

Funny story: Transfer Window: Peter Odemwingie turned away from Real Madrid training ground

For the second transfer deadline day in a row, West Bromwich Albion striker Peter Odemwingie was involved in a sensational rejection at the gates of a club he was desperate to sign for. Last January, with the transfer window clock ticking down, th...

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Real Madrid recoup transfer fee for Gareth Bale in one day

Funny story: Real Madrid recoup transfer fee for Gareth Bale in one day

Real Madrid has sensationally recouped all the £85million outlay on Welsh wonder Gareth Bale in less than 24 hours. The canny Galacticos have charged 85,000 fans 500 euros to witness the press conference at the Bernabeu welcoming Bale. Each fan wi...

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Arsene Wenger spotted with chequebook out

Funny story: Arsene Wenger spotted with chequebook out

The news that we've been waiting all summer for finally happened last night. Not the birth of Royal baby George, or Gareth Bale joining Madrid, but at 8.34pm in the 'Going Loco-local' supermarket on Holloway High St, under fire Arsenal manager Arsene...

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Transfer Window: Joey Barton move to Marseille breaks down

Funny story: Transfer Window: Joey Barton move to Marseille breaks down

Joey Barton broke down in tears today as details emerged that his on/off transfer to Marseille in France was OFF. A broken hearted Barton tweeted today "Been forced to go back training with the kids and fellow Taliban members at 2pm today..."...

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Wolverhampton man wins £22 million midweek football lottery!

Funny story: Wolverhampton man wins £22 million midweek football lottery!

A West Midlands man was ecstatic today after scooping £22 million on the midweek football lottery. Jezabel Moxey, Chief Executive of Wolverhampton Wanderers Football Club, pocketed the cash today after his numbers come up last night. Other mid...

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Transfer Window: Di Matteo sends Chelsea scouts to watch non-league striker

Funny story: Transfer Window: Di Matteo sends Chelsea scouts to watch non-league striker

Chelsea are among a host of clubs tracking non-league hot shot Ollie Palmer. Palmer, 20, who plays for Blue Square South strugglers Havant and Waterlooville, has been watched in his last two games by scouts for Roberto Di Matteo. Palmer said: "...

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Tevez: Roberto Mancini treated me like a dog

Funny story: Tevez: Roberto Mancini treated me like a dog

CARLOS TEVEZ has accused Roberto Mancini of treating him 'like a dog' and branded the Manchester City boss 'a liar'. The Argentine returns to City today after three months on strike. He blasted Mancini as he recalled the Champions League game v Ba...

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Transfer Window: Man City, PSG and Chelsea to bid for Anfield hero

Funny story: Transfer Window: Man City, PSG and Chelsea to bid for Anfield hero

Liverpool manager Kenny MacGlish today told reporters that the Anfield Cat was not for sale despite big bids from Manchester City, Paris Saint Germain and Chelsea. The cat made a cameo appearance at Anfield last night in the televised match betwe...

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Transfer Window: Knighthood moves back to Palace in last minute deal

Funny story: Transfer Window: Knighthood moves back to Palace in last minute deal

The knighthood of RBS 'banker' Sir Fred Bad-Karma has sensationally moved back to its former home of Buckingtooth Palace. The move came around after a public outcry, namely a Mr Deesgusted from Tunbridge Wells, and the knighthood revealed to it's...

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Transfer Window: Harry Redknapp determined to do a deal...

Funny story: Transfer Window: Harry Redknapp determined to do a deal...

Having been in court for the last week and a half, on charges of tax evasion, and now a league game on the actual day the transfer window closes, Harry Redknapp could have been excused if there was no coming or going at White Hart Lane today, but the...

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Transfer Deadline Day: Liverpool sign Celtic

In one of the more unexpected transfer deadline day deals Liverpool have signed the entire playing squad, coaching staff and fan base of top Scottish club Glasgow Celtic. Kenny Dalglish, Liverpool manager and also one of Celtic's most legendary pl...

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Breaking news…

Man Cures Cancer While Sitting In ER Waiting Room

After arriving at the hospital for a health complication a gentleman had to wait to be seen. 8 years later he's still there, but found the cure for cancer in the meantime. That was 6 years ago...
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