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Funny story:  Droylsden finally gets its tram

Droylsden finally gets its tram

After being in the planning stage for twenty years, the much vaunted Manchester tram system is to get it's first of several new extensions that will take the tram network into East Manchester. This week, the first part of this opens, with stops in Dr...
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Funny story:  Doctor looked at patient's flies on packed train

Doctor looked at patient's flies on packed train

A hospital doctor could lose her job after she stared at the partly-open flies of a male patient sitting opposite her on a packed train. Dr Ava Peek was disciplined after the patient, Ivor Beegun, complained to the Head of NHS Vigilance and Ancill...
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Funny story:  Trains could be given anti-flatulence re-design

Trains could be given anti-flatulence re-design

Train carriages could soon be built to give better passenger protection against those engaging in extreme flatulence, following a three-year study. Scientists have devised a set of key changes that could contain explosive blasts and reduce the amo...
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Funny story:  Boxing Day Rail Hunt announced for 2013 - Tally Ho!

Boxing Day Rail Hunt announced for 2013 - Tally Ho!

The Boxing Day Hunt will go ahead in 2013, after it has been revealed that a novel compromise has been reached by the Transport minister in discussions with ASLEF and the Heythrop Hunt. The train drivers union have sworn to uphold their unassailab...
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Funny story:  George Osbourne an example to Mitchell

George Osbourne an example to Mitchell

Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osbourne was caught traveling first class on a standard ticket. He politely asked the ticket inspector if he know who he was, and told the ticket inspector that as Chancellor it was him who would decide inspectors n...
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Funny story:  Shock as new operator for East Coast Mainline trains announced

Shock as new operator for East Coast Mainline trains announced

There was shock and horror on the faces of both the Sir Richard Branson/Stagecoach consortium and the First Group when it was decided by the government that they were now not awarding the east coast mainline rail franchise to either of them. It wa...
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Funny story:  Is Facebook's organ donation plan not quite all that it seems?

Is Facebook's organ donation plan not quite all that it seems?

Not content with slowly taking over your minds, Facebook will now allow you to register as a organ donor on the website. The move was greeted with applause (and some whooping and cheering) by the medical community. But a former Facebook employee info...
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Funny story:  Virgin Rail tickets valid on Virgin Galactic

Virgin Rail tickets valid on Virgin Galactic

A computer glitch on a train ticket booking website has seen thousands of rail travellers snap up space travel tickets at knockdown prices. Due to planned engineering work, most travellers had expected to spend Easter at a bus stop in Crewe or Ban...
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Funny story:  Train Chaos 'caused by too many layers'

Train Chaos 'caused by too many layers'

London- Emergency workers and National rail staff blame rail chaos on passenger's clothing. Staff battling to end the Monday morning rush-hour chaos that crippled London's Thameslink rail route have revealed the cause of the delays - a 'silly moo'...
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Funny story:  Dorking gets London High Speed Rail terminal

Dorking gets London High Speed Rail terminal

Dorking, just south of the Great British Capital that is London, encircled as it is by the chastity belt of the M25, has been announced as the southernmost end of the High Speed Rail link. "This is great news," said local resident, mobile hairdres...
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Funny story:  High speed rail line only 30 years away

High speed rail line only 30 years away

The UK Government has today announced that a planned high speed train line between London and Birmingham will get the go ahead and will progress to the next stage in the planning process - the legal challenges. PM David Cameron said, "I can proudl...
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Funny story:  UK government considering plan for trains capable of over 20mph

UK government considering plan for trains capable of over 20mph

Ministers are considering plans to build a "high speed" train link between London and Dorking. This would allow Dorking residents to travel to the nation's capital at the hitherto unheard of speed of 23mph. Trains on the line currently chug along at...
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Funny story:  If you treat us like sardines we'll act like them

If you treat us like sardines we'll act like them

Commuters who are fed up with overcrowded trains are trying to organise a protest by getting everyone to dress up as sardines! There fed up with standing up and having trains cancelled or late. "My train this week was on time for once but it didn'...
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Funny story:  Dutch trains get "pee bags" instead of tea bags!

Dutch trains get "pee bags" instead of tea bags!

The Dutch always at the forefront of innovation (especially if you enjoy a joint or two) are to introduce "pee bags" and discard tea bags on all of their train services during the winter period. The reason for this very innovative idea is that Dut...
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Funny story:  Why I did not become a Train Driver: By Gary Hoadley

Why I did not become a Train Driver: By Gary Hoadley

I began to steal from an early age. I was caught stealing sweets from a shop at age five. Not that I needed to. My parents were decent people and paid their debts on time and always settled the grocery bill at the end of the week. I could have anything I wanted from the shop all, I had to do was ask. Not me! If I could get it out the shop undiscovered, it was a victory. On this occasion I lost...
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Funny story:  Train Spotting makes it into the Psychologists Handbook

Train Spotting makes it into the Psychologists Handbook

The definitive guide to what is a mental illness and what is normal behaviour is due for release at the end of the month. Previous additions to the tome have been ADHD and body dismorphia. "Until it is in the book," said the Handbook's editor,...
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Funny story:  All Aboard!

All Aboard!

I got on board the AMTRAK train to New York at New Carrollton as I normally do. Walking down the aisle wheeling my carry-on luggage with one hand and holding my coffee and blueberry Danish in the other, I spotted my old friend Joe. Even though he was wearing Ray Ban sunglasses, there was no mistaking his big, broad smile. Joe and I had spent many hours together on AMTRAK - Joe going to Delaware...
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Funny story:  Public Transport Announcements Targetted By Minister

Public Transport Announcements Targetted By Minister

War has at last been declared on constant announcements on public transport. Transport minister Norman Baker intends to have a word with transport providers to bring an end to what he dismissed as "confetti commentary." "Do we really need to be...
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Breaking News...

Sherlock Actor Investigates Cast

Benedict Cumberbatch drilled the Star Trek cast and successfully deduced that his stolen peanut butter and jelly sandwich was taken by Zachary Quinto.

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