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Funny story: Andre Villas-Boas not paranoid

Andre Villas-Boas not paranoid

Tottenham Hotspurs manager Andre Villas-Boas yesterday announced that he was not paranoid. "After all, paranoia doesn't mean the whole world really isn't out to get you", he said. There is a sinister agenda to undermine me. Anyway where is this P...
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Funny story: Linesman hit by flare at Villa Park

Linesman hit by flare at Villa Park

Football took a turn back into the 1970s today when a pair of flared trousers were thrown at assistant referee David Bryan. West Midlands Police have arrested two men aged 25 and 47 over the incident. They were released on bail, and are expected t...
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Funny story: Andros Townsend is the new Gareth Bale (says Daniel Levy)

Andros Townsend is the new Gareth Bale (says Daniel Levy)

Tottenham Hotspur today announced that England hero Andros Townsend has signed a new four year contract, trebling his wages from the minimum wage of £7.50 per hour. Manager Andre Villas-Boas and chairman Daniel Levy announced the deal today as th...
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Funny story: Spurs Andros Townsend to go out on loan again before World Cup Finals

Spurs Andros Townsend to go out on loan again before World Cup Finals

Andros Townsend has told Tottenham Hotspur boss Andre Villas-Boas he would like to go out on loan again before the World Cup Finals in Brazil next summer. Townsend followed his goal scoring debut against Montengro with another solid performance v...
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Funny story: Delay to Gareth Bale Real Madrid transfer explained

Delay to Gareth Bale Real Madrid transfer explained

With one day to go before the transfer window slammed shut, the longest running transfer speculation (since Ronaldo joined Real Madrid)has been completed. After the press conference, a source close to Gareth Bale revealed to Sly Sports why the transf...
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Funny story: Real Madrid recoup transfer fee for Gareth Bale in one day

Real Madrid recoup transfer fee for Gareth Bale in one day

Real Madrid has sensationally recouped all the £85million outlay on Welsh wonder Gareth Bale in less than 24 hours. The canny Galacticos have charged 85,000 fans 500 euros to witness the press conference at the Bernabeu welcoming Bale. Each fan wi...
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Funny story: Tottenham to invest £85 million in cloning Gareth Bale and other footballers

Tottenham to invest £85 million in cloning Gareth Bale and other footballers

English Premier League (EPL) side Totting-ham Hot-sports have pleaded with La Liga giants Real Madrid to pay cash up front for Gareth Bale, the hottest footballer ever to leave Wales, (a tiny island the size of Wales on the side of England) North...
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Funny story: UEFA to order investigation into one man team

UEFA to order investigation into one man team

UEFA head honcho Michelle Platypus, the Frenchman with the woman's name, has demanded an immediate investigation into Tottenham Horsespurs 3-0 win over Inter Milan in the Thursday night Eur-trypa League. Only one of the three goals came from Spur...
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Funny story: Gareth Bale to be fitted with stabilisers to stop him falling over

Gareth Bale to be fitted with stabilisers to stop him falling over

Tottenham Hotspur boss Andre Villain-Boas (AVB) has given Gareth Bale a belated Christmas present in the form of a pair of stabilisers that will stop him falling over in crucial Premier League soccer matches. Welsh wizard bale was booked in the 2-...
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Funny story: AVB is CBC (Completely Batshit Crazy)

AVB is CBC (Completely Batshit Crazy)

"Can we play you every week" was the chant that echoed around the Emirates stadium at 5pm on Saturday. Unfortunately for Arsenal, but fortunately for Gareth Bale, no Arsenal can't play Tottenham every week. A majestic Arsenal performance was capped o...
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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 10th September 2012

Football Gossip & comments 10th September 2012

England and Manchester City midfielder James Milner, 26, says his Yorkshire grit fuels his determination to succeed. (Daily Mail) Yorkshire grit, tea-bags and yorkshire puddings. Ukraine coach Oleg Blokhin has banned his players from watching videos of World Cup qualifier opponents England's 5-0 win over Moldova - in case they are intimidated. (Daily Mirror) If they go on the pitch thinking...
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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 3rd September 2012

Football Gossip & comments 3rd September 2012

Fulham may have sold Mousa Dembele to Tottenham during the transfer window, but Cottagers fans could soon be singing the player's name again, after one of their academy players - also named Mousa Dembele - scored a hat-trick for the club's U18s against Crystal Palace. (Fulham FC.com) Two Mousa Dembele's, theirs only two Mousa Dembele's, two Mousa Dembele's... Arsenal have not won a trophy fo...
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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 23rd August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 23rd August 2012

Players who have quit Arsenal over the last seven years have amassed 44 winners' medals between them at 11 different clubs, while those who stayed at the Emirates have empty trophy cabinets. (The Sun) But hey, whose counting? And think of the money they've saved on polish. And new trophy cabinets. Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers denies he is taking the Reds' Europa League qualifying match a...
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Funny story: Football clubs to offer degree courses

Football clubs to offer degree courses

It was announced this morning that London football club Tottenham Hotspur is to offer degree courses, the first time a sporting club has entered the foray into third level education. Famous not only for it's iconic stadium at White Hart Lane, it i...
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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 4th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 4th August 2012

New Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers says Luis Suarez must forget the racism controversy of last season. (BBC Sport) Rodgers was spotted leaving HMV earlier with the DVD 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' plus a book called 'Dummies Guide to Hypnotising Stupid Footballers' Celtic begin their defence of the Scottish Premier League with a narrow 1-0 win over Aberdeen at Celtic Park on the fi...
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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 22nd July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 22nd July 2012

Olympic Warm Up Match - Team GB 0 Brazil 2 Team GB were outclassed by Brazil at The Riverside with first half goals from Sandro and Neymar. Just as well we didn't play them on the beach. Is it too late to instate David Beckham in the squad? Glad All Over Crystal Palace have announced the appointment of comedian and life long fan Eddie Izzard as Director. Their fans could do with a laugh.
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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 20th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 20th July 2012

Ledley King has announced his retirement from the top flight game after injuries stopped him from training between games. He will continue to turn out for Tottenham Hotspur. Stuart Pearce done a u-turn on a previous statement he made, saying he wanted the Players aged 23 and under in the Euro 2012 squad available for Team GB Olympic Football squad. Well at least someone wants Andy Carroll...
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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 16th July 2012

Football Gossip & comments 16th July 2012

Liverpool have turned down an approach from Newcastle to get Andy Carroll on a season long loan. They refused the deal after Chelsea turned down an approach from Liverpool to take Fernando Torres on a season long loan. Chelsea turned down the offer after Shanghai Shenhua turned down an approach from Chelsea to take Didier Drogba on a season long loan. Shanghai Shenhua turned down the app...
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Breaking News...

Fire Brigade Called To Shopping Mall Bathroom As Hand Drier Pins Woman To Ceiling

A new generation of super-powerful hand driers were criticised yesterday after a woman was blown to the ceiling while drying her face. The Dison Mk.2 Tornado driers were being recalled yesterday.
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