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Open Mouthed Banter

After the greatest team in the world was denied a definite FA cup final win by Manchester United people have been up in arms about a “tweet” sent from the official FA account about Harry Kane. Normally Harry is only up in arms about the sun setting a...

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Spurs' Harry Kane In Hot Water With Girlfriend

Funny story: Spurs' Harry Kane In Hot Water With Girlfriend

Harry Kane, the Tottenham and England footballer, was in hot water with his girlfriend after he swore on his daughter's life that he scored his side's second goal during their 2-1 victory over Stoke City on Saturday. The Premier League goals accre...

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Saudi Cash Injection

According to a think tank of "investment consultants" (read: probable wankers) a large group of Saudi Arabian investors are looking to invest in a number of "top London" football clubs. A statement which immediately ruled Tottenham Hotspur out of the...

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Transfer Speculation Part Two

Here at Back and to the Left news we have our fingers on the pulse of the transfer market and let us tell you it's not a cadaver. Many other news outlets will scream about "hot tips" and "near certainties" when in reality they overheard a bloke on th...

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Hammers Fan Off the Danger List

Funny story: Hammers Fan Off the Danger List

West Ham's greatest fan Johnnie Wubble is officially off the danger list. He was in hospital with a chronic heart attack after the Hammers beat Manchester City earlier in the season and were fourth in the Premier League for thirty minutes. A ho...

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Spurs Sack Pochettino

Funny story: Spurs Sack Pochettino

Mauricio Pochettino has been fired from his role as manager of Tottenham Hotspur after 1440 minutes in charge. According to sources at Spurs, the board and the Chairman at the club had grown tired of Pochettino's inability to sign world class play...

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Andre Villas-Boas not paranoid

Funny story: Andre Villas-Boas not paranoid

Tottenham Hotspurs manager Andre Villas-Boas yesterday announced that he was not paranoid. "After all, paranoia doesn't mean the whole world really isn't out to get you", he said. There is a sinister agenda to undermine me. Anyway where is this P...

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Linesman hit by flare at Villa Park

Funny story: Linesman hit by flare at Villa Park

Football took a turn back into the 1970s today when a pair of flared trousers were thrown at assistant referee David Bryan. West Midlands Police have arrested two men aged 25 and 47 over the incident. They were released on bail, and are expected t...

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Andros Townsend is the new Gareth Bale (says Daniel Levy)

Funny story: Andros Townsend is the new Gareth Bale (says Daniel Levy)

Tottenham Hotspur today announced that England hero Andros Townsend has signed a new four year contract, trebling his wages from the minimum wage of £7.50 per hour. Manager Andre Villas-Boas and chairman Daniel Levy announced the deal today as th...

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Spurs Andros Townsend to go out on loan again before World Cup Finals

Funny story: Spurs Andros Townsend to go out on loan again before World Cup Finals

Andros Townsend has told Tottenham Hotspur boss Andre Villas-Boas he would like to go out on loan again before the World Cup Finals in Brazil next summer. Townsend followed his goal scoring debut against Montengro with another solid performance v...

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Delay to Gareth Bale Real Madrid transfer explained

Funny story: Delay to Gareth Bale Real Madrid transfer explained

With one day to go before the transfer window slammed shut, the longest running transfer speculation (since Ronaldo joined Real Madrid)has been completed. After the press conference, a source close to Gareth Bale revealed to Sly Sports why the transf...

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Real Madrid recoup transfer fee for Gareth Bale in one day

Funny story: Real Madrid recoup transfer fee for Gareth Bale in one day

Real Madrid has sensationally recouped all the £85million outlay on Welsh wonder Gareth Bale in less than 24 hours. The canny Galacticos have charged 85,000 fans 500 euros to witness the press conference at the Bernabeu welcoming Bale. Each fan wi...

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Tottenham to invest £85 million in cloning Gareth Bale and other footballers

Funny story: Tottenham to invest £85 million in cloning Gareth Bale and other footballers

English Premier League (EPL) side Totting-ham Hot-sports have pleaded with La Liga giants Real Madrid to pay cash up front for Gareth Bale, the hottest footballer ever to leave Wales, (a tiny island the size of Wales on the side of England) North...

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UEFA to order investigation into one man team

Funny story: UEFA to order investigation into one man team

UEFA head honcho Michelle Platypus, the Frenchman with the woman's name, has demanded an immediate investigation into Tottenham Horsespurs 3-0 win over Inter Milan in the Thursday night Eur-trypa League. Only one of the three goals came from Spur...

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Gareth Bale to be fitted with stabilisers to stop him falling over

Funny story: Gareth Bale to be fitted with stabilisers to stop him falling over

Tottenham Hotspur boss Andre Villain-Boas (AVB) has given Gareth Bale a belated Christmas present in the form of a pair of stabilisers that will stop him falling over in crucial Premier League soccer matches. Welsh wizard bale was booked in the 2-...

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AVB is CBC (Completely Batshit Crazy)

Funny story: AVB is CBC (Completely Batshit Crazy)

"Can we play you every week" was the chant that echoed around the Emirates stadium at 5pm on Saturday. Unfortunately for Arsenal, but fortunately for Gareth Bale, no Arsenal can't play Tottenham every week. A majestic Arsenal performance was capped o...

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Football Gossip & comments 10th September 2012

Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 10th September 2012

England and Manchester City midfielder James Milner, 26, says his Yorkshire grit fuels his determination to succeed. (Daily Mail) Yorkshire grit, tea-bags and yorkshire puddings. Ukraine coach Oleg Blokhin has banned his players from watching videos of World Cup qualifier opponents England's 5-0 win over Moldova - in case they are intimidated. (Daily Mirror) If they go on the pitch thinking...

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Football Gossip & comments 3rd September 2012

Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 3rd September 2012

Fulham may have sold Mousa Dembele to Tottenham during the transfer window, but Cottagers fans could soon be singing the player's name again, after one of their academy players - also named Mousa Dembele - scored a hat-trick for the club's U18s against Crystal Palace. (Fulham FC.com) Two Mousa Dembele's, theirs only two Mousa Dembele's, two Mousa Dembele's... Arsenal have not won a trophy fo...

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