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Funny satire stories about Tortoise

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Kent Private Detective On The Trail Of Tortoise Thief!

Funny story: Kent Private Detective On The Trail Of Tortoise Thief!

Curtis Johnny Ottoman, or Otto. as he is known by his friends, is on the trail of a serial Tortoise Thief in Kent, Twelveoaks. Being one of the few reptilian detectives in the western hemisphere, Otto is world famous for his sleuthing. "Tortoises...

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TSA falsely accuses man of transporting snake and tortoises, finds instead man's huge genitals

Funny story: TSA falsely accuses man of transporting snake and tortoises, finds instead man's huge genitals

MIAMI, Florida--TSA screeners at Miami International Airport ordered that a man be held for transporting an exotic snake and two tortoises. A strip search revealed that the man instead sported an extremely long penis and large scrotum. Billy Sande...

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Carnivorous Tortoise Mauls Family Pet In Hamble Le Rice Horror Shocker

Funny story: Carnivorous Tortoise Mauls Family Pet In Hamble Le Rice Horror Shocker

Following an exhaustive investigation by researchers from Titchfield University, it can be revealed that the culprit behind the savage mauling of a family's pet dachshund, Wayne, in a Hampshire back garden, has been exposed as the family's pet tortoi...

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Tortoises Die On Their Backs

Funny story: Tortoises Die On Their Backs

Oxford, UK: Have you ever wondered what would happen if a tortoise was stuck on its back? The results of a new study led by Prof. Colin Killmore, Professor of Pseudoscience at Oxford University, show conclusively that the tortoise would eventually d...

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Giant tortoise "shell shocked" to be on trial

Funny story: Giant tortoise "shell shocked" to be on trial

A giant tortoise named Gladys has appeared on trial in the Hague for war crimes. The tortoise, now aged 225 years old and restricted to a wheelchair, could not speak to record her name. It is thought she might only live a few more decades and may not...

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Fashion Icon Arrested in Tortoise Incident

Funny story: Fashion Icon Arrested in Tortoise Incident

Alex McKing the renowned fashion designer is now facing animal cruelty charges. He was arrested today at his fashion show by Police accompanied by animal rights representatives. He apparently arrived at work wearing a tortoise shell as a hat. An...

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Dr Dolittle talks to Tommy Tortoise

Funny story: Dr Dolittle talks to Tommy Tortoise

Dr Dolittle eventually met Tommy Tortoise after a three month wait because it took Tommy so long to get to their meeting place in London. When Tommy arrived he said "I am sorry I am late for a very important date but we tortoise's are very slow the last thing I did was post a letter and it took me two weeks to get to the post box and back home.Can you imagine if you humans had to put up with t...

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Disabled Tortoise Saved from Rubbish Tip

Funny story: Disabled Tortoise Saved from Rubbish Tip

A 30-year-old disabled tortoise (ingrown toenails and harelip) unwittingly sent to a landfill site with its owner's rubbish, has been found alive. Sheldrake, a greater-crested Galapagos tortoise, owned by Gladys Hawksbill of Margate in Kent, clim...

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United States Stupidity Quotient

The S. Q. increased 16% in the first year of Trump's term of office. It now stands at 69%.
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