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Funny story: Liverpool Owners To Halve John Arne Riise's Wages Due To His One-Footedness

Liverpool Owners To Halve John Arne Riise's Wages Due To His One-Footedness

Liverpool have announced that they have made a huge salary cut from the wages of John Arne Riise, on the basis that the scary-looking, blond Norwegian is only able to kick with his left foot.
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Funny story: Manchester United Owner To Make Bid For Liverpool

Manchester United Owner To Make Bid For Liverpool

Malcolm Glazer, the billionaire owner of Manchester United, has indicated that he is ready to make a surprise bid for Premiership also-rans Liverpool, and expects to do so by next Tuesday.
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Breaking News...

Barack I Now Wants to Be Addressed With a New Moniker

WashDC: Emperor Barack I has issued an imperial order that all courtiers and palace plebs shall now address him as: His Excellent Cubaness "Che-Fidelio". The Secret Service scrambled to update codes.
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