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Conservative Science

We expect science to build upon the past. Aristotle to Watson and Crick. Archimedes through Newton to Einstein, and beyond. Some vestigial artifacts seem to slip through time. A woman of my acquaintance, with a master's degree in education, refused to hang washing on her clothesline during pregnancy. She believed there was a danger of the umbilical cord wrapping around the neck of the fetus...

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The most horrible sound in the world.

Funny story: The most horrible sound in the world.

British scientists have spent three years determining the most horrible sound in the world. The surprising result is that it is a sound which is heard more and more over recent years. The sound of politicians voices. "It was a surprising result.

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Todd Akin To Build "Berghof West" in Missouri: Adolph Hitler's Residence Serves as Model

Funny story: Todd Akin To Build "Berghof West" in Missouri: Adolph Hitler's Residence Serves as Model

Special to TPN - Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) is building a new summer home atop Taum Sauk Mountain, the highest point in Missouri. Rep. Akin is known famously as the one who clarified the difference between "rape" and "legitimate rape." To his credit, he a...

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Dante's Circles of Hell to Be Augmented - Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) develops initiative for Republican Party platform

Funny story: Dante's Circles of Hell to Be Augmented - Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) develops initiative for Republican Party platform

Special to TNP - At his daily news conference, Reince Priebus, chairman of the Republican National Committee (RNC), claimed that "a new version of Dante's Inferno is necessary to ensure the long-term health of the country. In fact, I anticipate that...

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Missouri's Akin: 'My opponent is not a legitimate lady!'

Funny story: Missouri's Akin: 'My opponent is not a legitimate lady!'

KANSAS CITY, MO (ABSNN) - In a Kansas City news conference today, Republican challenger Todd Akin, of "Legitimate Rape" fame accused incumbent US Senator Claire McCaskill of acting "unladylike," during Wednesday's TV and radio debate. "It beg...

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Akin Truthtelling Mistake Exposes Risk of Actually Learning What Republican Party Stands For

Funny story: Akin Truthtelling Mistake Exposes Risk of Actually Learning What Republican Party Stands For

U.S. Representative, Todd Akin (R-MO) remained under attack today from his Republican colleagues and Party officials for daring to say out loud what they all think. Earlier this week Akin was explaining to an interviewer why there should be no rape e...

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Akin's rape delusions expose a 'Congress of Crazies'

Funny story: Akin's rape delusions expose a 'Congress of Crazies'

Washington DC - Rep. Todd Akin's recent comments about rape and abortion indicate that he is better suited for long-term stay in a psychiatric ward than he is for a Senate seat. Specifically, he told a television interviewer that in cases of "legi...

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GOP Expertise On The How-Dumb-Can-We-Be-And-Get-Away-With-It Index

Funny story: GOP Expertise On The How-Dumb-Can-We-Be-And-Get-Away-With-It Index

Alarmed due to developments with Congressman Akin's recent comments on a woman's biological response to "legitimate" rape, GOP representatives are distancing themselves from Akin and suggesting he retire from politics. Stepping into the controversy w...

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Akin: Woman's Body Armor Thwarts Rape Pregnancy with Tricks -- Sperm "Won't Ask for Help or Directions"

Funny story: Akin: Woman's Body Armor Thwarts Rape Pregnancy with Tricks -- Sperm "Won't Ask for Help or Directions"

On the heels of his comment that "legitimate" rape is "really rare" and that "the woman's body has ways to shut that whole thing down," U.S. House Science Committee member Representative Todd Akin(R-MO)schooled newsmen today using the same sex educat...

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Pundits: Well, in a legitimate democracy, Todd Akin would never be elected

WASHINGTON, D.C.--Missouri Congressman and Senate candidate Todd Akin's comment that pregnancy would not occur in a "legitimate rape" has been met with widespread condemnation from Democrats and Republicans, prompting speculation Akin's Senate run is...

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