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Record rates of suicide attempts as Manchester United announce van Gaal is to stay!

Funny story: Record rates of suicide attempts as Manchester United announce van Gaal is to stay!

To quash all rumours, tabloid garbage, and ex- United players blowing their trumpets about Louis van Gaal, probably the most hated United manager since Dave Sexton, United's board have announced their support for the rather unstable Dutch sergeant ma...

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"Titanic" composer dies when house comes loose and hits iceberg

Today's highlights from the funeral log, is James Horner in the number one position. For many of you, his passing will evoke memories of his wonderful music for "Titanic" for which he received an Oscar. Horner lived on the ocean front by a tiny...

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Oceanic Scientists Report That Someone Has Stolen One Of The Titanic's Smokestacks

Funny story: Oceanic Scientists Report That Someone Has Stolen One Of The Titanic's Smokestacks

NEW YORK CITY - A team of five American oceanic scientists have just reported that one of the four Titanic smokestacks is missing. The ship, which hit an iceberg and sank on April 14, 1912, is resting at a depth of 12,600 feet on the Atlantic Ocea...

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Floppy disk found in a chest on board the Titanic

Funny story: Floppy disk found in a chest on board the Titanic

Salvage hunters have made a controversial and contentious discovery of what appears to be a floppy disk, or 'diskette' inside a chest recovered from the Titanic wreck. "This is going to either overturn decades of technological history," said salva...

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Obama administration compared to Titanic

WHITEWASHington, DC - Under the Obama administration, the ship of state has been likened to the Titanic, and, critics contend, the scandals that have rocked the ship are "just the tip of the iceberg." "If I didn't know better," a bemused Geor...

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The Longest Night (Skoobs writing comp)

Funny story: The Longest Night (Skoobs writing comp)

On the 11th of November, 1911, a passenger ship, the S.S. Titnatic set sail for the Isle of Wight. It would not reach its destination. This is the story of that night. 16:00HRS: Petty officer Spike Huff shouted orders for the Stevedores to undo the hawsers and let go. The lead Stevedore did let go, choking his workmates and making them retch with the pungent smell. Tugs rallied alongside...

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Dancing With The Stars: Kelly Monaco and Val Chmerkovskiy Deny The Baby Bump Rumors

Funny story: Dancing With The Stars: Kelly Monaco and Val Chmerkovskiy Deny The Baby Bump Rumors

HOLLYWOOD - During the 14 seasons that Dancing With The Stars has been on the air there has never been a dance couple who have become closer than Val Chmerkovskiy and Kelly Monaco. The very petite Kelly, who was named after the color; Kelly Green,...

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Titanic II Sails for New York

Funny story: Titanic II Sails for New York

Southampton UK: RMS Titanic II sailed for New York City (NYC) today on her maiden voyage following the same course her namesake traversed 104 years ago. The passenger list consisted of international politicians, potentates, Hollywood stars, TV person...

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UNESCO Protection of Film Heritage?

Funny story: UNESCO Protection of Film Heritage?

A few days ago I came across the following news headline. "Titanic wreckage to become Unesco heritage" Do my eyes deceive me or has the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organisation entered the world of film criticism. I know Titanic was never popular with the critics, but 'wreckage' is a bit harsh. But to give it UNESCO protection is a ground breaking move. This is no do...

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Titanic memorial journey delayed by a "Flock of seagulls!"

Funny story: Titanic memorial journey delayed by a "Flock of seagulls!"

Passengers on board the MS Balmoral, that was travelling on the same route as the tragic Titanic did in 1912, got the shock of their lives as the captain told all passengers to don their life-jackets and head for the life-boats. "Could it be a rep...

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Titanic-shaped birthmark appears on Queen's arse

Funny story: Titanic-shaped birthmark appears on Queen's arse

Windsor - A silhouette of the tragic liner has suddenly appeared crop circle-like on HM's posterior ahead of tomorrow's RIP centenary. Royal apothecaries studying the mole said it bears an uncanny resemblance to MS Balmoral, a 5,186 metric ton dea...

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Titanic Memorial Cruise Hits Iceberg

It was meant to commemorate the voyage of the famous ship that went down in the North Atlantic one hundred years ago. It did, and in doing so, it met the same fate. Every detail was recreated exactly, from the route taken, to the numbers of pas...

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James Cameron Insensitive to Titanic 'Victims'

Funny story: James Cameron Insensitive to Titanic 'Victims'

Victims who in 1997 had been subjected to James Cameron's Titanic, and many others who had subsequently been affected by watching his film, are protesting at the film being raised from the depths of bad 90s film hell in a new 3D format. 'It's dis...

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All Our Yesterdays - Blazing Row In Wheelhouse Of RMS Titanic As It Almost Hits Iceberg

11:33pm - 14th April 1912 - RMS Titanic... Latest News off the wires is that a furious row has just taken place in the wheelhouse of the White Star Line's RMS Titanic, currently approaching New York City from the north east, on her maiden voyage and possible blue ribbon winning trip, somewhere off Newfoundland. Skoob News's man on the scene, Gilbert Shuttlecock reported that a warning had be...

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January 4th 1912 'Fool' Moon blamed for Titanic sinking

Funny story: January 4th 1912 'Fool' Moon blamed for Titanic sinking

North Atlantic - In an early example of global warming conspiracy theorists today blamed the January 1912 Cancer Fool Moon for the Titanic's maiden voyage tragedy. The lunation sucked up a massive swell of tidal plankton and spawning lobster that...

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The Titanic Would Never Have Hit That Iceberg Had Mark Wahlberg Been Aboard, According To Mark Wahlberg

Funny story: The Titanic Would Never Have Hit That Iceberg Had Mark Wahlberg Been Aboard, According To Mark Wahlberg

BOSTON--A-list action star and D-list daydreamer Mark Wahlberg, is once again a total badass and hero of the world, in his mind. In an interview with Men's Journal, Mr. Wahlberg claims that if he had been on board the ill-fated Titanic, he would have...

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Titanic inquest: Captain Basil Fawlty says he tripped into lifeboat

Funny story: Titanic inquest: Captain Basil Fawlty says he tripped into lifeboat

The cruise-liner captain accused of abandoning ship after it struck rocks off the Tuscan coast last Friday has reportedly claimed he could not lead the evacuation because he slipped and fell into a lifeboat while helping passengers leave the stricken...

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Titanic latest: Reggie Perrin 'missing at sea'

Funny story: Titanic latest: Reggie Perrin 'missing at sea'

Fears were growing last night as the whereabout of businessman Reggie Perrin, last seen boarding the doomed Titanic ship for a short break after a stressful time at his job with Sunshines Desserts. Family and friends of Reggie Perrin gathered last...

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