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The Potter Bank Opens in London

Funny story: The Potter Bank Opens in London

LONDON UK: A new bank has just opened in London. Who owns the bank and who runs it is still a guarded secret. But it is a bank like no other. It has its own pub, massage parlour and meditation room. And boasts a disturbing mural in the foyer depictin...

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The Denver International Airport Baggage Thief Is Being Sent Down To Juarez, Mexico

Funny story: The Denver International Airport Baggage Thief Is Being Sent Down To Juarez, Mexico

DENVER - The officials at Denver International Airport are still very upset at John "Johnny" Papelbon, 52, who was caught stealing passenger's luggage from the airport baggage carousels. Two of the bags that Papelbon stole belonged to musician Pet...

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Kristen Stewart In Trouble With L.A. Police Department

Funny story: Kristen Stewart In Trouble With L.A. Police Department

During the past several months Thieves have been robbing Kristen Stewart blind while she has been on the road and doing a lot of filming. She had placed call after call to the L. A. Police and no one was ever caught. In fact, she told a reporter t...

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New York Car Thief Taught A Lesson

Funny story: New York Car Thief Taught A Lesson

NYC Police told the press this morning that they had arrested one Howard Applegate for car theft after they got him out of the trunk while screaming to anyone he heard on the street to call 911. Applegate confessed that he was the person stripping...

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NASA Wants The Stolen Neil Armstrong Moon Suit Returned

Funny story: NASA Wants The Stolen Neil Armstrong Moon Suit Returned

HOUSTON - NASA spokeswoman Venus Misty Cuddlefuddle, 51, has said that NASA is very upset that someone was so brazen as to steal the moon space suit that Neil Armstrong wore when he became the first person to set foot on the moon. Mrs. Cuddlefuddl...

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Cups and Rubbers - Lytham Pen Thief strikes again

Funny story: Cups and Rubbers - Lytham Pen Thief strikes again

Police had hoped that the Pen Thief of Lytham St Annes had gone quiet, with no activity on the pen front in several years; however, it now looks like he has started again, this time on memorial mugs and erasers. "Several years ago," said Jenn Darm...

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New government inquiry board to inquire about inquiries

Funny story: New government inquiry board to inquire about inquiries

In a bold move announced today, the Government is setting up a board of inquiry to look into the boards of inquiry that they have already set up. Headed by a group of very important people, some of whom have beards and wear suits, the Inquiry Inqu...

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Chancellor writes to Bob Diamond of Barclays to apologise for £290million fine

Funny story: Chancellor writes to Bob Diamond of Barclays to apologise for £290million fine

Thanks to our contacts at the new News International business "Phonetaps'R'Us", located round the back of Fairfax Bus Station, I was exclusively sent a copy of a letter, which my gum-rubbing informant claims was sent to the Chief Executive of Barclays Bank, Bob Diamond, from the Chancellor yesterday. Dear Bob Trusting you and yours are well. Listen mate. Sorry the Financially Stupid Asse...

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White phones are like a shark lure, according to new research

Funny story: White phones are like a shark lure, according to new research

Mobile phones used to come in black. Then a few daring companies produced ruby red, navy blue and British Racing green phones. These phones will still dark. Then came the iPhone, and it dared to be different. It was available in WHITE. Not just...

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Life Insurance Scam Uncovered

Funny story: Life Insurance Scam Uncovered

In a shock discovery made by an undercover reporter from the 'Daily Muckspreader', it has been revealed that one of the UK's leading life insurance providers have been fleecing their customers. The Athieva Life Insurance company stands accused of...

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Isle Of Wight's Most Wanted Evades Capture Once Again

Funny story: Isle Of Wight's Most Wanted Evades Capture Once Again

Master criminal and Isle of Wight's most wanted man, Curly O'Halloran evaded police yet again, after a four hour siege in a barn on the outskirts of Shanklin. The wily thief had recently robbed a bakery van and fled to the secluded barn, with the...

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Financial cuts to police service puts game birds at risk

Funny story: Financial cuts to police service puts game birds at risk

Planned cuts in the police department may not be popular with many, but one section of society who are elated with the news are thieves. LancsNews's talented and outrageous reporter Taribo West tracked a robber and found him in his secret cave. Th...

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Rap Artist Sued by J.K. Rowling

Funny story: Rap Artist Sued by J.K. Rowling

Justin Thyme, founder and lead singer of the rap band "Beetroot To Me" is in deep water with J.K.Rowling after the release of his latest song "Rake N' Vac" from his album "Plagiarhythm". Rowling's followers of course do not believe in plagiarism but...

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Is That Chocolate On Your Back - Or Are You About To Be Robbed?

Funny story: Is That Chocolate On Your Back - Or Are You About To Be Robbed?

Police in the U.K. have warned of a bizarre scam, obviously created by someone with a sweet tooth! This unusual scam involves the scammers, (aka thieves), approaching people and kindly letting them know they have chocolate on their backs, how the...

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I Hate Being Treated Like A Thief

Funny story: I Hate Being Treated Like A Thief

Yesterday, an incident happened to me at a local warehouse store. That incident enraged me and had me shooting steam out of my ears and spitting fire. While there is some humour in this article, let me say that it is mostly editorial. I take full responsibility for the words here, because they are mine. This publication/on line magazine recognizes that and is not responsible for my feeling t...

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Thief in Burka gets off as victim fails to identify her

Funny story: Thief in Burka gets off as victim fails to identify her

A female thief known as Fatima the Thief who is apparently responsible for hundreds of robberies in the North of England seems to keep getting away with her crimes because she wears a Burka. She allegedly attacked a 92 year old man in Newcastle and s...

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Thief Claims Lady Gaga Put Him Up To It

Funny story: Thief Claims Lady Gaga Put Him Up To It

Magistrates at Uttercrap Magistrates Court were taken aback today when a defendant accused of theft claimed that the pop singing curiosity Lady Gaga had put him up to it. Nick Pantz, of Nickton Court in the town, accused of stealing ladies panties...

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Botched Burglary Boils Boyles Blood

Funny story: Botched Burglary Boils Boyles Blood

In a shock discovery, Susan Boyle returned home to find a man in her house. The Scottish tree pig had been recording a song for the 'Stop Haiti Shaking' fund, when she returned to her council house in West Lothian. As she opened the front door...

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Breaking news…

Trump Now Also President of Egypt

President Donald Trump now claims to be part Egyptian after a new mummy was uncovered. Noted the President, "Look! It's old, wrinkly, shriveled, and orange! Just like me!"
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