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Funny satire stories about Theresa May

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Funny story: Stop! In The Name Of Search!

Stop! In The Name Of Search!

A government study has discovered that 1/3 of all police "stop and searches" are illegal. The searches have been carried out (despite being signed off by a senior officer) without any "due reason" and innocent people have been searched only because t...
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Funny story: Disasters committee launches TV appeal to buy Brit Home Secretary Theresa May a 'magic' ionic hairbrush

Disasters committee launches TV appeal to buy Brit Home Secretary Theresa May a 'magic' ionic hairbrush

London - The nation needs redemption from the savage misery inflicted on hapless TV viewers subjected to close-ups of Theresa May's terrible 'haunted house' hair. In an era of unprecedented advances in hair beauty products Ms May remains a stalwa...
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Funny story: Local colleges open for crash Wassailing courses

Local colleges open for crash Wassailing courses

Theresa May has ordered all Christmas and New Year immigrants to attend wassailing lessons so they can "fit in" with the newly discovered post Thatcher communities. According to the Oxford English Dictionary "waes hael" is the Middle English (and...
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Funny story: Theresa May suspects she should remain anonymous until charged

Theresa May suspects she should remain anonymous until charged

London - "There will be circumstances," Home Secretary Theresa May said today, "when keeping yer gob shut and pleading The Fifth will be in the best interests of the Conservative Party." That means people who have been arrested should not be named...
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Funny story: Nick Clegg Sets the UK Security Bond Immigration Rate at £1,000 (Vat Inc).

Nick Clegg Sets the UK Security Bond Immigration Rate at £1,000 (Vat Inc).

In a new twist and turn of PM David Cameron's recent visit to India Nick Clegg has paved the way for anybody to come to Britain en masse from India and Pakistan for the price of £1,000 sterling and Chicken Tikka Masala with extra rice. In a spee...
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Funny story: Theresa May On Mutiny Maneuvres For Tory Leadership

Theresa May On Mutiny Maneuvres For Tory Leadership

Head girl, Theresa May, has shown naked ambition in setting her sights on the Tory leadership. The 'kitten heeled' babe has gone into Servilan mode and is heading a coup to replace 'flagging' Cameron who is appearing for and more 'battle fatigued'.
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Funny story: MPs' Outrage at McKinnon Verdict

MPs' Outrage at McKinnon Verdict

British computer hacker Gary McKinnon will not be extradited to the US, Home Secretary Theresa May announced in the House of Commons today. Her decision was greeted by cat calls and expressions of disgust from the opposition benches. Mr McKinnon...
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Funny story: 101 Non-Emergency Number To Be Scrapped

101 Non-Emergency Number To Be Scrapped

Following literally some consultation the UK Home Office has decided to scrap the Single Non-Emergency Number (SNEN). Introduced in 2006 by the last Labour government, the public, who are notoriously idiotic found it virtually impossible to decide...
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Funny story: Local Man Brands Home Secretary, Theresa May, As: "A Brain-Dead Muppet"

Local Man Brands Home Secretary, Theresa May, As: "A Brain-Dead Muppet"

Speaking from his 1960's retro-themed council tower block in Titchfield, Hants this evening, local man, Martin Shuttlecock angrily declared that in his opinion, Home Secretary, Theresa May, is "a brain-dead muppet" with no tangible grip on reality, a...
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Funny story: Little Fox Alerts Security Of Terrorist Plot At Olympic Park!

Little Fox Alerts Security Of Terrorist Plot At Olympic Park!

The government has raised the UK's current terrorist threat level to 'severe', meaning a terrorist attack is now thought to be 'highly likely', following an incident at the new Olympic Park in East London this morning after a fox was seen outside the...
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Funny story: Control pants to replace electronic ankle tag says Theresa May

Control pants to replace electronic ankle tag says Theresa May

London - Sex and other offenders on parole are to be given the option of a new kind of non-surreptitious surveillance tool the Home Secretary announced today. Electronic control pants that combine spandex-reinforced micro-circuit gadgetry with the...
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Funny story: 10 Questions For Home Secretary Theresa May

10 Questions For Home Secretary Theresa May

1. Do people ever confuse you with Teresa (no h) May, the 'glamour' model who appeared in the Prodigy music video 'Smack My Bitch Up' 2. Why do so many ships sink on May Day? 3. Do you know where your diary is today? 4. Do you know what day it is today? 5. Do you ever confuse your Diary with your Dairy? 6. Do you know how many units of alcohol you've drunk this week? 7. When David Cameron go...
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Funny story: NATO empaths penetrate Downing Street firewall

NATO empaths penetrate Downing Street firewall

London - Highly trained psychic worriers have broken through security barriers shielding the Prime Monster according to reports. Late last night a crack NATO special combat squad penetrated microwave barriers protecting David Cameron and his Mrs...
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Funny story: May Days Alarming Cock Up

May Days Alarming Cock Up

Theresa May has got her days in a muddle in a European Court bid by Abu Guitar over his deportation to Jordan. May claims she has the date of May Day right because it is her birthday. 'Would I get that wrong?' she asked a puzzled House of Commons.
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Funny story: Abu Qatada May Go Or He May Not. He May Be Gone By May. May Still Be Here For The Olympics

Abu Qatada May Go Or He May Not. He May Be Gone By May. May Still Be Here For The Olympics

Home Secretary Theresa May, may or may not have got her dates confused over the appeal deadline for terror suspect, Abu Qatada, although independent lawyers insist that Qatada may or may not be deported by May - stating that a monumental cock-up with...
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Funny story: Abu Qatada sent to Jordan

Abu Qatada sent to Jordan

Theresa May has announced that she's sending preacher Abu Qatada back to Jordan. Qatada was deeply distressed by this and said 'No, please don't make me go. Jordan makes me dress in pink hot pants and every night she sings at me until I scream. I wou...
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Funny story: Knickers on the net

Knickers on the net

Cabinet minister Theresa May has been pleading poverty again and is using it as an excuse to sell her severely soiled knickers on the internet using the slogan, Theresa's Teasers. In justification for her latest moneymaking venture she complains...
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Funny story: Theresa May, Al Pacino, Kristen Stewart And Martin Shuttlecock Are Coming To Dorking!

Theresa May, Al Pacino, Kristen Stewart And Martin Shuttlecock Are Coming To Dorking!

As unholy an alliance as it seems, the above named will actually be appearing in Dorking for six weeks over the Christmas holiday period, in the Dorking Review Theatre's yuletide festive panto production treat, Cinderella. Directed by am-dram impr...
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Breaking News...

Style Maven/Ex-Con Stewart Announces Her Latest For the Holiday

Stewart today touted her rollout of MarthaGoblers--designer turkeys for the Thanksgiving feast. MarthaGoblers are available in various skin-tone shades from Titian Brown to Chirascuro Noir and Blanc
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