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Funny story: 'Heartless' thief steals Disability Scooter

'Heartless' thief steals Disability Scooter

A heartless thief broke into the property of locally named Spack McCrackin, in Cradley Heath, West Midlands, and 'fled' on the £2,000 machine. Det Con Stirling Moss said: "This is a very upsetting case as one person's thoughtless crime as left the...
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Funny story: Animal thief hit 21 pet stores across West Midlands in seven months

Animal thief hit 21 pet stores across West Midlands in seven months

A brazen thief has admitted taking various pets from 21 pet stores across the Black Country and Staffordshire without paying for them during a seven-month stealing spree. Ecbert Sitz drove across various towns in the West Midlands with the intent...
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Funny story: Shopkeeper's pocket tissues stolen by thieves

Shopkeeper's pocket tissues stolen by thieves

A shopkeeper who fell victim to a distraction theft says he has been overwhelmed with well wishes. A man entered the Bookshop in East Grinstead, West Sussex and asked for a cup of tea, before reaching into the shopkeeper's pockets and stealing his...
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Funny story: Crooks claim they are born again scoundrels

Crooks claim they are born again scoundrels

Bundy Hills- A community is on the edge after a rash of home invasion burglaries committed by fake Jehovah's Witnesses. Police said they're aware of at least four burglaries in one day in Bundy Hills. But startled neighbors said there have been mo...
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Funny story: Poor Blackout of solar eclipse blamed for scuppered robbery

Poor Blackout of solar eclipse blamed for scuppered robbery

The O'Reilly Twins from Westerhailes in Edinburgh were caught red handed boarding a number 25 bus just two minutes after raiding the Sparkles Jewellery Emporium on Friday. Using the solar eclipse as cover, at approximately 9.30am, the bungling robber...
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Funny story: Critic of Hilary Email Controversy Critics: Infrastructure Falling Apart

Critic of Hilary Email Controversy Critics: Infrastructure Falling Apart

Washington DC - Making the rounds on the major news networks, former Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell mocked the press''s fixation on Former Secretary of State Clinton hiding her emails and said "infrastructure" is falling apart. "Our sewage lines...
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Funny story: Thief in red van steals letters from post boxes

Thief in red van steals letters from post boxes

POLICE have launched a man-hunt following the theft of letters and parcels from postal Pillar Boxes across the UK. Members of the public reported to Police a red van drawing up at double yellow lines, shortly vacated by a blue-capped man in his 40...
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Funny story: Man Finally Caught Stealing From Neighbour With Alzheimer's

Man Finally Caught Stealing From Neighbour With Alzheimer's

A man was last night convicted of the theft of a sofa belonging to his next-door neighbour, who suffers from Alzheimer's disease. Jez Bishop, 45, from Nottingham has been living the high life for years because he has been regularly stealing from h...
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Funny story: Pope Francis Will Clean Up, Not Shut Down Vatican Bank

Pope Francis Will Clean Up, Not Shut Down Vatican Bank

The Vatican bank is to stay in business despite speculation Pope Francis might close down the scandal-plagued institution, according to the latest report. After months of investigation and consultation, the Vatican announced the pope had opted for...
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Funny story: Out of Sight, Out of Mind

Out of Sight, Out of Mind

The police of Nice, France were somewhat embarrassed this morning, sheepishly admitting to a clamouring throng of reporters in a small room of uncomfortable chairs, that they had made an error in earlier reports of the recovery of a stolen masterpiec...
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Funny story: ...I dig it, I really dig it!

...I dig it, I really dig it!

Robbers have dug a 50ft tunnel to plunder £70,000 from a cashpoint machine in what could be their fourth raid, it has been revealed! The thieves, dubbed "the great escape crew", are thought to have spent months using teaspoons they had collected v...
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Funny story: Strange and Unexplained Phenomena Reported by Metro Area Youth

Strange and Unexplained Phenomena Reported by Metro Area Youth

Are the dead rising from local cemeteries and terrorizing our local youth population? You could come to that conclusion after speaking with several local young people who have reported not only "ghostly" and unexplained phenomena, but a steady inc...
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Funny story: Business magnate sentenced to 25 years to life in maximum-security federal penitentiary for stealing a loaf of bread

Business magnate sentenced to 25 years to life in maximum-security federal penitentiary for stealing a loaf of bread

Mike Hawke, CEO of Blue Blood Pharmaceuticals, appeared before the Honorable Judge Colin Stern, this afternoon and was sentenced to 25 years to life in prison for what Forbes declared "The Crime of the 21st Century". The incident in question too...
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Funny story: Serial Pot Thief Hits Boulder, Colorado

Serial Pot Thief Hits Boulder, Colorado

BOULDER, COLORADO - Police authorities in Boulder have been investigating a flurry of pot thefts in the community. Since the end of January over 20 different residents have reported the loss of their Cannabis plants. Colorado's recently passed ma...
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Funny story: Most Stolen Item in America?

Most Stolen Item in America?

You'll have to guess several times as this writer gave it my beat shot! Believe it or not, it's hogs. I know you're thinking why so many hogs? Well, for one thing, an average sized hog can bring you $250 if you already have a customer ready to sl...
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Funny story: Armed Police mistake colour chart for missing Damien Horst colour spot painting

Armed Police mistake colour chart for missing Damien Horst colour spot painting

Armed art trained police swooped on a decorators van in Notting Hill this morning. Mr. C. Mycrack told our reporter, "I had this Crown Paints gloss colour chart in the back of my van, its just a kind of large sheet of coloured circles that my custome...
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Funny story: Kristen Stewart In Trouble With L.A. Police Department

Kristen Stewart In Trouble With L.A. Police Department

During the past several months Thieves have been robbing Kristen Stewart blind while she has been on the road and doing a lot of filming. She had placed call after call to the L. A. Police and no one was ever caught. In fact, she told a reporter t...
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Funny story: Lady Steals Frozen Chickens

Lady Steals Frozen Chickens

A compulsive shoplifter was admitted to hospital in Margate today suffering from hypothermia. Gladys McGurgle of Conker Road was accused of theft from Tesco on Saturday. Police said that in addition to several other items, Mrs McGurgle had taken...
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Breaking News...

L.A.P.D Weighs in on Jenner's Transformation

"Bruce Jenner drove like a prick," said a police spokesman. " Caitlyn drives like a cunt. Any questions?"
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