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Funny story:  Dorking Publicist Hires Stately Home For Live Internet Streamed Wild Celebrity Sex Orgy - Nobody Shows Up

Dorking Publicist Hires Stately Home For Live Internet Streamed Wild Celebrity Sex Orgy - Nobody Shows Up

Self styled Dorking based publicist, Damian Pinter, was left counting the cost today, as his latest ambitious project was judged to be little more than an abject failure. Pinter, a youthful, outgoing, 81 year old opportunist revealed that he had h...
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Funny story:  Announcements - Dorking Library Lectures 2012

Announcements - Dorking Library Lectures 2012

Dorking Library has finally announced details of its Summer Lectures schedule, accidentally timed to clash with the Olympic Games and a brand new series of Downton Abbey on the television. 24/05/12 - Secrets Of Successful Stand Up Comedy French stand up comedy legend, Ricardo La Tete reveals how he took the Paris stand up scene by storm, and shares the secrets of his success with the good bu...
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Funny story:  Dorking Man Ali Baba and the 'Forty Sleeves' win International Design Award

Dorking Man Ali Baba and the 'Forty Sleeves' win International Design Award

Dorking Kebab shop owner Ali Baba today told of his pride at winning an award for his 'Family Octopus Jumper'. Baba, 43, who has owned the Kebab shop in Dorking High St for 6 years, keeps pet octopuses at his family home, but told how they suffere...
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Funny story:  Dorking man sells fax machine

Dorking man sells fax machine

Ali Baba, owner of Dorking Kebab House on Dorking High St, announced today that he will be selling his fax machine as he discovered the only other owner of a fax machine in the United Kingdom lived in the flat above his shop. Mr Baba, 43, has owne...
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Funny story:  Twitchy Dorking Dentist Calls It A Day

Twitchy Dorking Dentist Calls It A Day

A Dental Surgery on Pulp Street in Dorking closed its doors for the final time today, as Dorking Dentist John Douglas finally decided to call it a day, and hang up his drill. Douglas blamed a chronic lack of patients for the closure, as he admitte...
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Funny story:  Local Man Pays £300 To Have 3,000th Spoof Published As Wife Runs Off With Dodgy East End West Ham Loving Car Mechanic

Local Man Pays £300 To Have 3,000th Spoof Published As Wife Runs Off With Dodgy East End West Ham Loving Car Mechanic

A distraught Martin Shuttlecock, one time Dorking resident, now of Titchfield, somewhere near the Isle Of Widget, today revealed that he has been forced into paying £300 in order to have his latest Spoof news item published. "Ten pee a story doesn...
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Funny story:  Sunday Times Rich List Features Local Tycoons

Sunday Times Rich List Features Local Tycoons

The annual bible of the UK's richest people will feature a group of local media magnates for the first time when it is published tomorrow. The Sunday Times Rich List logs the ups and downs the country's richest people, listing the annual incomes f...
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Funny story:  Man Sets Fire to Hedge 'So Fire Brigade Would Hose his Lawn'

Man Sets Fire to Hedge 'So Fire Brigade Would Hose his Lawn'

A Dorking resident was so frustrated he couldn't water his lawn under the current hosepipe ban that he deliberately set fire to a neighbour's hedge, in the hope that the emergency services - by extinguishing it - would simultaneously water his grass.
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Funny story:  Local Man Infuriated As He Gets Both Barrels From All Directions

Local Man Infuriated As He Gets Both Barrels From All Directions

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was reported as being so angry on Saturday evening that he could have ripped the head off a cuddly teddy bear. A seething Shuttlecock related that recently he seems to be getting shot at from all directions and claims...
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Funny story:  Dorking Porn Star Couple Axed For Excessive Flatulence On Set

Dorking Porn Star Couple Axed For Excessive Flatulence On Set

Dorking's own famous porn star couple, Tracy Storm and Harry Knutsford were sent packing from the set of Hollywood adult movie extravaganza, 'By Jove, That's A Stonker!' by Director, Phil Cleavage, after apparently suffering from excessive flatulence...
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Funny story:  70% Of Dorking Cod Perish In Week One Of Hosepipe Ban

70% Of Dorking Cod Perish In Week One Of Hosepipe Ban

Conservationists from the Ministry of Agriculture fear that stocks of Dorking Cod on Surrey's River Mole fell 70% in the very first week of the hosepipe ban. Haddock stocks are reported to be down by 18%, Guildford Sole 23% and Leatherhead Gurnard 3...
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Funny story:  The Dorking Review To Spawn A Sequel? You're Having A Turkish!

The Dorking Review To Spawn A Sequel? You're Having A Turkish!

Rumours currently circulating around the offices of the Spoof website in Lancaster, suggest that a number of the site's contributors are planning on releasing a sequel to the massively unpopular, very nearly mediocre selling paperback book, 'The Dork...
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Funny story:  Spoofer Martin Shuttlecock To Interview Spoof Legend Colonel Juan Live On Air On You Tube

Spoofer Martin Shuttlecock To Interview Spoof Legend Colonel Juan Live On Air On You Tube

It's the breaking news of the century - probably the 16th Century, but reports coming in to Skoob Entertainment News appear to strongly suggest that Spoof writer, Martin Shuttlecock - he of the pork pie hat, and the acrylic teeth - has secured an exc...
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Funny story:  Local Man Introduces Kebab Mogul Ali Bullo To Spoof Godfather Colonel Juan

Local Man Introduces Kebab Mogul Ali Bullo To Spoof Godfather Colonel Juan

In a sensational breaking news story, it can finally be revealed that over the weekend, local man Martin Shuttlecock, actually introduced Spoof Godfather, Colonel Juan, to legendary south coast kebab and burger tycoon, Ali Bullo. Although only ov...
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Funny story:  Dorking Farmer Grows World's Biggest Cumberland Sausage

Dorking Farmer Grows World's Biggest Cumberland Sausage

Stan Prosser, the Dorking farmer who grows genetically modified black puddings, has produced a record breaking 22lb 3oz Cumberland sausage. "You could 'ave blown me down with a chipolata when I saw that sausage comin' up in the field," laughed a d...
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Funny story:  Tales From Stella Street, Dorking - With Yuck Skidmark

Tales From Stella Street, Dorking - With Yuck Skidmark

Hi there. You probably don't know me, but that's beside the point. I'm Yuck Skidmark, and I live in Stella Street, Dorking, which although you've probably never heard of it, is where international superstars (who aren't in rehab) come to chill out and take five. It's an interesting street, with lots of exciting stuff going on in it, and near it, come to think of it. So I thought I'd write do...
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Funny story:  Dorking Shipyard Wins Prestigious Greek Supertanker Contract

Dorking Shipyard Wins Prestigious Greek Supertanker Contract

Dorking shipbuilder, Archibald Clackitt & Sons, was today awarded the hotly contested £130m contract to build new Greek supertanker Pride of Athens. At just over 500 metres long and with an unladen weight of 620,000 metric tons, the tanker wil...
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Funny story:  Martin Shuttlecock's New Year Address

Martin Shuttlecock's New Year Address

Good Evening. I'm Martin Shuttlecock, and speaking on behalf of my beloved wife and myself, I would like to extend the warmest of New Year's greetings and felicitations to those who read this. The ones who don't can all fuck off. Right - It's traditional to look to the New Year with optimism. It's the done thing to hope for a peaceful New Year, and wish happiness, health and prosperity up...
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