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Funny satire stories about Texting

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Funny story: Are text abbreviations a time-honored panacea?

Are text abbreviations a time-honored panacea?

Text abbreviations are a part of our lives. Why do we use texting shortcuts? Nearly everyone will agree that they save time. For instance, to proverbially pat the back of someone who has said something exceptionally funny, you can simply type "LMAO".
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Funny story: Nebraska First State to Prohibit Texting While in an Accident

Nebraska First State to Prohibit Texting While in an Accident

The state of Nebraska has passed strict regulations prohibiting texting while in a car accident. They have added the clause describing any such accident as "fatal or not," adding what they consider to be "real strength" to the law. A spokespers...
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Funny story: Cat Makes 2000 Mile Journey Home Only To Be Ran Over By Texting Teen

Cat Makes 2000 Mile Journey Home Only To Be Ran Over By Texting Teen

A 3-year-old orange tabby cat who famously crossed the United States on foot to reunite with his family after he was mistakenly left behind by movers has been run over and squashed in what family and friends are calling a 'bloodbath'. Sammy, who i...
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Funny story: Text Walking to Become New Olympic Sport

Text Walking to Become New Olympic Sport

Rio de Janeiro - Text walking will become the newest sport to be part of the Olympic Games starting in Rio in 2016. The act of texting while walking has never been considered a sport but since so few people get killed while performing the act, Olympi...
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Funny story: Report Suggests That Texting While Riding A Motorcycle Probably Dangerous

Report Suggests That Texting While Riding A Motorcycle Probably Dangerous

A new report published this week by the National Transportation Safety Board has advised motorcyclists that sending text messages while riding their bikes "is probably pretty dangerous" and "really should be discouraged." While it is illegal to...
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Funny story: Michelle Obama Hits The Roof As She Sees A Text Message To Her Husband From The Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt

Michelle Obama Hits The Roof As She Sees A Text Message To Her Husband From The Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Word coming out of the White House is that there was a pretty good fireworks display the other night. The light show took place in the Presidential Bedroom. An inside source stated that the first lady saw a text message from Hel...
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Funny story: Florida Father Vetoes Controversial Phone Bill

Florida Father Vetoes Controversial Phone Bill

Florida based dad Kenny Mook announced Wednesday he has vetoed a controversial telephone bill that would have allowed his daughter to continue texting, playing games and chit chatting with her friends when she be doing her homework. Mook, who spe...
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Funny story: Pakistan Has Outlawed Texting While Riding A Yak

Pakistan Has Outlawed Texting While Riding A Yak

KARACHI, Pakistan - The government of Pakistan has issued a Presidential Directive which will go into effect at 12:07 am on Saturday, March 1, 2014. A spokesperson for the Pakistani government stated that the number of accidents occurring due to p...
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Funny story: Cincinnati Teen Run Over Twice While Texting Her Friend

Cincinnati Teen Run Over Twice While Texting Her Friend

CINCINNAT, OH--A Cincinnati teenager, Brittany Simpson, was run over twice on Thursday while texting her friend as she crossed 4th and Walnut St. While Brittany was crossing the street, absorbed in her Smart Phone, a Ford Focus ran over the sixtee...
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Funny story: Iowa Bans The Texting Of Curse Words

Iowa Bans The Texting Of Curse Words

DES MOINES, Iowa - The vast majority of Iowa citizens overwhelmingly agreed that the use of curse words in texting had gotten out of hand. A group from Des Moines calling itself The Just Say No To (Expletive) Texting went all the way to the Iowa s...
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Funny story: Nevada Votes To Outlaw Texting During Sex

Nevada Votes To Outlaw Texting During Sex

CARSON CITY, Nevada - In a move that state senators hope will help to ease the rising divorce rate in the state, the Nevada Senate has voted 17-4 to outlaw texting during the sex act. One senator, who asked that we not reveal his name, said that h...
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Funny story: Textlish accepted in Schools

Textlish accepted in Schools

After years of fighting it, teachers nationwide are now accepting Textlish as a legitimate writing style. Skipping articles like "the" and "an" and spelling phonetically is improper English but it's fine in Textlish. Now high schools and even middle...
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Funny story: New York Warns That The Days of Texting While Driving Are Over

New York Warns That The Days of Texting While Driving Are Over

ALBANY, New York - Governor Andrew Cuomo has just issued a directive that the state will no longer tolerate anyone texting while operating a vehicle. The governor said that the problem has gotten way out of hand and he has decided that the time ha...
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Funny story: Studies Show Too Much Texting Can Lead To Inverted Nipples

Studies Show Too Much Texting Can Lead To Inverted Nipples

CHICAGO - Recent studies on the mechanics of texting have shown that overdoing it can lead to some serious complications. Professor Verdana Mindy Tenditucker, head of the Anatomical Department at Cottonball State University in Tuscaloosa, Alabama,...
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Funny story: City to install airbags in downtown lampposts to protect texting pedestrians

City to install airbags in downtown lampposts to protect texting pedestrians

The city council last night voted to spend $250,000 to install automotive-type airbags on all downtown lampposts. The decision came after hundreds of pedestrians have been injured over the past few years while inadvertently walking into posts wh...
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Funny story: President of the Palestinian Authority, Mahmoud Abbas, up in arms over spam texts

President of the Palestinian Authority, Mahmoud Abbas, up in arms over spam texts

The President of the Palestinian Authority, Mahmoud Abbas, is now up in arms over spam texts, although, it must be added that on this occasion, it's not firearms. Palestinians throughout Gaza are being inundated with unwanted spam text messages ur...
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Funny story: Jeff Gordon Nascar Fight Triggered By Texting

Jeff Gordon Nascar Fight Triggered By Texting

Homestead, FL - The embarrassing brawl that Nascar Superstar, Jeff Gordon, and his pit crew were involved in at the Phoenix International Raceway on Sunday with rival Clint Bowyer, appears to have been in the name of track safety. It seems that the u...
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Funny story: Pietersen Back For England

Pietersen Back For England

Controversial South African born England batsmen, Kevin Pietersen, has reached an agreement with the ECB that will see him return for the tour to India. The "provocative text" saga which has rumbled on since the summer series against South Africa...
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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