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Funny satire stories about Terrorism

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Funny story: Best Torture for Terrorists - Nagging American Women!

Best Torture for Terrorists - Nagging American Women!

Terrorists treat their women like dogs. As a result, they have NO idea how viscous a nagging wife can be -especially a good old fashioned average "American Nagging Wife" (I don't include girlfriend nagging, just as viscious, because terrorists don't have girlfriends - that would imply courtship, and options for the women.) You put a suspected terrorist in a room for one hour with a nagging Amer...
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Funny story: Building a Snowman... the Road to Damnation

Building a Snowman... the Road to Damnation

When snow covered Tabuk Province near Saudi Arabia's border with Jordan for the third consecutive year Sheikh Mohammed Saleh al-Munajjid sprang immediately into action: "It is not permitted to make a statue out of snow, even by way of play and fun,"...
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Funny story: Government minister: 'better France than us'

Government minister: 'better France than us'

A high ranking government official has expressed his relief that last week's terrorist attacks took place in Paris rather than in London. The former cabinet minister, who wishes to remain anonymous, told this satirist, "I'm delighted that the terr...
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Funny story: Hell Posts Temporary "No Vacancy" Sign After Hebdo Killers Show Up Today

Hell Posts Temporary "No Vacancy" Sign After Hebdo Killers Show Up Today

HELL - The Devil is complaining that Hell is getting too full of Islamic terrorists who insist on killing innocent people that don't share their same worldview. He hung up a temporary "No Vacancy" sign outside the entrance after accepting the sou...
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Funny story: Al-Qaeda the Musical Bombs at Box Office

Al-Qaeda the Musical Bombs at Box Office

In an attempt to soften the image of the infamous terror group Al-Qaeda, the group referred to as The Musical Jihadists wish to prove to the world at large that they really are lovers of the arts and theatre and not the homicidal maniacs that everyon...
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Funny story: Islamic Terrorists Shot In Paris Arrive In Jihadist Heaven

Islamic Terrorists Shot In Paris Arrive In Jihadist Heaven

The three Islamic assassins who killed French citizens at Charlie Hebdo and a Jewish delicatessen arrive at the destination they had given their lives for, the Jihadist heaven promised them. An angel greets them as they arrive. "Welcome gentlemen. I hope your journey was peaceful." "Hardly!" stated Said Kouachi sarcastically. "We got our shit shot to pieces." "You can say that again." Sai...
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Funny story: 'Bum rap' defence will never be tried as Abu Anus al-Libi drops dead from 'complications'

'Bum rap' defence will never be tried as Abu Anus al-Libi drops dead from 'complications'

New York - Alleged Al Qaeda embassy bombings specialist Abu Anus al-Libi has kicked the bucket just daze before standing trial on terror charges. FBI sources said he'd been caught in a classic sting after special agents secreted a cell phone 'ins...
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Funny story: $5m reward for capture of ex-Gitmo con freed on Bush's ordures

$5m reward for capture of ex-Gitmo con freed on Bush's ordures

Washington DC - A former Guantanamo Bay detainee named as Ibrahim al-Rubbish is a wanted man again after posting a load of inflammatory pro-terror stuff on the Jihadi Garbage-U-Like.con webshite. Pentagon loss adjusters named the walking Al Qaeda...
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Funny story: UK Bookies Jubilant over Sydney Attack

UK Bookies Jubilant over Sydney Attack

UK bookies made a mint by leaving out Australia as a candidate for the next 'terrorist attack' and had instead the UK as clear favourite with Spain second. The gunman who laid siege to a Sydney restaurant was named as Man Haron Monis. He forced so...
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Funny story: ISIS aim to take over the UK through sperm

ISIS aim to take over the UK through sperm

After the news that Britain is running out of sperm donors ISIS have moved quickly to fill the gap, sending jihadists back to the UK not to blow anything up, but to blow off. "We are a patient terrorist group," said ISIS leader, Al an Ansen. "As w...
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Funny story: SISS Members Use Cardboard Cut-Out to Replace Leader

SISS Members Use Cardboard Cut-Out to Replace Leader

Desperate to replace their lost leader, Al Bhagtitties, SISS members quickly put together a tape recording and cardboard cut-out of his image drawn with a black sharpie. "It looks just like him Allah be phrased, down to the black beard with squig...
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Funny story: Senator Rand Paul Quarantined After Contracting Ebola

Senator Rand Paul Quarantined After Contracting Ebola

BOWLING GREEN, KY-Libertarian firebrand Rand Paul has apparently contracted Ebola from a virus that was carried all the way to Bowling Green, Kentucky, via La Nina, from Liberia. Paul contracted the deadly virus only days after telling Concord N...
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Funny story: Terrorism. Who's Next? Ask the Bookies!

Terrorism. Who's Next? Ask the Bookies!

Following the murder of a soldier in Ottawa by a crazed 'Muslim' convert Michael Zehaf-Bibeau, bookies in the UK are offering odds as to what country will be next. The assailant claimed apparently that he had been "chased by the devil" leading to speculation of how he got the idea and where exactly it came from. And did the devil speak with an hypnotic American or British accent? Whether wired to...
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Funny story: New Terrorist Group "SHAZAAM" Says ISIS is for Punks!

New Terrorist Group "SHAZAAM" Says ISIS is for Punks!

An even more violent and ruthless terrorist group "Shazaam" released a video today calling ISIS members "Punks" and "Pussy Boys". The twenty minute video showed the groups leader, tearing off the head of a captured ISIS fighter and then eating s...
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Funny story: Arabic man gets through airport security without any hassle

Arabic man gets through airport security without any hassle

When Abdullah Al-Bariq passed through security at Detroit Metro Airport last weekend without being questioned, detained, or extensively-searched, he was delighted, yet very surprised. "Usually I get to the airport at least 12 hours ahead of time,...
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Funny story: Wal-Mart Workers Must Pay Higher Taxes For War

Wal-Mart Workers Must Pay Higher Taxes For War

Senate and Congressional candidates held a joint news conference today where they warned that ISIS and other terrorists would soon cross the border with Mexico. "We'll all be murdered in our beds, " said Republican candidate for the N.H. senate seat...
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Funny story: Brit used car bomb-trading scam to bankroll terror

Brit used car bomb-trading scam to bankroll terror

London - Police have named an Anglo-Pakistani national wanted for an alleged $1.70bn fraud linked to doshing up suspect Middle Eastern terror gangs. Kamel Drum a-Deiri is wanted for questioning about a worldwide used car bomb-trading scam uncover...
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Funny story: U.S. Should Bomb Isis Coming Into Tx. From Mexico

U.S. Should Bomb Isis Coming Into Tx. From Mexico

Polls just out indicate that a large majority of Americans 1) support air strikes on Isis; 2) A majority thinks that President Obama has not been "tough enough" on Isis, during a time that he is widely expanding the war; -- 3) A large majority opp...
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