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Funny story: Upon Hearing New UN Sanctions, North Korea's Kim Jong Un Talks of Retaliation

Upon Hearing New UN Sanctions, North Korea's Kim Jong Un Talks of Retaliation

Pyongyang, North Korea Rotund North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un issued some new threats to the Western World, in retaliation for the latest round of sanctions on North Korea by the UN. Kim Jong-Un will: *No longer allow his all-girl band to travel outside the country. *No longer let tourists photograph the giant Kim Song-Il statue. *Flood the Internet with penile enlargement spam. *...
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Funny story: Obama Disarms ISIS with His Trademark Smile

Obama Disarms ISIS with His Trademark Smile

After decades of an expanding - and largely ineffective - "War on Terror," President Barack Obama recently succeeded in disarming the militant jihadist group ISIS using merely his trademark smile. Sources report that in a confidential meeting wit...
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Funny story: Humiliation for Terrorists!

Humiliation for Terrorists!

The new Terrorism Control Act which became law at midnight last night introduces a new range of Terrorism Related Offences (TROs) and takes a surprisingly innovative approach to the punishment of those offences. The Act defines TROs as the manufa...
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Funny story: Guantánamo Detainee Refuses Offer of Release After 14 Years in Prison and Tosses Conical Hat in the Ring

Guantánamo Detainee Refuses Offer of Release After 14 Years in Prison and Tosses Conical Hat in the Ring

WASHINGTON - Three Guantánamo detainees were slated to leave the American prison in Cuba this week after 14 years in captivity, but early Wednesday morning, only two were willing to board the plane. The third - Mohammed Ali Abdullah Bwazir of Yemen -...
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Funny story: Jobs Outlook Report Shows Likely Shortage of Suicide Bomber Instructors

Jobs Outlook Report Shows Likely Shortage of Suicide Bomber Instructors

A report released yesterday by the United Nations subcommittee for Global Employment Outlook predicts a shortage of competent suicide bomber instructors beginning in the first quarter of 2016 and continuing, likely, forever. According to the repo...
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Funny story: Congress Gangs Up On ISIS

Congress Gangs Up On ISIS

Capitol Hill - Lawmakers are launching a new strategy to fight the ISIS threat, creating the nation's first Homeboy Security Gang. The street-level enforcement group will include every American citizen, except for those who are already in pris...
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Funny story: Obama orders creation of No Walk List

Obama orders creation of No Walk List

Washington, D. C. - President Obama doubled down on his anti-second amendment rhetoric today, announcing executive action to create several new lists along the lines of the "No Fly List", including a "No Work" list and a "No Walk" list. Reaction was...
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Funny story: Heaven Running out of Virgins

Heaven Running out of Virgins

With war raging in the Middle East and terror attacks happening with greater frequency all over the world, heaven is starting to run out of virgins. According to the Koran, every Jihadist who dies is promised 72 virgins, but ever since the Syrian civ...
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Funny story: Paradise Unsure of What to Do With Martyr Couple

Paradise Unsure of What to Do With Martyr Couple

"This has us stumped," said a spokesangel in Paradise. "I mean, do we give them each seventy-two virgins? Do we make them share the same seventy-two? In the latter case, should there be thirty-six male virgins and thirty-six female?" "Or, do w...
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Funny story: NRA Demands Tighter Controls on Body Armor Sales

NRA Demands Tighter Controls on Body Armor Sales

NRA spokesmilf Sierra Paylin caught the first available flight to San Bernardino (She even spelled it right!) to address the press with regards to an issue that has been bugging the NRA for years: "How is it possible for any deranged nut in this c...
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Funny story: Wikileaks Latest...

Wikileaks Latest...

Dear diary, *sigh I have been working for five years on the International Anti-Terrorism Forensic Task Force and after examining the Paris attacks I have yet again come to the conclusion that it was the governments that were behind this. It's always the freakin' governments! Boston - government! Charlie Hebdo - government! Australia - government! And my superiors (obviously) don...
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Funny story: Nazi Technology under Consideration for Modern Application

Nazi Technology under Consideration for Modern Application

PARIS - In response to the atrocities which unfolded in Paris this weekend, the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) have deployed UN sanctioned engineers to Oswiecim, Poland, to conduct analysis on the functional...
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Funny story: Drone Address: Obama Condemns (-Ish) Suicide Bombers (2/2)

Drone Address: Obama Condemns (-Ish) Suicide Bombers (2/2)

Last time, just for a change, President Obama Sanders-meandered around for a bit, and made very heavy weather of expressing his policy intentions. But at least he got around to admitting that the world is not just shades of grey, and that there is such a thing as objective good and evil, right? Either way, (or "both and neither," if you're a certain notable Swiftboat celebrity), here's the...
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Funny story: Drone Address: Obama Condemns (-Ish) Suicide Bombers (1/2)

Drone Address: Obama Condemns (-Ish) Suicide Bombers (1/2)

President Obama has conclusively refuted all the unpatriotic pinkos who hate America so much, they want to maliciously and opportunistically hinder his drone campaign… Which latter, as we all know and agree, exists purely in order for your safety alone. Read it with an open mind. Well, I mean, c'mon; at least he's not a neocon, right? ;) Now let me say this. Well, why not? I...
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Funny story: U.S. Citizens To Be Used As Anti-Terrorist Sentries Around Europe

U.S. Citizens To Be Used As Anti-Terrorist Sentries Around Europe

French President Francois Hollande today thanked three U.S. citizens for their brave intervention on a packed Subway train after their actions thwarted a heavily armed terrorist and undoubtedly saved dozens of innocent lives. Mr Hollande wasted no...
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Funny story: Cowards lose

Cowards lose

In the small hours, the battle cries of two stray large tomcats made sleep for the inhabitants really impossible. The cries were not regular meows; they were accompanied by accentuated words and expressions very similar to man's everyday conversation and, consequently, interpretable. Whether the fight was territorial dispute or sexual claims, could not be determined. Since the fighting had beco...
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Funny story: David Cameron Declares War On Seagullic State

David Cameron Declares War On Seagullic State

Following a spate of vicious attacks on innocent members of the public by Seagullist extremists, our Prime Minister announced he plans to tackle this growing problem. Speaking in Birmingham earlier today, and wearing a protective shower cap, David...
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Funny story: Terrorists Attack The Spoof

Terrorists Attack The Spoof

With nothing left to lose, a rag-tag team of Middle Eastern Terrorists hijacked Rupert Murdoch's Lear Jet, beheaded the pilot, and took the tabloid mogul hostage - according to an NSA official who planned the mission. Speaking on the condition of ano...
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Showing page 1 (of 46 pages)
Breaking News...

Kim Jong-Un Demands Katy Perry Join His Pleasure Squad

Kim says that the US will be sorry if his orders aren't met. He will consider Taylor Swift instead.
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