QM-NewsCorpse reporters have been given unprecedented access to the Bureau's legendary decoding unit that uses numerological, linguistic and symbological tricks to piece together terror suspects' agendas.
Here is a brief glance at its anagram division's profile of key players involved in the Boston Marathon bombings:
Chief suspects:
Tamerlan Tsarnaev anagrams to Relevant Satan Arm - a r...
Pamplona, Spain - The latest terror must-haves are a bit of a damp squib a Spanish anarchy group admitted today after a number of explosive vibrators failed the 'earth moved' test.
Half a dozen home-made weed killer devices powered by pay-as-you-b...
MIAMI-April 17, 2013- Authorities have released new information regarding Monday's Boston Marathon Bomber and are urging the public to assist in his apprehension. The Bomber is thought to be responsible for Monday's terrifying terror attack that left...
Muslim "suicide bombers" in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike next Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.
The unres...
There was high drama in the Island's largest city today as seven armed hostages took over Newport's tallest building, the five story Debenhams Department Store.
They stormed the building just before opening time and herded the thirty staff up to t...
London Chief Constable, Brian Hogan, today confirmed the Police were exploiting the major weakness in the terrorists' armour: the fact that terrorists consistently look like terrorists.
The Commissioner explained, "this gives us the upper hand bec...
Washington, DC -- Under growing criticism for using remote-controlled aircraft to hunt down and kill suspected terrorists, the Defense Department has transferred its top-secret aerial assassination program to the Mafia.
"Anybody got any complaints...
"I think they did it on purpose. They knew what it was and I should have guessed something was wrong when the shop girls started to snigger and point at me. They didn't warn me."
Speaking on condition of anonymity and asking to be referred to as...
Manhattan, NY - Authorities in New York announced on Wednesday that they had intercepted a man at JFK international airport, suspected of planning to carry out a plot to bring down the plane he was travelling in over New York, upon arrival from Londo...
Airports, seeking to get more money out of passengers exiting through their gates on international flights, have come up with inventive new ways of sucking the money out of their pockets.
Most airports have already come up with the ingenious meth...
Al Qaeda has announced they will no longer have a number 2 following the death of Said al-Shihri who was hanging out at the Al Qaeda Local 42 in Yemen, when he was hit by a US terrorist seeking missile. Said was just about to give a humorous speech...
Herds of well trained cows have stormed supermarkets and local government buildings in a bid to support the farmers' strike.
A calculated and precise act of terrorism has prevented customers from purchasing milk. It has been alleged farmers have...
Knowledge like vaccination stimulates the mind and helps man reach advancement. Swindlers, modern or old, can easily deceive a superficial mind.
Kazim, an Afghan, is a good example of 21st century vandalism. Presently, he is a refugee, hiding in the niches of a small construction site with zero identity documents to escape extortion or deportation.
He, 33/34, claims to have at least a wif...
Lichfield, Staffs - Armed anti-terror cops swooped on a motorway coach this morning following reports of noxious fumes wafting from a passenger's luggage.
An emergency 999 call from a London-bound Megabus claimed someone had 'poured hot water into...
New York - After years of burning through trillions of taxpayer dollars, the US Department of Homeland Security has finally scored. The agency shut down an elaborate terrorist operation that would have destroyed the heart of the city on the Fourth of...
The government has raised the UK's current terrorist threat level to 'severe', meaning a terrorist attack is now thought to be 'highly likely', following an incident at the new Olympic Park in East London this morning after a fox was seen outside the...
"Being president sounds glamorous," revealed a pensive Barack Obama during a rare private interview in the Oval Office yesterday, "but it's not all fun and games."
Obama went on to express how difficult it has been for him to keep track of what he...
President Barack Obama is personally responsible for managing a "kill list" of people targeted for assassination by the American government - no small task. In addition, it's Obama's job to personally approve any additions to the list.
At a pres...