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Funny story: Meet "Mad Dog" Mattis, the Man Who Will Keep America Safe Again and the Doctrine of Military Expediency

Meet "Mad Dog" Mattis, the Man Who Will Keep America Safe Again and the Doctrine of Military Expediency

While president-elect Donald J. Trump vows to make America "great again," James N. Mattis has been tasked with making America safe again, The retired United States Marine Corps general who last served as the 11th Commander of United States Central Command, the Unified Combatant Command responsible for American military operations in the Middle East, and the Northeast Africa and Central Asia, from...
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Funny story: Real-life plane hijack in Malta to be filmed!

Real-life plane hijack in Malta to be filmed!

A real life hijack in Malta is to be filmed because it's cheaper than the one that was actually being filmed! As soon as the film crew realised there was a real hijacking taking place, they fired the actors without pay and purchased the rights to...
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Funny story: Deciphering Donald: A Look at the Rumsfeld Doctrine of Information Dissemination

Deciphering Donald: A Look at the Rumsfeld Doctrine of Information Dissemination

Donald Henry Rumsfeld, affectionately known as "Duck" due to his ability to duck reporters' questions with his Donald Duck-like twisting of phrases, has a long and distinguished career in American politics. The former staffer has worked for many of...
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Funny story: Hacked Robotic Leg To Blame In London Kicking Rampage

Hacked Robotic Leg To Blame In London Kicking Rampage

London, UK, England - You can buy anything and connect it to the internet these days; TV's and microwaves, toilets and toasters. Even the latest artificial leg comes with online capabilities and is part of our new world's Internet Of Things. Now,...
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Funny story: Man shouts "yahtzee" at inappropriate time

Man shouts "yahtzee" at inappropriate time

Service on the IRT 1 line was disrupted for nearly an hour today as police and their k9 partners searched for an elusive figure accused of yelling "Yahtzee" with no evidence of actually playing the game while traveling on a northbound Broadway local.
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Funny story: Suicide Bombers, Meet the "Bomburkalizer"

Suicide Bombers, Meet the "Bomburkalizer"

Tel Aviv; Israel: A new contraption may save scores of lives across the Middle East and the Western World from the menacing terror of suicide bombers. Israeli scientist have invented a device that fits fashionably on the human body, allows full unenc...
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Funny story: UK Schools' Chess Report

UK Schools' Chess Report

It was great year for our beloved chess team for, on the 13th of June, the four of us set off to London for the UK Schools' Chess quarter-finals. We were in high spirits as we waved goodbye to Miss Smith and boarded the plane, remembering to strap on our flak-jackets and seat-belts, for we were certain that this year, at long last, Methodist College Belfast would take home the colours. However...
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Funny story: Terrorist Film All the Rage

Terrorist Film All the Rage

The documentary was released last week. Michael Moore calls it a "masterpiece". Sean Penn stars as ex-military specialist Commander Harry Bumsfelt who has won so many combat medals in Iraq that he will only appear with them in public if aided by a hoist. For years he campaigned and lectured for peace and armaments control in a threatened world but, now retired and running a small cigarette fact...
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Funny story: Australian wins Olympic Shooting Gold - Government unaware she had a gun and will be arrested on return to Australia

Australian wins Olympic Shooting Gold - Government unaware she had a gun and will be arrested on return to Australia

Rogue Australian Gold medalist shooter Catherine Skinner has been declared a terrorist after taking her gun with her to the Olympics. Her passport has been cancelled and she will be arrested immediately on her return to Australia. If she doesn't re...
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Funny story: Public Servant cuts finger on paper, seeks to have trees declared terrorists

Public Servant cuts finger on paper, seeks to have trees declared terrorists

A high profile Australian Federal Government Department is, this morning, in deep trouble for its failure to protect employees from terrorism. What makes it all the more embarrassing is that the accusations are about the Department of Counter Terror...
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Funny story: Midlands Muslim Mixup

Midlands Muslim Mixup

A Muslim woman was stopped at Doncaster airport yesterday after she was spotted reading a book of firsthand accounts from the Syrian conflict. Faizah Saheen was pulled aside into a separated area and questioned on why she was interested in the materi...
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Funny story: Boko Haram Bites Back

Boko Haram Bites Back

In response to our exclusive piece on the Boko Haram leadership change, the old beady eyed leader Abubaker Shekau has launched a furious attack on his supposed replacement. But like most of Boko Haram's "furious attacks" it didn't really produce any...
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Funny story: Boko Haram Musical Chairs

Boko Haram Musical Chairs

Legendary ass clown terrorist group Boko Haram have a new leader and much like gynaecologists they love a good cunt. The announcement was made in the latest issue of a IS magazine which doubles up as toilet paper in most countries it's sold in. Ab...
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Funny story: Terror Attack Jumps Out Of Cupboard At The UK

Terror Attack Jumps Out Of Cupboard At The UK

"A UK terror attack is a matter of IF and not WHEN" The headline screamed out at us as we began lifting chunks of the article off the well respected news website and pasting it into our own. It sent a chill down our spine. A anonymous MET police c...
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Funny story: Area Mom's Facebook Response to Nice Attack Notes She Had a Great Meal There Once

Area Mom's Facebook Response to Nice Attack Notes She Had a Great Meal There Once

MORRISTOWN, NJ--In a Facebook post offering her condolences on the tragic events unfolding in Nice, France, area mother Brianna Simpson pointedly noted that she had a great meal in Nice several years ago. "My heart is broken about what is happenin...
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Funny story: Unfazed, Istanbul Airport Terror Bombing Suspects Return To Normal Minutes After Carnage

Unfazed, Istanbul Airport Terror Bombing Suspects Return To Normal Minutes After Carnage

Istanbul, Turkey - Traveller Cenak Dropzekluk did not let terror stop him from continuing to watch a Denise Milani Youtube Video on his Samsung Galaxy. "You should check out her tits," he said, his head wrapped in a bloody bandage. Next to hi...
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Funny story: "A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier": A Look at George W. Bush On The Eve Of His 70th Birthday

"A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier": A Look at George W. Bush On The Eve Of His 70th Birthday

Almost born on the day that our beloved country was born (July 4), George Walker Bush, son of former president and vice president George Herbert Walker Bush and brother to former governor of Florida Jeb Bush, will turn 70 this July 6th. It is fitting that his birthday falls within such an auspicious range of dates since he, and his vaunted political family, has been so integral in the formati...
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Funny story: Trump, the new terrorist

Trump, the new terrorist

Listen up ISIS. There is a bigger threat these days nearer to home (the USA). While the ISIS operates in the Middle East and has only spouted threats for actual terrorism in mainland USA, there is a regime shaping up that is more terrifying than ISIS...
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Breaking News...

Trump Will Cut Funding to Veteran's Benefits, Science, Environment, and Education in Order to Fund Wall

...and that's just for starters!
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