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Funny satire stories about Ted Williams

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Funny story: Frozen Butterball Turkey Revived By Cryogenic Scientist

Frozen Butterball Turkey Revived By Cryogenic Scientist

BILLINGSGATE POST: A scientist at a cryogenics lab in Florida reported that he successfully revived a 22 pound flash frozen Butterball turkey right before Thanksgiving. In the highly respected Scientific Journal of Cryogenics, Dr. Wilmot Scheemer de...
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Funny story: Jonathan Papelbon Defends Big Papi (or Sour Grapes Make Great Jam)

Jonathan Papelbon Defends Big Papi (or Sour Grapes Make Great Jam)

If your vine has tender grapes, you should be happy, but if your vine has grapes like David Ortiz and Jonathan Papelbon, you sought to move the pergola to another place in the yard. At the All-Star game shenanigans in Kansas City where two faces a...
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Funny story: Joan Rivers To Host The New Reality Game Show "Etch A Sketch This!"

Joan Rivers To Host The New Reality Game Show "Etch A Sketch This!"

NEW YORK CITY - Comedian Joan Rivers who appears on the E Channel show The Fashion Police as well as on WE's Joan and Melissa: Joan Knows Best has just agreed to host her very own reality game show. The razor-tongued Rivers has been signed to be t...
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Funny story: MLB Appoints Ted Williams To "Head Off" Red Sox Drinking Problem

MLB Appoints Ted Williams To "Head Off" Red Sox Drinking Problem

BOSTON - Major League Baseball Commisioner Bud Selig announced today that the frozen head of former Boston Red Sox legend, Hall of Famer Ted Williams, has been appointed to investigate the drinking that went on in the Red Sox clubhouse. Workers a...
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Funny story: Dr. Drew Passes On Ted Williams For Spinoff Show "Homeless Golden Voice Guy Rehab.

Dr. Drew Passes On Ted Williams For Spinoff Show "Homeless Golden Voice Guy Rehab.

Dr. Drew Pinsky, the "Board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist" who routinely violates the "do no harm" clause of the Hippocratic Oath by exploiting famous f--k-ups on "Celebrity Rehab", has passed on trying to detox homeless, gold...
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Funny story: Dr. Phil sends Ted Williams to Rehab

Dr. Phil sends Ted Williams to Rehab

There's no denying Ted Williams does have a fantastic voice. He's the guy who went from riches to rags and wants to get back to the riches. The video clip of Ted Williams panhandling - approaching a car - has had millions of hits on You Tube but there is definitely no fooling Dr. Phil Y'all. After all he's been doing this for over 30 years. Ted reminds me of the character 'Lurch' from th...
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Funny story: Golden-Voiced Bum to Marry Golden Girl?

Golden-Voiced Bum to Marry Golden Girl?

The golden-voiced hobo who became famous for fifteen minutes says he plans to wed Rue McClanahan after he completes rehab for drug and alcohol abuse. Ted Williams, the 53-year-old former radio announcer who lived in a cardboard box and ate cat fo...
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Saint Patrick's Day Celebrations may offend

People all over the World who 'just can't wear green' may cause Saint Pat's Day Celebrations to be rethought.

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