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Funny story: Ted Cruz Revises Song, What a Wonderful World in His Latest Press Conference

Ted Cruz Revises Song, What a Wonderful World in His Latest Press Conference

Ted Cruz has changed his format for filibusters in the future. Rather than reading children's novels to Senators in an effort to tell them all that they are much less intelligent than he is, he will sing songs for fun and profit. The first song i...
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Funny story: Trump rumored to want Bill Clinton as Vice President

Trump rumored to want Bill Clinton as Vice President

As if this election year had not been wild enough, rumors have started flying that Donald Trump could pick Bill Clinton to be his running mate in November. The rumors started not long after Trump all but clinched the Republican nomination. Of...
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Funny story: Inquiring Trump Wants to Know

Inquiring Trump Wants to Know

DATELINE: THE GRASSY KNOLL IN DALLAS Just when was Lyin' Ted Cruz going to tell the American people that his father used to hang out with Lee Harvey Oswald? Oh, there is photographic evidence of their liaison. It has been clogging up archives for...
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Funny story: Senate on Suicide Watch as Cruz is set to Return

Senate on Suicide Watch as Cruz is set to Return

The rate of depression among Senators is expected to skyrocket following the news that Ted Cruz will return to the Senate after his failed presidential campaign. Authorities are very concerned that members of the Senate may take drastic measures...
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Funny story: Ted Cruz suspends presidential campaign, then names his entire cabinet selection anyway.

Ted Cruz suspends presidential campaign, then names his entire cabinet selection anyway.

Following his decisive loss to Republican frontrunner Donald Trump, Senator Ted Cruz has officially announced that he will be suspending his 2016 Presidential Campaign. Stating that "There is no longer a decisive path to victory," he made the announc...
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Funny story: Zombie Dentist Claims Ted Cruz's Bite Worse Than His Bark

Zombie Dentist Claims Ted Cruz's Bite Worse Than His Bark

BILLINGSGATE POST: Confused? Never heard of a Zombie dentist? Never mind. It makes no difference. Dr. Wichita Sleaze, one of the first dentists in Kansas to specialize in Zombie Maxillofacial Surgery, published an article in Dentistry Legends,...
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Funny story: Famous Couples Rival Ted Cruz and Carly

Famous Couples Rival Ted Cruz and Carly

In the world of entertainment politics, Ted Cruz continues to clear every room he enters. We have seen Ted Cruz lookalikes everywhere we turn nowadays, and the idea is not comforting. Recently, Jerry Springer brought forth a woman who looks like s...
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Funny story: Ted Cruz Attempts to Steal Donald Trump's Thunder by Selecting Failed CEO as His VP Candidate

Ted Cruz Attempts to Steal Donald Trump's Thunder by Selecting Failed CEO as His VP Candidate

Washington-After a miserable showing in this week's primary elections, the Cruz campaign decided that the best way to stop a failed businessman from becoming the Republican nominee was to sign-on a failed businesswoman as his pick for Vice President.
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Funny story: Is Free Pizza Making Candidates Fat?

Is Free Pizza Making Candidates Fat?

Apparently, Ohio Governor John Kasich, running for the Republican nomination of president, is just a fellow who can't say 'no' to a platter of food anywhere or anytime. During one sitting at a New York restaurant, the governor ate: two plates of...
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Funny story: Queen Spots Rafael Nadal

Queen Spots Rafael Nadal

While flipping through the April issue of GQ, (Gentleman's Quarterly) Queen Elizabeth reportedly came to a screeching stop and was heard to whistle, "Hail Mary! Who's the suit?" Then added, "He looks familiar. But he's wearing clothes. Strange, I do...
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Funny story: Cruz Bimbo Report By Wile E Coyote

Cruz Bimbo Report By Wile E Coyote

BILLINGSGATE POST: The five bimbos the National Enquirer claim had carnal knowledge with Ted Cruz have one thing in common; None of them have names at this time. That is just as well. Experience has taught this reporter that the slower a story unfo...
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Funny story: Dr. Phil To Host Next Trump/Cruz Debate

Dr. Phil To Host Next Trump/Cruz Debate

America's favorite TV therapist is going to tackle the crack-up of the Donald Trump and Ted Cruz bromance. "These guys have a lot of anger they are expressing, but we really need to get to the root causes of their co-dependent mutually destructive...
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Funny story: American Political Dictionary (excerpts)

American Political Dictionary (excerpts)

The 4th edition of the American Political Dictionary has just been published. Below is an excerpt. Available at bookstores nowhere. Active Shooter n. A white wingnut and/or terrorist with an assault weapon exercising his Second Amendment rights. See National Rifle Association. Christ-inanity: A system of belief, often held by Christian fundamentalists of a certain stripe, which advocates t...
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Funny story: 2016 Election: A New Woody Allen Film

2016 Election: A New Woody Allen Film

If you haven't already guessed, the 2016 election is really a Woody Allen film plot. Donald Trump, to be portrayed by Alec Baldwin, is a closet Democrat and a Hillary Clinton supporter, portrayed by Angela Lansbury. Donald never wanted to be pres...
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Funny story: After the Debate...Trump, Cruz, Rubio exchange barbs at urinal

After the Debate...Trump, Cruz, Rubio exchange barbs at urinal

Last night's Republican debate in Detroit was only half the story. Our intrepid Senior Reporter, Dale Petrie has a nose for news, which fortunately for him was plugged, because to get the real dirt, he hid in the restroom at the Fox Theater. Here is...
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Funny story: Republican Candidates for President Pressured to Release Their Anatomical Endowments

Republican Candidates for President Pressured to Release Their Anatomical Endowments

Detroit, MI--After Donald Trump revealed at the Republican debate that he was "huge," in response to Marco Rubio's implicit criticism of the size of his genitals, all of the candidates now vying for the Republican nomination are being asked to releas...
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Funny story: Kanye Ridicules Cruz & Trump Rap Battle

Kanye Ridicules Cruz & Trump Rap Battle

The Donald has tried to reach out to black Americans by staging a highly contrived music battle with Ted Cruz. However, he hasn't had much success. Man nah vote for Ted Cruiser, dis dull Establishment GOP loser! Man will nah vote, dis guy a jerk! Him Cruz Canadian, nah let man jive 'n' smirk! Man never vote for nah Teddy Cruz, Trump have fi win, me man dem Teddy lose! Cruz has hi...
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Funny story: Ted Cruz Flies Over The Cuckoos Nest

Ted Cruz Flies Over The Cuckoos Nest

In a desperate attempt to prove how tough he would be on illegal immigration, presidential candidate Ted Cruz vowed to attach a huge net to the wall he will build between Mexico and the United States. "We no longer will allow migrating birds to mo...
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Breaking News...

Trump Blames His Downslide in the Polls on Terrorists

"Terrorists know they'll be in trouble once I'm President so they rigged the polls against me!!"
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