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Funny satire stories about Ted Cruz

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Funny story: Famous Couples Rival Ted Cruz and Carly

Famous Couples Rival Ted Cruz and Carly

In the world of entertainment politics, Ted Cruz continues to clear every room he enters. We have seen Ted Cruz lookalikes everywhere we turn nowadays, and the idea is not comforting. Recently, Jerry Springer brought forth a woman who looks like s...
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Funny story: Ted Cruz Attempts to Steal Donald Trump's Thunder by Selecting Failed CEO as His VP Candidate

Ted Cruz Attempts to Steal Donald Trump's Thunder by Selecting Failed CEO as His VP Candidate

Washington-After a miserable showing in this week's primary elections, the Cruz campaign decided that the best way to stop a failed businessman from becoming the Republican nominee was to sign-on a failed businesswoman as his pick for Vice President.
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Funny story: Is Free Pizza Making Candidates Fat?

Is Free Pizza Making Candidates Fat?

Apparently, Ohio Governor John Kasich, running for the Republican nomination of president, is just a fellow who can't say 'no' to a platter of food anywhere or anytime. During one sitting at a New York restaurant, the governor ate: two plates of...
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Funny story: Queen Spots Rafael Nadal

Queen Spots Rafael Nadal

While flipping through the April issue of GQ, (Gentleman's Quarterly) Queen Elizabeth reportedly came to a screeching stop and was heard to whistle, "Hail Mary! Who's the suit?" Then added, "He looks familiar. But he's wearing clothes. Strange, I do...
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Funny story: Cruz Bimbo Report By Wile E Coyote

Cruz Bimbo Report By Wile E Coyote

BILLINGSGATE POST: The five bimbos the National Enquirer claim had carnal knowledge with Ted Cruz have one thing in common; None of them have names at this time. That is just as well. Experience has taught this reporter that the slower a story unfo...
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Funny story: Dr. Phil To Host Next Trump/Cruz Debate

Dr. Phil To Host Next Trump/Cruz Debate

America's favorite TV therapist is going to tackle the crack-up of the Donald Trump and Ted Cruz bromance. "These guys have a lot of anger they are expressing, but we really need to get to the root causes of their co-dependent mutually destructive...
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Funny story: American Political Dictionary (excerpts)

American Political Dictionary (excerpts)

The 4th edition of the American Political Dictionary has just been published. Below is an excerpt. Available at bookstores nowhere. Active Shooter n. A white wingnut and/or terrorist with an assault weapon exercising his Second Amendment rights. See National Rifle Association. Christ-inanity: A system of belief, often held by Christian fundamentalists of a certain stripe, which advocates t...
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Funny story: 2016 Election: A New Woody Allen Film

2016 Election: A New Woody Allen Film

If you haven't already guessed, the 2016 election is really a Woody Allen film plot. Donald Trump, to be portrayed by Alec Baldwin, is a closet Democrat and a Hillary Clinton supporter, portrayed by Angela Lansbury. Donald never wanted to be pres...
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Funny story: After the Debate...Trump, Cruz, Rubio exchange barbs at urinal

After the Debate...Trump, Cruz, Rubio exchange barbs at urinal

Last night's Republican debate in Detroit was only half the story. Our intrepid Senior Reporter, Dale Petrie has a nose for news, which fortunately for him was plugged, because to get the real dirt, he hid in the restroom at the Fox Theater. Here is...
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Funny story: Republican Candidates for President Pressured to Release Their Anatomical Endowments

Republican Candidates for President Pressured to Release Their Anatomical Endowments

Detroit, MI--After Donald Trump revealed at the Republican debate that he was "huge," in response to Marco Rubio's implicit criticism of the size of his genitals, all of the candidates now vying for the Republican nomination are being asked to releas...
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Funny story: Kanye Ridicules Cruz & Trump Rap Battle

Kanye Ridicules Cruz & Trump Rap Battle

The Donald has tried to reach out to black Americans by staging a highly contrived music battle with Ted Cruz. However, he hasn't had much success. Man nah vote for Ted Cruiser, dis dull Establishment GOP loser! Man will nah vote, dis guy a jerk! Him Cruz Canadian, nah let man jive 'n' smirk! Man never vote for nah Teddy Cruz, Trump have fi win, me man dem Teddy lose! Cruz has hi...
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Funny story: Ted Cruz Flies Over The Cuckoos Nest

Ted Cruz Flies Over The Cuckoos Nest

In a desperate attempt to prove how tough he would be on illegal immigration, presidential candidate Ted Cruz vowed to attach a huge net to the wall he will build between Mexico and the United States. "We no longer will allow migrating birds to mo...
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Funny story: Ted Cruz Accuses Rivals Of Cannibalism

Ted Cruz Accuses Rivals Of Cannibalism

Saying the New York Times reported it first, the Cruz campaign was distancing itself from a mailer a Cruz super pac sent out to Nevada voters describing his opponent's practices of ritual sacrifices and cannibalism. "It was a mistake to tell vote...
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Funny story: Ted Cruz To Perform Exorcism On Hillary Clinton

Ted Cruz To Perform Exorcism On Hillary Clinton

Though neither are even close to wrapping up their party's nomination, Hillary Clinton and Ted Cruz will appear together in an unprecedented event: Hillary will make her case for another Clinton Presidency while Ted Cruz will attempt to exorcise the...
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Funny story: Ted Cruz: Second Head Makes Trump Ineligible for POTUS

Ted Cruz: Second Head Makes Trump Ineligible for POTUS

In a bizarre turn of the tables, Ted Cruz has launched a birther attack against Donald Trump after reports of a second head emerging from Trump's jacket and shouting during a New Hampshire press briefing. "If this story is true, it raises serious...
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Funny story: Ted Cruz And Penelope Cruz Not Eligible To Run For President

Ted Cruz And Penelope Cruz Not Eligible To Run For President

Foreign-born Ted Cruz and foreign-born Penelope Cruz are not eligible to run for President of the United States. He was born in Canada and she was born in Spain. Foreign-born Arnold Schwarzeneggar, though married to a niece of a president, also canno...
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton Picks Joe Biden As Her Vice President

Hillary Clinton Picks Joe Biden As Her Vice President

Hillary Clinton announced she's picking Joe Biden as her Vice President running mate. Naturally, Bernie Sanders is shouting foul, as he defended her on her emails and using the bathroom during the last debate. "Thanks, but you're not getting the...
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Funny story: Poetic Justice: Supreme Court Rules Ted Cruz A Virtual Non-Entity

Poetic Justice: Supreme Court Rules Ted Cruz A Virtual Non-Entity

BILLINGSGATE POST: Not since April of 2010 has the Supreme Court issued a decision in the form of a limerick. Historically, The High Court of Scotland started this procedure back in the 1262 in order to keep an over-supply of poetic justices occupie...
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