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Funny satire stories about Ted Cruz

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Funny story: Ted Cruz And Penelope Cruz Not Eligible To Run For President

Ted Cruz And Penelope Cruz Not Eligible To Run For President

Foreign-born Ted Cruz and foreign-born Penelope Cruz are not eligible to run for President of the United States. He was born in Canada and she was born in Spain. Foreign-born Arnold Schwarzeneggar, though married to a niece of a president, also canno...
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton Picks Joe Biden As Her Vice President

Hillary Clinton Picks Joe Biden As Her Vice President

Hillary Clinton announced she's picking Joe Biden as her Vice President running mate. Naturally, Bernie Sanders is shouting foul, as he defended her on her emails and using the bathroom during the last debate. "Thanks, but you're not getting the...
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Funny story: Poetic Justice: Supreme Court Rules Ted Cruz A Virtual Non-Entity

Poetic Justice: Supreme Court Rules Ted Cruz A Virtual Non-Entity

BILLINGSGATE POST: Not since April of 2010 has the Supreme Court issued a decision in the form of a limerick. Historically, The High Court of Scotland started this procedure back in the 1262 in order to keep an over-supply of poetic justices occupie...
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Funny story: Trump and Sarah Palin talk cabinet positions in Iowa diner

Trump and Sarah Palin talk cabinet positions in Iowa diner

Last night Mr. Trump and Sarah Palin met at Royal Star Super Burger, an Iowa diner, and the event turned into a campaign rally. Hunkered down with super burgers, macaroni and cheese, plus diet Pepsis all was going quietly until somebody yelled: "P...
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Funny story: Trump: Birther Attack on Jesus

Trump: Birther Attack on Jesus

Donald Trump seems strong in the race for the Republican presidential nomination, but that doesn't mean he'll curb his more fringe tendencies. This week, Trump spoke at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia, where he brought his brash viewpoi...
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Funny story: Trump concerned that Ted Cruz will spend thousands of tax dollars on maple syrup

Trump concerned that Ted Cruz will spend thousands of tax dollars on maple syrup

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump finds it very problematic that fellow candidate Ted Cruz is from Canada. Trump states that during breaks in the debate, Cruz surreptitiously drinks maple syrup from a flask stickered with Canadian flags.
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Funny story: Ted Cruz Changes His Name To "Air Force One"

Ted Cruz Changes His Name To "Air Force One"

BILLINGSGATE POST: "I will never have a plane with my name on it," said Ted Cruz in comparing himself to rival Don Trump; "unless I am elected president and change my name to Air Force One." "EGAD FAP! KAFF KAFF!..WHEEEZ! GULP! GLUG GLUG!" Whene...
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Funny story: Ted Cruz's Daughters Admit to Running Campaign

Ted Cruz's Daughters Admit to Running Campaign

WASHINGTON- Ted Cruz and his untrained, human daughters held a press conference today to announce that his presidential campaign has been controlled from the start by his elementary school aged children. In the wake of a disgusting, unimaginable...
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Funny story: Monkeys Protest Being Portrayed as Tedd Cruz's Children

Monkeys Protest Being Portrayed as Tedd Cruz's Children

Monkeys are irate after a distasteful political cartoon depicted them stumping for the dark horse Republican presidential candidate. "Sure we work for peanuts sometimes," one inconsolable primate protested, "but that doesn't mean we'll go out in f...
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Funny story: Cruz Calls Trump "Labradoodle Liberal"

Cruz Calls Trump "Labradoodle Liberal"

BILLINGSGATE POST: In reply to Donald Trump calling him a "maniac" on FOX NEWS this Sunday, Senator Ted Cruz came back with a low-blow, counter punch that literally floored the Donald by referring to the man who has everything as a Labradoodle Liber...
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Funny story: Republicans in the House Threaten to Shut Down the Government Unless the US Postal Service Comes Out with a New Stamp Honoring Ayn Rand

Republicans in the House Threaten to Shut Down the Government Unless the US Postal Service Comes Out with a New Stamp Honoring Ayn Rand

WASHINGTON, D.C.--House Republicans today threatened to shut down the government unless the US Postal Service comes out with a new memorial stamp honoring free-market hero Ayn Rand. Ayn Rand, who was already memorialized in a postage stamp that ca...
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Funny story: Queen Elizabeth Denounces Canadian Citizenship

Queen Elizabeth Denounces Canadian Citizenship

BUCKINGHAM PALACE - Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth II held a press conference today denouncing her Canadian citizenship. "I was born in the United Kingdom and lived exclusively in the United Kingdom. There have been trips across the pond. bu...
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Funny story: Ted Cruz Bobblehead Night

Ted Cruz Bobblehead Night

Honoring the famous sons and daughters of Canada, the Flin Flon Flayers of the Provincial and Extra-Provincial League will host Ted Cruz Bobblehead Night on August 15th when thy take on the Moose Jaw Motherchuckers at 7:05 Canadian Prairie Time.
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Funny story: Ted Cruz: "Call Me Tatyana"

Ted Cruz: "Call Me Tatyana"

Odessa Tx:Sen Ted Cruz(R)TX has a secret, and he is about to expose it in an upcoming issue of "Horse and Hound" magazine. Cruz has been busy doing a cover shoot for the equestrian inclined mag since April. "I'm sooooo excited about this cover...
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Funny story: Rush Vs Ted Cruz: "Crypto-Mexican-Scientologist-Pan-Cuban-Mexichurian-Candidate"

Rush Vs Ted Cruz: "Crypto-Mexican-Scientologist-Pan-Cuban-Mexichurian-Candidate"

Rush Limbaugh has turned over a new leaf and has started criticizing Republican candidates. Hey, that's a good thing, right? Well... maybe. Depends on how you look at it. After all, "Truth is what works," as one famous American famously said. Recently, on his viral (or at least highly virulent) radio show, "Rush the Magic White Boy," sinister allegations started circulating about Ted...
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Funny story: Ted Cruz Blocked On Facebook By His Own Mother

Ted Cruz Blocked On Facebook By His Own Mother

Texas Senator and presidential hopeful Ted Cruz (R), in an emotional interview with Fox News pundit Bill O'Reilly, revealed that his own mother recently blocked him on Facebook. This unprecedented act of maternal indifference comes at a very str...
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Funny story: Political 'Jeopardy!' for Rising Prominent Politicians

Political 'Jeopardy!' for Rising Prominent Politicians

Jeopardy! has been around since 1984, with 25 million regular viewers who try their best to shout out their own responses to the clues before the contestants. We marvel at Jeopardy! superstars like Ken Jennings, who held the champion spot for an incr...
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Funny story: Mole Removed from God's Ass Turns Out to Be the Republican Party

Mole Removed from God's Ass Turns Out to Be the Republican Party

HEAVEN--Ohio Governor John Kasich asked this week, concerning his bid for the presidency in 2016, "[T]he most important thing is, what does the Lord want me to do with my life?" This statement came only weeks after Ted Cruz announced his bid for th...
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Breaking News...

The Donald Touts His Military Creds

His Trumpiness bellows he's "militaristic!" 'Course he is -- he colors his hair with Agent Orange.
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