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Funny story: New App Will Call a Party-Goer to Crack Your Smart Phone Screen in Authentically "Cool" Manner

New App Will Call a Party-Goer to Crack Your Smart Phone Screen in Authentically "Cool" Manner

New York, NY- Today, the new "CrackIt" app was officially launched to much fanfare, it's an app that provides users a "socially legitimate phone screen crack" on-demand. The app was bolstered by an impressive $2 million dollar seed funding round, led...
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Funny story: Case Against Technology- Part 16: Appliances

Case Against Technology- Part 16: Appliances

Washer & Dryer- These appliances usually come in pairs, and are standard features in most homes. But if you're not rich you have to use the machines at the nearest laundromat. Despite its technological prowess the modern washing machine is still no match for the crusty shit caked on a pair of dirty underwear. Only the human touch can cleanse such filth. Air Conditioner- Widely used in...
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Funny story: Case Against Technology- Part 15: Kitchen Appliances

Case Against Technology- Part 15: Kitchen Appliances

Refrigerator- This modern day appliance had its origin from when ancient man stored perishable food in snow packs, a practice that later lead to the invention of the ice box, which was a storage box full of ice. It wasn't until the discovery of electricity when what we know as the refrigerator was invented. Oven- This is the second oldest kitchen appliance that marked an advancement in co...
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Funny story: Case Against Technology- Part 14: Household Appliances

Case Against Technology- Part 14: Household Appliances

HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES What started as a well intentioned manufacturing movement toward freeing the housewife from a life of hard labor soon turned into an all out invasion of the killer machines. They infiltrated households like Trojan Horses disguised as handy helpers designed to save time doing the work faster and better than a human. Shortly after the arrival of the machines wom...
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Funny story: Case Against Technology- Part 13: Mobile Devices

Case Against Technology- Part 13: Mobile Devices

Mobile Devices- Having exhausted their capacity to think up any ideas for new products due to acute brain atrophy, manufacturers resorted to tinkering with the same old electronic components to make new gizmos - in a technological inbreeding kind of way. The new products were cobbled together from spare parts scavenged from the sprawling industrial dump just outside Hong Kong. For pennies...
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Funny story: Case Against Technology- Part 12: Laptop Computers

Case Against Technology- Part 12: Laptop Computers

Laptops- Laptops satisfied consumer demand the same way lapdogs pacify their masters' angst, providing both with companionship. But many laptop users resent the comparison to a lapdog because it automatically infers a link to bestiality, which is a repugnant taboo - and they don't want anyone to know about their perversion. Computer companies were quick to exploit and capitalize on close...
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Funny story: The Case Against Technology- Part 11: Desktop Computers

The Case Against Technology- Part 11: Desktop Computers

Desktop Computers- The personal computer (PC) was invented as a prosthesis to replace the human brain. As expected our brains have atrophied from the reliance upon such a crutch - and users just can't get enough. Whereas the telephone lets your fingers do the walking, now you can let the PC do the thinking. After all, thinking is too much like work and people have better things to do with their ti...
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Funny story: New Orleans Fortune Teller Arrested For Hexting

New Orleans Fortune Teller Arrested For Hexting

New Orleans, L.A. - Proving you can do just about anything on your cellphone these days, Big Mama Juju, as she is known in her native New Orleans, is the very first person to get arrested in the U.S. for HEXTING. You see, Big Mama Juju has enjoyed a...
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Funny story: The Case Against Technology- Part 10: Boats

The Case Against Technology- Part 10: Boats

Boats The invention of the boat was another manifestation of man's proclivity to retain his inner animal. In this case it's the fish. Due to the abundance of water on the planet it was difficult to avoid. The main problem with boats is that they sink and people tend to drown as a result. This can be expected from a vessel invented thousand of years ago. Still they remain a popular mode of t...
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Funny story: The Case Against Technology- Part 9: Aircraft

The Case Against Technology- Part 9: Aircraft

AIRCRAFT If man were meant to fly he would have been born with wings is an old cliché that still holds true today. Nevertheless people continue to defy natural law trying to do what they were not meant to do -- with disastrous results. Aircraft were invented by people who were afraid of water so they decided to use the sky instead. Their fear of drowning blinded them to the hazards of gravity.
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Funny story: The Case Against Technology- Part 8: Motor Vehicles

The Case Against Technology- Part 8: Motor Vehicles

Motor Vehicles Automobiles- The term automobile was coined as a marketing spin to imply that this was a self-powered vehicle that provided automatic mobility. The name designation had a two-fold function: The first car companies faced a difficult challenge trying to get horse & buggy drivers to upgrade to the newfangled motorized vehicle, and needed to change public perception about the ben...
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Funny story: The Case Against Technology- Part 7: Animal Transport

The Case Against Technology- Part 7: Animal Transport

Animal Transport Horse-Drawn Carriages- After centuries of men riding around on top of horses, camels, and even elephants, someone made them all look like fools by inventing an innovative alternative by attaching a simple car behind a horse, and voila! The horse and buggy was born. It was a somewhat substantial advance in transportation, but like most new technologies it was fatally flawed.
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Funny story: The Case Against Technology- Part 7: Mass Transit

The Case Against Technology- Part 7: Mass Transit

Mass Transit Systems Buses- Buses are the preferred vehicle of perverts because urban commuters pack into these smog-belching behemoths like sardines. It's the ideal environment to squeeze up against sexy women with impunity. Subways- Subway trains slither through the dark urban underground tunnels like a venomous snakes with a gut full of vermin. At the snake pit station passengers are pic...
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Funny story: The Case Against Technology- Part 6: Nuclear Power

The Case Against Technology- Part 6: Nuclear Power

NUCLEAR POWER Here's textbook example of science gone awry. They thought it seemed like a good thing at the time; storage and disposal of the radioactive waste from this exciting new technology can be dealt with later when the next generation can invent an exciting new technology to deal with the problem - a classic case of kicking the can down the road. But in this case they're kicking the buc...
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Funny story: The Cast Against Technology- Part 5: Fossil Fuels

The Cast Against Technology- Part 5: Fossil Fuels

FOSSIL FUELS Like the dinosaurs these filthy fuels should have stayed buried underground. But true to form, energy companies dredged them up from hell to burn us all to hell. Oil- This grimy goop represents the filthy slime of the industry executives who suck the sludge up from dwindling reserves without reservation. The drilling method is a perverted ritual that symbolizes a gargantuan mas...
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Funny story: The Cast Against Technology- Part 4: Electricity

The Cast Against Technology- Part 4: Electricity

ELECTRICITY The industrial dynamics of society and civilization at large is powered by electrical energy. As ubiquitous as it is, and as dependent as we are on it, it is the most used yet least understood type of energy we have. Although we learned how to harness it to a certain extent, we have not quite mastered it because the laws of physics cannot explain exactly how it works. Despite our to...
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Funny story: The Cast Against Technology- Part 2: Science

The Cast Against Technology- Part 2: Science

SCIENCE Science is a two-headed sword. Beneficial yet usually misused, with dire consequences. In the recent past scientists insisted that the earth was a flat planet located at the center of the universe, the only planet anywhere with life on it. Those who subscribed to that belief were called The Flat Earth Society. Anyone who suggested otherwise was ridiculed or ignored by the stubbornly sel...
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Funny story: The Cast Against Technology- Part 1

The Cast Against Technology- Part 1

TECHNOLOGY Technology holds the potential for world peace, prosperity and a perfect utopian society. But the promise of progress is turns out to be a double-dealing deception threatening the future of all humanity. The betrayal of trust by mad scientists has created enormous obstacles to real scientific progress and caused some of the most menacing problems of society. If this is no accident an...
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