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Funny satire stories about TSA

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Plane Takes Off, Then Lands. TSA in Hot Water.

Funny story: Plane Takes Off, Then Lands. TSA in Hot Water.

Due to a glitch in the TSA's Delay Performance System, Trans American Flight 209 left the gate on time, took off, and landed at its intended destination on time. "We are looking into this situation. We take delay tactics very seriously, and if ou...

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TSA X-rayed her breast milk but mom gets last squeeze

Stacy Armato says agents gave her a HARD time when she asked that they please not X-ray her breast milk at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport in 2010. ABC says, "She pleaded for an alternate way to screen it" But an unidentified source said the...

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He really wasn't dead... yet

Funny story: He really wasn't dead... yet

New York, NY (STT News) - News is breaking that today's disturbance at LaGuardia International Airport was based on the shocking discovery that Elvis Presley really wasn't dead after all. At approximately 10:45 am, the entire airport was suddenly...

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Due To The TSA Upskirt Photo Scandal Female Passengers Are Urged To Wear Pants

Funny story: Due To The TSA Upskirt Photo Scandal Female Passengers Are Urged To Wear Pants

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Transportation Safety Association trying to regain its credibility has fired the TSA agent who was taking upskirt photos of women passengers with his cell phone. A TSA spokesperson said that his agency promises that the inci...

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TSA Blows Up Suspicious Passenger

Funny story: TSA Blows Up Suspicious Passenger

Transportation Security Administration airport workers intentionally blew up a passenger today after he began acting suspiciously. "The male subject was very nervous, and he had no identification and no luggage, and he refused to identify himsel...

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The TSA Says Bye-Bye To Airport Body Scanners

Funny story: The TSA Says Bye-Bye To Airport Body Scanners

WASHINGTON, D.C. - After embarrassing millions of airport travelers, the Transportation Security Administration has announced that within five months all airport full-body scanners will be unplugged and removed from all of the nation's airports. T...

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Piers Morgan's new "America's Got Guns" T.V. series leaked

Funny story: Piers Morgan's new "America's Got Guns" T.V. series leaked

Hollywood, California - The script for the first show of a new T.V. series to be hosted by hoity-toity Piers Morgan has been leaked to the Press. The new show is to be called America's Got Guns and features exciting audience interaction. The scri...

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Man Crashes Car into Food Stand at Airport Concourse

Funny story: Man Crashes Car into Food Stand at Airport Concourse

A Miami, Florida man smashed his car into an Einstein Brothers food stand on the second floor concourse of the Miami International Airport while parallel parking between a set of stationary tables. Fortunately there were no casualties except for the...

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"Transit of Venus doesn't Count" - TSA

Funny story: "Transit of Venus doesn't Count" - TSA

TSA Headquarters, Washington, DC - The recent transit of Venus will go into the record books with an asterisk, according to the Transit Space Authority. "She jumped the turnstile without putting in a token", complained TSA spokesman Buckler Q. Cro...

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So Impressed With His First TSA Pat Down, Former Secretary of State, Henry Kissinger, Goes Through It Twice

Funny story: So Impressed With His First TSA Pat Down, Former Secretary of State, Henry Kissinger, Goes Through It Twice

88 year old former US Secretary of State, Henry Kissinger, got a taste of his first TSA pat down. This occurred while going to Toronto to try to negotiate a ceasefire between the Miami Heat's shooting guard Dwayne Wade and his coach Erik Spoelstra.

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Congressman: Replace TSA with New Airport Screening Program

Funny story: Congressman: Replace TSA with New Airport Screening Program

Washington (SAPP) - To stop a mounting surge of complaints against the Transportation Security Agency (TSA), Congressman Westley Guilder (R-Texas) has introduced House Bill 1202 that would change the way TSA screeners handle passengers entering into...

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TSA Announces New Screening Rules

Funny story: TSA Announces New Screening Rules

TSA and Homeland Security have announced new pre-boarding screening procedures that they say will ease the flow of passengers though all US airports. The new system will come into effect on 1 June. In a memo leaked yesterday the new procedures in...

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Ron Paul Vows To Do Away With Those Invasive TSA Airport "Pat Downs" Or As He Prefers To Call Them "Feel Ups"

Funny story: Ron Paul Vows To Do Away With Those Invasive TSA Airport "Pat Downs" Or As He Prefers To Call Them "Feel Ups"

SHREVEPORT, Louisiana - GOP presidential candidate Ron Paul was speaking to a crowd that had gathered at Shreveport's General Stonewall Jackson High School. He told the crowd estimated by Jo Jo Spamaficki, owner of Spamaficki's Hardware Store, to...

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Stinky Feet Causes Climate Change

Funny story: Stinky Feet Causes Climate Change

Washington DC: A new Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) study apologizes for the federal government's junk science blaming Carbon Dioxide (CO2) for causing climate change. The real culprit is stinky feet. The EPA was examining regulating the o...

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Cameron Warns Of Banning Incoming US Passenger Flights From Britain!

Funny story: Cameron Warns Of Banning Incoming US Passenger Flights From Britain!

The astonishing decision by 'Big Sis' to put passengers lives at increased risk from elderly terrorists by relaxing security procedures for the over 75's at US airports has brought a warning from Britain's Prime Minister David Cameron, currently in A...

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TSA to target jokers

Funny story: TSA to target jokers

Washington, DC - We all know not to joke while in line to board airplanes these days, but a new plan to ban joking everywhere is rapidly taking shape, according to our source C. Fowlercross, our mole in the TSA. (That is not his real name). Accor...

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Terror threat from midgets posing as kindergarten students: naked

Emmaus, PA, - As previously reported, yesterday the TSA responded to a terror incident at the 6th street elementary school in Emmaus. What appeared to be a simple terror incident is now clouded with possible teacher corruption. It has been reported...

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Latest terror threat from midgets posing as kindergarten students

Funny story: Latest terror threat from midgets posing as kindergarten students

Emmaus, PA - A bevy of emergency vehicles, on the triangle at 11 A.M today, are responding to a terror incident at the 6th Street Elementary School in Emmaus. Kindergarten students, ranging in ages from five to seven (repeaters) are lined up against...

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Breaking news…

National Park Service Rewrites Statue of Liberty Plaque

"Give me your strong, your rich, your workers yearning to breathe capitalism. Send no homeless, impoverished, or those seeking refuge from MS-13 to me. I want no trash to tarnish our golden door."
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