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A call in the day of a telephone-survey guy

Funny story: A call in the day of a telephone-survey guy

Hello Mr Barratt! This is Gavin from Surveysulike.web. Please could you spare us a few minutes of your very precious time (well, half-an-hour really) to take part in a survey about surveys? No need to swear Mr Barratt! Can I call you Robert? No, I can't call you "Winston effing Churchill", Mr Barratt. And how are you today? Suicidal, you say? That's great! Lovely weather, eh? Ah so it'...

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Sports Betting Good for Heart Health and Blood Pressure Says Las Vegas Casino Owners

Funny story: Sports Betting Good for Heart Health and Blood Pressure Says Las Vegas Casino Owners

Las Vegas, NV Las Vegas casino owners concluded a study and released the findings today. They found that gambling on anything, but especially sports, is very therapeutic and has many benefits, including lowering the risk of heart attack, stroke, and...

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Polls don't tell us anything

Funny story: Polls don't tell us anything

According to a recent poll conducted by the Polish Polling organisation, Dollop, the British public do not believe polls can tell us anything about the nation's thoughts. "Polls are," said Dollop Pole, Polly Pauls, "largely useless. Apparently."...

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People have a favourite number

Funny story: People have a favourite number

With most of the important subjects having been covered a PhD student in Manchester has researched the inclination of people to have a favourite number, and see it wherever they go. "My doctorate is in people's predilection for seeing their favour...

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Younger Pimps Support Obamacare, Gay Marriage

Funny story: Younger Pimps Support Obamacare, Gay Marriage

A recent Dew research poll has uncovered some surprising results. The annual Pimp Poll, in which 1,000 pimps across the country are asked their opinions on various issues, shows that pimps under the age of 35 lean Democratic and support Obamacare...

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Some Walmarts Will Begin Selling Automobiles

Funny story: Some Walmarts Will Begin Selling Automobiles

BENTONVILLE, Arkansas - The world's largest retail giant is getting ready to revolutionize the retail store industry. Walmart Spokesperson Kimberley Silverlace has unveiled Walmart's new "We Got It All" policy by revealing that the retail franchis...

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Trousers top the list of most useful clothing item

Funny story: Trousers top the list of most useful clothing item

Many thought the bra would have been the most useful invention invented by the inventive. However, it has been pipped to the top of the clothing pops by trousers. Researchers for Hi! magazine who conducted the survey think that this was because most...

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Three quarters of Britons are happy

Funny story: Three quarters of Britons are happy

In a recent survey, it was discovered that seventy-five percent of Britons are happy. However, a second survey conducted by a different survey company discovered that they could find nobody who'd been asked by the previous survey whether they were ha...

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Cross dressers make the best husbands

Funny story: Cross dressers make the best husbands

A poll from a leading Women's magazine has revealed that cross dressers make the best husbands. "Even the gay ones," said Kay Bored, editor of women's magazine I'm a Woman. "Obviously in a civil partnership." The study was quite revealing acco...

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Report: "For real" now used solely when lying

New York, NY--According to a new report by Columbia University, the phrase 'For real', originally devised by inner-city dwellers to convey truthfulness or legitimacy, is now solely used as a device to feign emotions and disguise dishonesty. "Our s...

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Most Useless Gadget? It's The Fondue Set

Funny story: Most Useless Gadget? It's The Fondue Set

Top of the list of unused household gadgets is the fondue set, according to new research. Apparently, we Brits spend £900 million a year on gadgets we rarely use. Having obtained a fondue set - usually as a wedding present - we tend to leave th...

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The Bartholomew Uttersthwaite Column: Hospital Local Elections Survey

Funny story: The Bartholomew Uttersthwaite Column: Hospital Local Elections Survey

Bartholomew Uttersthwaite had originally been out on his mission to obtain the views of the Nottingham public, on the upcoming Local Elections, but suffered failure in that attempt. Bartholomew Utterswaite Column - Local Eklections Survey Hence this, his second effort, done during his stay in ward E19 of the QMC hospital in Nottingham, as a result of his first attempt. As soon as he started to...

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The Top 10 Most Unpopular Drinks of 2012

Funny story: The Top 10 Most Unpopular Drinks of 2012

Adult Beverage Magazine has just released their list of The Top 10 Most Unpopular Drinks of 2012. Magazine Editor Ballantine Brouhahaburger, 88, pointed out that this year a total of 917,361 people responded to The Adult Beverage Magazine Rate The Drinks Survey. People from every state in the union participated in the survey. The Rate The Drinks Survey committee executive senior director Gen...

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Women Who Love Cleaning

Funny story: Women Who Love Cleaning

A third of women secretly love cleaning, a survey has revealed. The results of research by pharmaceutical manufacturers, Thornton and Ross, show that many women find giving the house a once-over "satisfying" or a "therapeutic" expererience. But...

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Passing the time is the new pastime

More people than ever before now spend most of their spare time 'passing time'. In a recent European survey of several thousand people (who were just hanging about), over 90% of them said their main pastime was passing the time. "A few years ag...

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Jeans influence how much sleep you need

A study of 15 people found that those wearing baggy jeans slept much longer than the normal average of 8 hours. And those wearing 'severely-distressed' jeans reported fewer hours of sleep - mainly because of the draughts. Researchers planned to su...

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Britain's favourite meal is... Brunch!

Funny story: Britain's favourite meal is... Brunch!

The UK is going bonkers for brunch according to a new survey. 42% of Brits no longer eat breakfast while a staggering 98% have taken up the mid-morning meal instead to save time. Kate Tin of Durex who ran the poll explained the findings 'People...

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Worthing Voted World's Most Liveable City

Funny story: Worthing Voted World's Most Liveable City

Whilst you may never have thought of Worthing as a 'city', an international panel of Pikey travellers has decided otherwise. In a recent liveability survey, carried out by the Pikey Ford Transit Van Club of Europe and The Americas, the former West S...

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